When Your Child Moves Away ( how to cope, good info)

[Dannille33]

I found this to be very interesting ... I know with anxiety and panic it's much harder  to deal with but this might help you out ... I hope !

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• It is normal to feel anxiety and a sense of loss.
• Get to know your child's roommates, new spouse, etc.
• Stay active and focus on making your life exciting.

You knew this day was going to come at some point in the future; you just didn’t think the future would get here so quickly. And now that your child is moving out of the house, you may have many new feelings to deal with. If your child is going off to college, you probably feel a sense of pride and happiness. But these feelings can quickly be replaced by a sense of anxiety. And while you may feel overjoyed for your child who is getting married and moving off to begin a life and family, you may also feel a sense of loss. The same may be true if your child is not getting married, but moving out on his own.

To make this transition easier for everyone involved, consider the following tips.

If your child is going off to school:

• Try to make arrangements to visit the school before school starts. While you are on campus, check out the classrooms, as well as the living environment. If you know exactly where your child will be living and spending his time, you’ll be less anxious.
• Just because your child is off to school doesn’t mean that all contact has to end. Kids, no matter what age, love to get mail, e-mail and packages. Send packages filled with your child’s favorite snacks and magazines. There’s a good chance your child won’t be able to find these goodies at school; and living on a tight budget means that magazines are an extravagance.
• Make an attempt to get to know your child’s roommates and new friends and, when possible, their families. If the school has parent weekends, go and visit and meet new friends. You’ll feel more comfortable knowing the kids your child is hanging out with.

If your child is getting married:

• Understand that your child is an adult now, and treat her like one. You may find that you have to bite your tongue a few times now and then, but most times it’s best to let your child learn some things on her own.
• Be supportive in your child’s choices of living arrangements, and share your experience or feelings when asked.
• Keep in mind that just because your child is getting married doesn’t mean that your family is shrinking. In fact, just the opposite is true. You have gained another child to love and many more people to add to your family (in-laws, cousins, aunts and uncles are now part of your extended family). Do all you can to make everyone welcome in your home, no matter what the occasion. A warm and welcoming environment will result in your children coming to visit often.

If your child is moving out to make a new home for himself:

• Much of what was said in the other 2 circumstances applies in this situation. You’ll probably want to see where your child will be living, and although it might not be your first choice, try to understand his thinking in making the decision.
• When possible, make a point to meet any and all roommates.
• Offer suggestions and help if asked—but don’t try to control the situation by taking action without being asked.

Once your child has moved out and is living on his own, take care of yourself. Now is a time to focus on you—doing those things that you may have had to put off while the children were at home. Staying active and making your life exciting can help you avoid the “empty-nest syndrome” that some people experience during this period. If you find that you are having a difficult time adjusting to the quietness in your home and your life, and that the emptiness seems overwhelming at times, talk with your health care provider, counselor or someone from your church. They are trained to help people just like you cope with these changes. This can be an exciting new stage of life—just make it so and enjoy!