Anyone else going through this?

[LoveLaurenRenee]

After Lolli was born, I knew I wanted to give her a sibling ASAP.  We started TTC when she was 3 months old, but I didn't even get my period back until she was 8.5 months old (due to breastfeeding), and didn't conceive until she was 13 months old.  So my dreams of having my kids be 14 months apart were over with, but it turned out that their 22 month age difference hasn't been too bad because Poppy likes to act like a big kid even if she isn't really one ;)

So anyway, I was in less of a hurry to have another child after Poppy was born.  I didn't really get the baby fever until she was about 6 months old.  So around then we started TTC.  Well, now she's 12.5 months old and I still haven't gotten my period back (nor am I pregnant).  It's hitting me pretty hard that the age gap between Poppy and the next one will be even bigger than the one between Lo and Pop.  We're trying to get our baby-making days behind us sooner than later, yet we want 1 or 2 more kids.

I'm really struggling with this, because I feel so stuck.  I just can't make the decision to wean Poppy because of a child that doesn't yet exist.  Plus I asked Dr. Soper's NP how long it would take my fertility to return if I force-weaned Poppy, and she said between one and SIX months.  Which means I could be weaning her early for nothing, and I won't do that.

I also talked to the NP about possible medications to trigger ovulation for me, and she said there's nothing, I guess because it isn't indefinite infertility.  I've been taking Vitex for several months, I've quit pumping when I'm away from Poppy (which was 12 hours a day for 2 weeks straight!), I try to distract her from nursing as much as possible, I offer her cow's milk and soy milk like it's going out of style, but none of it seems to be helping.  I'm super frustrated with this "hurry up and wait" thing.   I bought a bagillion OPKs (cheap, in bulk) and I pee on one each day because it makes me feel like I'm being proactive, but I have yet to get a positive.  I'm a planner, and breastfeeding is screwing up my plans!  Which sucks, because as most of you know, BFing is one of my favorite things in the whole world.

I'm keeping focused on the positive and being thankful for the kids I already have, who mean the world to me; we've been so fortunate!  And I know I shouldn't whine if I'm not willing to do something about it (wean Poppy), but that's such a rock-and-a-hard place thing for me.  Thanks for letting me bitch for a minute.  This is weighing very heavily on my heart and mind.  I try not to talk to DH about it too much because he gets stressed out by me being stressed out, plus he gets sick of talking about BFing and pregnancy since those are kind of my favorite topics :)  

If you guys could send me some AF vibes I'm really appreciate it!!! <3  Anyone else going through this?

[Kat770]

well, my situation is different... Eleanor is 16.5 months and I still haven't gotten AF.   And my DH isn't on board w// TTC.  :(

[MelanieLouise]

You sound just like me! I wanted to start TTC when my son was 9 months old, didn't conceive until he was 13 months. Then I wanted to TTC when my daughter was about a year old, didn't conceive till she was 18 months old. The age gap we wanted isn't going to happen, but I'm so happy to be pregnant! Both of my kids BF, and we didn't wean at all to get pregnant.

I was drinking parsley infusions like crazy to get my period back, and after a month, it worked. Then I had to stop drinking coffee to finally conceive (caffeine keeps the fertilized egg from implanting).

Good luck!