Steven brought up a relative point to me. My neighbor asked if I could keep my kids more queit at night and early in the morning. That their bedroom was in the dining room. There is a structural sound barrier in our apts. They have it so bedrooms are backed against your neighbors' kitchen, stairs and bathroom. I told her I would try to keep them quieter. They can get loud especially my oldest with how he talks. But Steven said, "I wonder why she didnt tell me about it, since she saw me yesterday?" I said it is probably cause you are a man and there is a more common thread between us because we are both mother of young children. That got me thinking as women if we had the choice would we rather discuss an issue with the man in the moment or wait to discuss it with the woman and does your race play a factor.