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If you were the bride, would this offend you?

Posted by on Aug. 31, 2014 at 7:07 AM
  • 21 Replies

My BFF is getting married in December. I am a bridesmaid and  my 3 year old daughter the flower girl. Last winter I bought 2 dresses on clerance for her to possibly wear for the wedding, 1 ivory and 1 white with red flower details. Our bridesmaids dresses are apple. My BFF said last year either was fine and I said I would keep my eye out also. Since then she sent me a couple pins on pintrest of cute flower girl dresses, but really expensive.

 So back story is she is paying for everything for her future sister in law to participate, hair, make up, nails, etc. The girl is really strange, extremely introverted and socially akward. So the girl quit the wedding party once but rejoined. She also refused to go shopping when the rest of us do for dresses bc she doesn't like being around too many people. So I asked my BFF Friday night when she was going to play fairy god mother to future SIL, as in when they were going shopping.

We were all going to order our dresses yesterday. Well my BFF said IDK but I will be (my daughters name) FG's tomorrow if we find a dress. So I ended up taking my daughter and my BFF bought her $100 FG dress. Since then I've been muling it over and think its a bad idea. The dress is spaghetti strap- for a December wedding. I told my BFF I would get a bolero for over top, but I've realized that will cover the jeweled ribbon sash she bought to match our dresses.

    The brides dress is ivory and the Ralph Lauren dress I bought last year is ivory, velvet on top and sparkly tuile on bottom. It had a ribbon on it that I just took off and the sash BFF bought fits perfectly. The dress looks wintery, and I think DD would be much more comfortable in it since it at least has short sleeves. The wedding is in a big cathedral and I am worried it will be cold and drafty. Moreover my common sense says what the heck are we spending $100 on a dress a 3 year old will wear once and probably stain at the reception anyways. So my question is, would you as the bride be offended if I asked to switch dresses? I would be able to return the dress and get store credit which she could use towards paying for the other dress.

by on Aug. 31, 2014 at 7:07 AM
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Replies (1-10):
yvonne37
by Platinum Member on Aug. 31, 2014 at 3:05 PM

 no i wouldnt be offended.  I would have asked you before picking the dress though, because its your daughter... but since you let her buy it, then just tell her you didnt think of the weather and your daughter will be cold in that dress, that you rather have her in the other dress if she does not mind, because caring for a sick child is not fun.

yvonne37
by Platinum Member on Aug. 31, 2014 at 3:07 PM

 I dont like weddings for this reason.. the day we decide to do a real wedding I will tell everyone the theme and color and let them chose their style, some brides want everyone to (bridesmaids) to wear one style and one color and we all have different types of bodies.

lizzig
by Ruby Member on Aug. 31, 2014 at 4:16 PM

 i wouldn't be offended but i can't speak for others.  i know some that would.  to me practical & thrifty are tops but again, that's not how all feel.

suroundedbyboys
by Bronze Member on Aug. 31, 2014 at 4:58 PM
My one cousin did this for her wedding just said black tea length dress. I was one month post a c-section so I was able to get away with a stretchy black maternity one.

The original dress that was picked for this wedding for the bridesmaids by the bridesmaids was hideous. Aside from BFF's stick figure sister everyone is plus size. I missed the original shopping date bc my mom was in the hospital for emergency surgery. At the time my BFF sent me pics of what the girls were trying on and picked, it was horrendous, I felt like asking if anyone looked in the mirror. They had picked theses straight style over lay dresses with a fit a flair behind the bottom, and one shoulder strap. I was mortified when I tried it on (and discovered yesterday I wear the smallest of the plus sizes of everyone). When BFF went I asked to try on some different dresses and thankfully we changed the dress. No one had tried the dress on until we went yesterday other than her sister and I. So happy the bride took in put!


Quoting yvonne37:

 I dont like weddings for this reason.. the day we decide to do a real wedding I will tell everyone the theme and color and let them chose their style, some brides want everyone to (bridesmaids) to wear one style and one color and we all have different types of bodies.

EireLass
by Silver Member on Aug. 31, 2014 at 7:21 PM
Nobody but the bride should wear white or ivory.
butzi
by Member on Sep. 1, 2014 at 12:29 PM
1 mom liked this
I was a flower girl almost 50 years ago, I had a flower girl 30 years ago, both of my girls were flower girls one in 1991 and the other twice in 1995. I went to my nieces wedding 3 months ago. In all of these the flower girl wore a dress either white or ivory that complimented the brides dress. It seems like people have been allowing the flower girl to wear a dress like she's described for years.

Quoting EireLass: Nobody but the bride should wear white or ivory.
suroundedbyboys
by Bronze Member on Sep. 1, 2014 at 2:21 PM
2 moms liked this
I've never seen a flower girl at a wedding wear any color but white/ ivory.

Quoting EireLass: Nobody but the bride should wear white or ivory.
suroundedbyboys
by Bronze Member on Sep. 1, 2014 at 2:23 PM
4 moms liked this
Update: MY BFF was fine with me returning the dress! She loves the dress I sent pics of. I know she likes the look of a full bottom so I am going to sew a few extra layers of tulle into the dress.
butzi
by Member on Sep. 1, 2014 at 3:01 PM
1 mom liked this
Happy endings are great!

Quoting suroundedbyboys: Update: MY BFF was fine with me returning the dress! She loves the dress I sent pics of. I know she likes the look of a full bottom so I am going to sew a few extra layers of tulle into the dress.
bhow
by Bronze Member on Sep. 1, 2014 at 4:58 PM

no

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