Why do you think AP is so criticized?
Is it only because it breaks the mainstream idea of what is the best way to parent a child? People who criticize me almost seem threatened by my parenting decisions! I could be wrong but I cant help but feel it comes from some feeling of guilt. I feel my father hassles me because he feels I am in some way stating I am a better parent then him...Which is in no way true! If you truly believe you are making the best parenting decisions then you wouldn't be so defensive and harsh towards other options....Right?
From the people who have gotten into it with me, it's because they think that we let our children run wild and we're lazy.
Co-sleeping until the child is emotionally ready? "Proposterous! You're the parent, you MAKE them do it! They're ready when YOU say they are! You'll have a 10 year old in your bed!"
Wearing a baby? "You'll make them spoiled. They need to learn that they can't be held all the time."
Etc.
Essentially, people don't understand that people are AP because they are in tune with their children and want to work with them accord to ability and readiness, rather than the common fights-turned-power plays over EVERY SINGLE THING (potty-training, weaning from a bottle/pacifier, CIO, etc.). For people who don't actually know anything about AP, they hear "child-led" and think that we let our children run amok.
Of course, WE all know that's completely untrue, and in fact, it's been my experience that AP parents usually have some of the best behaved children, but that's the misconception.
I think you are head on Ranna! People dont understand the aspects of AP and how beneficial they are. They see it as a negative aspect instead of positive. Why does our society have such a sad view as to how a child should be treated......;( Oh well...people can continue to criticize me...I know I am doing what is best for my family! I have always been the person who never follows the flow of the crowd...so I am getting used to be looked at as weird! Hahaha
Well fortunately, almost all AP parenting is factually-backed. It makes it easy to "argue" because you can show people facts AND point out that it's obvious they don't actually understand attachment.
Oh my. Really? That's ridiculous. Doesn't EVERY generation try to do better than their parents anyway?
I'm fortunate that my parents are factually-driven and don't usually question me, and when they do, they believe me. My dad still irritates me from time to time with "He's not STILL doing ____ is he?" questions, but I can roll my eyes and ignore him. They also live nowhere near me.
Now, my husband's relatives... they're just... special. We fortunate they're NOWHERE near us and that the phone call last night from them was the first in 5 years. They're kind of insane.
Lol, I don't care what people say. I know what's best for my children and I don't have to explain my decisions to anyone....and guess what? I have two extremely smart, well behaved boys :)
Good heavens, I am SO glad that I've NEEEEVER been questioned, or bashed about my parenting choices. Seriously- NEVER. I dunno... maybe because I just don't get out enough? LOL
I'm wracking my brain trying to think of something that might have been said out of the way towards me and the only thing I can come up with is that a few years ago when my now 5 year old was much smaller and new to walking we went to a store and he wanted to walk, so I let him walk while I held his hand, and some woman said "Oh my god I can't believe you're making that baby walk". My response was "he WANTS to walk, why would I carry him if he WANTS to walk?"
Sorry, guess I just don't want to strain my back, and be kicked, hit, pulled, and pinched just to do what "I" want to do, kwim? If he didn't want to walk, I"d carry him LOL
This was before I knew anything about baby wearing too.
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Question of the Day 11/12/10
- Bonnie61405
on Feb. 27, 2010 at 11:26 PM