Just introducing myself :)
Well, I thought I had written an introduction but I guess not!
Hi all, my name is Leah. I'm a SAHM of two boys. The oldest is just 3 years old and the youngest is 18months. I am married to Chris and he's the bread winner (aside from my little bit from babysitting).
I have always been a little bit crazy! Since I was little I remember freaking out, stressing out, getting sick, obsessing and analyzing about everything! I tried talking to my parents about it but we were in such a strict church setting that I didn't know how to say it and I don't think they knew how to understand, to be honest.
Now-a-days I steer clear from religion but I do believe in God and I do my best to follow my conscious and live an honest life. I still suffer from a lot of anxiety and some mild depression (if there is such a thing). I have a lot of obsessive thoughts and I am still constantly analyzing everything. I tend to feel like every moment that happens in life is a moment I have, literally, already thought about and I know just what I'll say and how I'll say it and if the situation responds this way then I'll respond that way, and so on and so on! It's totally crazy. I've tried some medication, Zoloft, but I felt all freaked out the whole time so I just stopped taking it, lol. I usually have a pretty bad physical reaction to all of this but lately I've been able to control that but I think it's turning into the opposite problem. I didn't eat a lot before because I'd be to nervous.. now that I have been forcing myself to eat, it's like all I want to do is eat.
Ugh, life is hectic and out of control on some days and some days it's too empty and my mind is over whelming. I am happy and I am happy with where my life is at. I just have no self motivation and I'm so in myself that I sometimes forget about other people. I really hate feeling so self absorbed but it's like I keep thinking, "If I could JUST find the solution to this problem THEN I'll be able to take care of everyone better", etc etc. It's ridiculous!
Okay, that's enough. That was more of a vent than an introduction, lol, BUT that's the real me... Thanks for this group. I appreciate it!