So, I hardly ever get on cafemom anymore. My son is nine months old now and he's walking, he's into everything and I have a roommate who's messier than me. So I hardly keep up! I also moved back in with my parents, though thats not new. My husband deployed about four months ago, and that's when I moved in with them. I've been ECing since Jude was three months old and he sometimes just doesn't make any signs or straight up refuses to go where I would prefer he go. Lately he just can't stand being in a bathroom. Or any confined space. So, public restrooms are almost a nonoption. As soon as I shut the door to a bathroom he just starts screaming. If I can't get him to calm down and pee, he'll choose to pee on me, or on the floor, where ever he is as soon as he relaxes elsewhere. And he also pees sometimes without warning at home, and it's my parents house, so I constantly feel judged. People always want to know "how often do you miss?" I hardly ever get credit for all the catching I do. And if my mom is there, she'll be sure to chime in about how he hardly makes any signs. makes me feel like I'm crazy for trying. Or like, there isn't really any science to it, and she just attributes any catches I do make, with luck. I feel really under appreciated and worn out. Especially now that he's going on strike. I'm at a loss what to do, besides putting him back in diapers, or only being outdoors so it doesn't matter =P Plus he has two bottom teeth which he's started biting me with. I can't stand seeing him cry when I tell him no and set him on the ground. He always looks so shocked and sad, and he inevitably does it again, whether an hour later or a day later. How do I get him to stop without feeling so...un-attached? Thanks in advance, if you read this. I appreciate any support that comes my way.
well I have no help with the EC'ing as this is the first time I have heard of it... as for the biting... you just have to keep doing what you are doing and dont give in...put him down sternly say we dont bite mommy and walk away... and dont give in...
I don't do put-downs for the biting; I just pull her in closer to my breast which cuts off her air through her nose, which causes her to unlatch. It is less upsetting for both of us than me putting her down mid-feed, but it gets my point across.
As for the ECing... I wish I could help. But I honestly feel attached enough with BF, that I didn't give a whole lot of consideration to EC. Have you found any local moms who EC? Maybe an EC playdate would make you feel better; surely other moms face the same issues!
http://www.diaperfreebaby.org/texas.htm?&MMN_position=206:206
I guess I didnt explore other options cause it only took us one time and the biting never happened again...
I think you should refocus what the entire point of EC is - COMMUNICATION. It's not about getting him to go where you want him to go. It's not about impressing other people. You can't get a 9 month old to understand why you want him to go in a place that makes him feel uncomfortable so there's no point in that. It makes him uncomfortable and that is understandable. I don't like public restrooms either! Put him in diapers and refocus on the communication aspect of EC. You can always take a diaper off to do a catch. I always used dipes while doing EC...cloth dipes but dipes not the less.
As far as the biting, putting him down and saying no isn't very effective for most people. What really works instead of pulling him off you, push him into you. He'll immediately release. He may do it once or twice again but will quickly learn that it doesn't work since you are pushing him into you.
Putting a child down and saying no is the method that I and most people I know HAVE found most effective, actually, and it seems that it's getting the reaction in the short-run, but not the teaching. I strongly dislike the "pulling them into you" method, but hey, if it works, it works, right? Also make sure that you don't help or do anything related that he finds funny. Even a stern "no biting, that HURTS" can be enough (babies read the tone, not the words, but still).
As far as EC, I don't really know what to tell you or than maybe use a sink or something else at home so he's not uncomfortable in the bathroom?
Question of the Day 11/12/10
- Strelitzia
on Mar. 31, 2010 at 11:57 PM