hope this is allowed here.
one of my friends left our due date group because there's a mainstream mom in there who only visits the group when she has new "research" (only when it's convenient and against any AP ideals, usually) to post or when she wants to offer her CIO advice or Marc Weissbluth's baby sleep book.
this other mom posted something about the MMR vax and the autism link (the study that was debunked in a trial) and it just got kind of dramatic.
I hate whenever I see that mom in the group, because she only stirs up stuff and then pulls the "this group is supposed to be for support, not bashing" card, especially when she talked about letting her poor 6 month old CIO. rawrrhghghgh!!!
Kathryn
I'm a breastfeeding (and child-led weaning), babywearing, bed-sharing, anti-CIO, anti-Babywise/ anti-baby training, cloth and disposable diaper using, gentle grace-based disciplining, Southern born and raised, Native American (Potawatomi), Christian, Libertarian, lactivist, attached parent and loving wife to Clay and mommy to Eleanor Yvonne (born 3-30-09) who is going to be ERF in her MyRide 65 until she's 40 pounds.
well, if it's just a 'due date' group and not AP related, then her views on CIO, Vaccinations, and whatever else are merited and shouldn't be bashed. Not everyone parents the same way, and even if you don't agree, it's her right to raise her kids how she wants. She may purposely point out her disapproval of AP style of parenting, but as the saying goes "to each their own". SHe shouldn't be bashed because she does it different.
Just my 2C
Ah hahah. Yes, venting is totally allowed in here. We just have to obey the Cafemom TOS which says we can't specify WHICH group or give out specific names. :)
Are people allowed their own opinions? Sure! But seriously, mainstream groups can be painful to read because mainstream parenting teaches that the successful parent is the one whose child is quiet and doesn't interfere unless they're told it's "time" for a certain action. You know, inconveniences to be managed.
Some of the parenting really breaks my heart for the babies they're discussing because it's just so COLD and careless. Not to mention, a lot of stuff is just disgustingly uninformed.
I think that APers care a lot about the baby's well-being, NOT the mom's (who is a grown up and should be a little self-sacrificing for the life she's created) and this is seen as us being "holier than thou" or even bashing... but it's not. It's just... we realize we're responsible for the lives we've brought into this world and willing to forgo a hair appointment if we need to instead of leaving a screaming child with a stranger.
(WHAT the hell is with people DYING to feed these little babies as much junk food as humanly possible right now?!?!)
I get irritated at the pure ignorance of some people's decisions, but there is nothing I can do but try to educate and inform. i am not the parents of their children, they are. AP parenting works for some, but not for others. like everything in life, people do things differently. parenting is one of those things. instead of insulting others and slamming our opinions down others throats we should educate and support even through our differences. i have noticed that i have learned a lot raising my now 3 year old that made me do things differently with kai (6 months). i know a lot of us are veteran parents and we are where we are today through knowledge and experience. at least we have this group of like minded people though :)
Quoting Bonnie61405:
mmm I think I know which group you are talking about and feel your frustration!!!!! Sometimes I get mad at the parents but now I just feel sorry for their kids ;( People that are so defensive are usually so because they feel guilty some way or another...
yes, yes, and yes! you do know the DDG ;) I've seen you in there before. lol. It's so hard for me to keep my mouth shut, but I saw what they did to my friend (a former admin of the group).
Kathryn
It makes more sense to cultivate wonderful adult skills than the traits that make kids easy to take care of~ Stephanie Pearl-McPhee
Quoting Bonnie61405:People that are so defensive are usually so because they feel guilty some way or another...
YES. I have NEVER seen this to not be true. It kills me!
I've made serious mistakes in the past, but I fully admit to them and am GLAD that I learned better. I also do things now that I could do a lot better and I ADMIT to it and also admit that it IS something I'm NOT doing to the best of my ability. No guilt.
Quoting RanaAurora:
I also do things now that I could do a lot better and I ADMIT to it and also admit that it IS something I'm NOT doing to the best of my ability. No guilt.
I'm admitting I don't clean my house near as much as I should, and I leave dinner dishes in the sink til the next morning.
LOL
Question of the Day 11/12/10
- Kat770
on Feb. 6, 2010 at 10:09 PM