DAY 1 Love is Patient day 1 - 10
http://www.cafemom.com/group/107789/forums/read/12480877/_The_Love_Dare?next=1#replies
DAY 2 Love is Kind
DAY 3 Love is Not Selfish
DAY 4 Love is Thoughtful
DAY 5 Love is Not Rude
DAY 6 Love is Not Irritable
DAY 7 Love Believes the Best
DAY 8 Love is Not Jealous
DAY 9 Love Makes Good Impressions
DAY 10 Love is Unconditional
DAY 11 Love Cherishes day 11 - 20
http://www.cafemom.com/group/107789/forums/read/12480877/_The_Love_Dare?next=11#replies
DAY 12 Love Lets the Other Win
DAY 13 Love Fights Fair
DAY 14 Love Takes delight
DAY 15 Love is Honorable
DAY 16 Love Intercedes
DAY 17 Love Promotes Intimacy
DAY 21 Love is Satisfied in God day 21 - 30
http://www.cafemom.com/group/107789/forums/read/12480877/_The_Love_Dare?next=21#replies
DAY 22 Love is Faithful
DAY 23 Love Always Protects
DAY 24 Love vs. Lust
DAY 25 Love Forgives
DAY 26 Love is Responsible
DAY 27 Love Encourages
DAY 28 Love Makes Sacrifices
DAY 29 Love's Motivation
DAY 30 Love Brings Unity
DAY 31 Love and Marriage day 31- 40
http://www.cafemom.com/group/107789/forums/read/12480877/_The_Love_Dare?next=31#replies
DAY 32 Love meets sexual needs
DAY 33 Love Completes Each Other
DAY 34 Love Celebrates Godliness
DAY 35 Love is Accountable
DAY 36 Love is God's Word
DAY 37 Love Agrees in Prayer
DAY 38 Love Fulfills Dreams
DAY 39 Love Endures
DAY 40 Love is a Covenant
This forty day journey cannot be taken lightly.
It is a challenging and often difficult process, but an incredibly fulfilling one. To take this dare requires a resolute mind and a steadfast determination.
It is not meant to be sampled or briefly tested, and those who quit early will forfeit the greatest benefits. If you will commit to a day at a time for forty days, the results could change your life, and your marriage.
Consider it a dare, from others who have done it before you.
---http://thelovedarebook.com/love-dare-sample-chapter.pdf
DAY 31
Love and Marriage
A man shall leave his father and his mother, and be joined to his wife; and they shall become one flesh.
– Genesis 2:24
TODAY'S DARE
Is there a "leaving" issue you haven't been brave enough to conquer yet? Confess it to your spouse today, and resolve to make it right. The oneness of your marriage is dependent upon it. Follow this with a commitment to your spouse and to God to make your marriage the top priority over every other human relationship.
May they all be one, as You, Father, are in Me and I am in You. (John 17:21 HCSB)
Background:
"A man shall leave his father and his mother, and be joined to his wife; and they shall become one flesh." -Genesis 2:24
This verse is God's original blueprint for how marriage is supposed to work. It involves a tearing away and a knitting together. It reconfigures existing relationships while establishing a brand new one. Marriage changes everything. That is why couples who do not take this "leaving" and "cleaving" message to heart will reap the consequences down the line, when the problems are much harder to repair without hurting someone.
"Leaving" means you break a natural tie. Your parents step into the role of counselors to be respected, but can no longer tell you what to do. Sometimes the difficulty comes from the original source-a parent may not be ready to release you from their control and expectations. Whether through unhealthy dependence or inner struggles over the empty nest, parents do not always take their share of this responsibility. In such cases, the grown child has to make "leaving" a courageous choice of his own. Far too often this break is not made in the right way.
Are you and your spouse still living with some unresolved issues because of a failure to cut the apron strings? Do either of your parents continue to create problems within your home-perhaps without their even knowing it? What needs to happen to put a stop to this before it creates too wide of a division in your marriage?
Unity is a marriage quality to be guarded at great cost. The purpose of "leaving" is not to abandon, but to preserve the unique oneness that marriage is designed to capture. Only in oneness can you become what God means for you to be.
"Cleaving" carries the idea of catching someone by pursuit, clinging to them as your rock and safety. As a result of this essential practice, you are free to become everything God meant when you declared you "one flesh."
-You are able to achieve oneness in your decision making.
-You are able to achieve oneness in your priorities, even though you have different backgrounds.
-You are able to achieve oneness in your sexual affections toward each other, even if either or both of you have memories of impurity in your pre-maritial past.
God's decision to make you "one flesh" in marriage can make anything possible.
If this is not how things are going on in your home, you're unfortunately the majority. It's not out of character for couples to ignore God's design for marriage, thinking they know better. Genesis 2:24 may sound nice and noble in vows, but as a principle to be put in place and practiced, just seems too difficult.
It's extremely hard when the pursuit of oneness is one sided. Your spouse may not be interested in recapturing the unity you had at first. Even if their is desire on his or her part, there may still be some issues between you that are nowhere close to being resolved.
But if you'll continue to keep passion for oneness forefront in your mind and heart, your relationship over time will begin to reflect the inescapable "one flesh" design that is printed on its DNA. You don't have to go looking for it, it's already there, but you do have to live it, or there is nothing else to expect but disunity.
Leave and cleave. And dare to walk as one.
http://www.klove.com/blog/post/2010/02/05/Love-Dare-Day-31.aspx
Day # 31 Love and Marriage - Eric & Jennifer
http://www.cafemom.com/group/91291/forums/read/11303036/Love_Dare_31
DAY 32
Love meets Sexual Needs
The husband must fulfill his duty to his wife, and likewise also the wife to her husband.
– 1 Corinthians 7:3
TODAY'S DARE
If at all possible, try to initiate sex with your spouse today. Do this in a way that honors what your spouse has told you (or implied to you) about what they need from you sexually. Ask God to make this enjoyable for both of you as well as a path to greater intimacy.
How beautiful and delightful you are, my love.
(Song of Solomon 7:6)
Background:
Some people think the Bible has nothing good to say about sex, as though all God seems concerned with is telling us when not to do it and who not to do it with. In reality however, the Bible has a great deal to say about sex and the blessing it can be for both husband and wife. Even its boundaries and restrictions are God's way of keeping our sexual experiences at a level far beyond any of those advertised on television or the movies.
In Christian marriages, romance is meant to thrive and flourish. After all, it was created by God. It's all part of celebrating what God has given, becoming one with our mate while simultaneously pursuing purity and holiness. He delights in us when this happens.
The song of Solomon, for example, though frequently misunderstood as nothing more than an allergory about God's passion for His people, is actually a beautiful love story. It describes sexual acts between husband and wife in poetic detail, showing how each one responds to the other. It expresses how honesty and understanding in sexual matters lead to a life of confident love together.
It's true that sex is only one aspect of marriage. But as time goes by, one of you will likely value it's importance more highly than the other. As a result of this, the nature of your oneness as man and wife will feel threatened and endangered.
Again the biblical foundations of marriage were originally expressed in the creation of Adam and Eve. She was made to be "a helped suitable for him"(Genesis 2:18). The unity of their relationship and physical bodies was so strong, they were said to become "one flesh" (Genesis 2:24).
This same oneness is hallmark of every marriage. In the act of romance, we join our hearts to each other in an expression of love that no other form of communication can match. That's why "the marriage bed is to be unfiled" (Hebrews 12:4). We are not to share this same experience with anyone else.
But we are weak. And when this legitimate need goes unmet-when it's treated as being selfish and demanding by the other-our hearts are subject to being drawn away from marriage, tempted to fulfill this longing somewhere else, some other way.
To counteract this tendency, God established marriage with a "one flesh" mentality. "The wife does not have authority over her own body, but the husband does; and likewise also the husband does not have authority over his own body, but the wife does" (1 Corinthians 7:4).
Sex is not to be used as a bargaining chip. It is not something God allows us to withhold without consequence. Though there can be abuses to this divinely designed framework, the heart of marriage is one of giving ourselves to each other to meet the other's needs.
Sex is one God-given opportunity to do that.
SO "stop depriving one another," the Bible warns, "except by agreement for a time, so that you may devote yourselves to prayer, and come together again so that Satan will not tempt you because of your lack of self-control" (1 Corinthians 7:5)
You are are one person called and designated by God to meet your spouses sexual needs. If you allow distance to grow between you in this area, if you allow staleness to set in, you are taking what rightly (and exclusively) belongs to your spouse. If you let your spouse know-by actions, words, or in actions-that sex needn't be any more than you want it to be, you rob from them a sense of honor and endearment that has been set in place by a biblical mandate. You violate the "one flesh" unity of marriage.
So, whether you perceive yourself as being deprived, or you will admit to depriving the other, know that God's plan for you is to meet in the middle and come to a place of agreement.
Love is the only way to reestablish loving union between each other. When the love of Christ is the foundation of your marriage, the strength of your friendship and sexual relationship can be enjoyed at a level this world can never know.
http://www.klove.com/blog/post/2010/02/06/Love-Dare-Day-32.aspx
Day #32 -Love meets sexual needs - Jennifer
http://www.cafemom.com/group/91291/forums/read/11303052/Love_Dare_32
DAY 33
Love Completes Each Other
If two lie down together they keep warm, but how can one be warm alone?
-- Ecclesiastes 4:11
TODAY'S DARE
Recognize that your spouse is integral to your future success. Let them know today that you desire to include them in your upcoming decisions, and that you need their perspective and counsel. If you have ignored their input in the past, admit your oversight and ask them to forgive you.
Background:
God creates marriage by taking a man and a woman and uniting them as one. And although love must be willing to act alone if necessary, it is always better when it is not just a solo performance. Love can function on its own if there is no way, but there is a "more excellent way" (1 Corinthians 12:31). And love dares not to stop loving before it gets there.
This "completing" aspect of love was revealed to mankind from the beginning. God originated the human race with a male and a female-two similar but complementary designs meant to function in harmony.
Our bodies were made for each other. Our natures and temperaments provide balance, enabling us to more effectively complete the tasks at hand. Our oneness can produce children, and our teamwork can best raise them to health and maturity. Where one is weak the other is strong. When one needs building up, the other is equipped to enhance and encourage. We multiply one another's joys and divide one another's sorrows.
The scriptures say "Two are better than one because they have a good return for their labor. For if either of them falls, the one will lift up his companion. But woe to the one who falls when there is not another to lift him up" (Ecclesiastes 4:9-10). It's like your two hands, which don't just coexist together but multiply the effectiveness of the other. In order to do what they do, neither is quite complete without the other.
Although our differences can frequently be the source of misunderstanding and conflict, they have been created by God and can be ongoing blessings if we respect them.
One of you may be better at cooking, while the other is more thorough in cleaning the dishes. One may be more gentle and able to keep peace among family members, while the other handles discipline more directly and effectively. One may have a good business head but needs the other to help him remember to be generous.
When we learn to accept these distinctions in our mate, we can bypass criticism and go straight to helping and appreciating one another.
But some can not seem to get past their partners differences. They suffer many wasted opportunities as a result. They do not take advantage of the uniqueness that makes each of them more effective when including the other.
One such example from the Bible is Pontius Pilate, the Roman governor who presided over the trial of Jesus. Unaware of who Christ was and against his better judgment, he allowed the crowd to influence him into crucifying Jesus.
But the one person who was more sensitive to what was really happening was Pilate's wife, who came to him at the height of the uproar and warned him he was making a mistake. "While sitting on the judgment seat, his wife sent him a message saying, 'Have nothing to do with that righteous man; for last night I suffered greatly in a dream because of him'" (Matthew 27:19).
She was apparently a woman of keen discernment who grasped the magnitude of these events before her husband did. Certainly, God's sovereignty was at work, and nothing would have kept his Son from marching obediently to the cross for us. But Pilate's dismissal of his wife's intuition reveals an unfortunate side of man's nature that is often downplayed. God made wives to complete their husbands, and He gives them insight that in many cases is kept from their men. If this discernment is ignored, it is often to the detriment of the man making the decision.
The effectiveness of your marriage is dependent upon both of you working together. Do you have big decisions to make about your finances or retirement planning? Are you having a real problem with a coworker who's getting harder and harder to deal with, and are you grappling with the appropriate action to take? Are you absolutely convinced that your educational choices for your children are right, no matter what your spouse thinks?
Don't try doing all the analysis yourself. Don't disqualify his or her right to voice an opinion on matters that effect both of you. Love realizes that God has put you together on purpose. And though you may wind up disagreeing with your spouse's perspectives, you should still give their views respect and strong consideration. This honor's God's design for your relationship and guards the oneness He intends.
Joined together, you are greater than your independent parts. You need each other. You complete each other.
http://www.klove.com/blog/post/2010/02/07/Love-Dare-Day-33.aspx
Day #33 - Love Completes Each Other- Jennifer
http://www.cafemom.com/group/91291/forums/read/11303067/Love_Dare_33
DAY 34
Love Celebrates Godliness
[Love] does not rejoice in unrighteousness, but rejoices with the truth.
– 1 Corinthians 13:6
TODAY'S DARE
Find a specific recent example when your spouse demonstrated Christian character in a noticeable way. Verbally commend them for this at some point today.
I will walk within my house in the integrity of my heart.
(Psalm 101:2)
Background:
From the moment you close your Bible in the morning nearly everything else you'll encounter throughout the day will be luring you from its truths. The opinions of your coworkers, the news coverage on television, your typical web sites, the various temptations of the day-all of these and more will be working overtime to shape your perceptions of what's true and most desirable in life.
They'll say that having a knockout wife who dresses to get other men's attention is a good thing. They'll say that bad language and immorality in the movies are fine for mature people. They'll say that church isn't important in a person's life. They'll say that we each must find God in our own way.
They'll say a lot of things. And they'll say them so loudly and frequently that if we are not careful, we can start believing that what they say is the way things should be. We can begin valuing what everyone else values and thinking the way everyone else does.
But the meaning of "real life" changes dramatically when we understand God's word is the ultimate expression of what real life is. The teachings it contains are not just good guesses at what should matter. They are principles that reflect the way things really are, the way God created life to be. His ideals and instructions are the only pathways to real blessing, and when we see people follow them in obedience to the Lord, it should cause us to rejoice.
What makes you the proudest of your husband? Is it when he comes home with a trophy from the company golf tournament, or when he gathers the family before bedtime to pray together and read the word?
What overjoys you the most in your wife? Is it seeing her try a new painting technique in the children's bedrooms, or seeing her forgive the neighbor whose dog dug up her plants?
You are one of the most influential people in your spouse's life. Have you been using that influence to lead them to honor God, or to dishonor Him?
Love rejoices most in the things that please God. When your mate is growing in Christian character, preserving in faith, seeking purity, and embracing roles of giving and service-becoming spiritually responsible for your home-the Bible says we should be celebrating it.
The apostle Paul wrote how delighted he was to hear reports of the people's faithfulness and growth in Jesus. (2 Thessalonians 1:3-4).
The apostle John who had walked closely with Jesus became one of the main leaders in the early church and once wrote to his flock "I have no greater joy than this, to hear of my children walking in the truth" (3 John 4).
That should be what energizes us when we see it happening in our mate. More than when they save money on the grocery bill. More than when they achieve success at work. Sometimes by accepting modern culture's take on what to applaud in our spouse, we can even be guilty of encouraging them to sin-perhaps by feeding their vanity, or by letting boys be boys.
But love does not rejoice in unrighteousness. Not in ourselves and not in our mates. Rather love "rejoices with the truth" the way Paul did in Romans 16:19. He knew that the pursuit of Godliness, purity and faithfulness was the only way for them to find joy and ultimate fulfillment.
Be happy for any success your spouse enjoys. But save your heartiest congratulations for those times when they are honoring God with their worship and obedience.
http://www.klove.com/blog/post/2010/02/08/Love-Dare-Day-34.aspx
Day #34- Love Celebrates Godliness - Jennifer
http://www.cafemom.com/group/91291/forums/read/11303089/Love_Dare_34
DAY 35
Love is Accountable
Plans fail for lack of counsel, but with many advisers they succeed.
– Proverbs 15:22
TODAY'S DARE
Find a marriage mentor - someone who is a strong Christian and who will be honest and loving with you. If you feel that
In abundance of counselors there is victory.
(Proverbs 11:14)
Background:
Mighty sequoia trees tower hundreds of feet in the air and can withstand intense environmental pressures. Lightning can strike them, and forest fires can rage around them. But the sequoia endures standing firm, only growing stronger through the trials.
One of the secrets of the sequoia what goes on below the surface. Unlike many trees, they reach out and interlock their roots with the sequoias around them. Each becomes empowered and reinforced by the strength of the others. The secret to a healthy marriage is to interlock like the sequoias. A couple that faces problems alone is more likely to fall apart during rough time. The ones who interlock their lives in a network of other strong marriages radically increase their chances of surviving the fiercest of storms. It is crucial for a husband and wife pursue godly advice, healthy friendships and experienced mentors.
Everyone needs wise council throughout life. Wise people constantly seek it and gladly receive it. Fools never ask for it and then ignore it when it is given.
Getting wise counsel is like having a detailed map and guide while traveling on a long journey. It can be the difference between continual success or the destruction of another marriage. It is vital that you invite strong couples to share the wisdom they have gained through their own successes and failures.
Why waste years of your life learning painful lessons when you could discover the same truths during a few hours of wise counsel? Good marriage mentors warn you before you make a bad decision. They encourage you when you are ready to give up. And they cheer you on as you reach new levels of intimacy in your marriage.
You and your spouse need the type of friends who you can turn to for advice, support, and for regular accountability check-ups, who shoots straight with you. The Bible says "encourage one another day after day....so that none of you will be hardened by the deceitfulness of sin" (Hebrews 3:13). Too often we can isolate ourselves from others. If we are not careful, we could push away the people who love us the most.
You must guard yourself against the wrong influences. Everyone has an opinion and some people will encourage you to act selfishly and leave your mate in order to pursue your own happiness. Be careful about listening to advice from people who do not have a good marriage themselves.
If your marriage is hanging by a thread or already headed for divorce, then you need to stop everything and pursue solid counseling as quickly as possible. Call a pastor, a Bible-believing counselor, or marriage ministry today. As awkward as it may be initially to open your life to a stranger, your marriage is worth every second spent and every sacrifice you will make for it. Even if your marriage is fairly stable, you are in no less need of honest, open mentors-people who can put wind in your sails and make your marriage even better.
How do you pick a good mentor?You look for a person who has the kind of marriage you want. You look for a person whose heart for Christ comes first before everything else. You look for someone who does not live by his or her opinions, but by the unchanging word of God. And more times than not, this person will be delighted you asked for help. Start praying for God to send this person into your life. Then pick a time to meet and talk.
If this doesn't sound important to you, it would be a good idea to ask yourself why. Do you have something to hide? Are you afraid of being embarrassed? Do you think your marriage is exempt from needing outside help? Does diving into a river of positive influence not appeal to you? Don't be the captain of another Titanic divorce by ignoring the warning signs around you when you could have been helped.
Here is an important reminder from scripture: "Each one of us will give an account of himself unto God" (Romans 14:12). This appointment is unbreakable. And though we are all ultimately responsible for the way we approach it, we can surely stand as much help as others can give. It might just be the relational influence that takes your marriage from mediocre to amazing.
http://www.klove.com/blog/post/2010/02/09/Love-Dare-Day-35.aspx
Day #35 - Love is Accountable - Jennifer & Eric
http://www.cafemom.com/group/91291/forums/read/11303095/Love_Dare_35
DAY 36
Love is God's Word
Your word is a lamp to my feet and a light to my path.
– Psalm 119:105
TODAY'S DARE
Commit to reading the
Whatever was written in earlier times was written for our instruction.
(Romans 15:4)
Background:
For some people the Bible just seems too big to understand. Its like an impossible challenge. They do not know where or how to begin. But as a Christian you are not left alone to try to grasp the major themes and deep meanings of the Bible. The Holy Spirit who lives in your heart is an illuminator of truth. "For the Spirit searches all things, even the depths of God" (1 Corinthians 2:10). And because of his internal lamp, the Scriptures are now yours to read, absorb, comprehend and live by. But first you have got to commit to do it.
Be in it. If this is not already a habit of yours, now is the time to begin reading a portion of the Bible every day. Ideally read it together as husband and wife. In the morning perhaps, or before bed. Be like the writer of Psalm 119, who could say "with all my heart I have sought You...Your word I have treasured in my heart, that I may not sin against You" (Psalm 119:10-11).
Those who practice a consistent pattern of reading the Bible soon discover it to be "more desirable than gold, yes than much fine gold; sweeter also than honey and the drippings of honeycomb" (Psalm 19:10).
Stay under it. You are right the Bible can be deep and challenging. That is why it is so important to be part of a church where the word of God is faithfully taught and preached. By hearing it explained in sermons and Bible study classes, you will get a broader, more balanced view of what God is saying through His word. You'll also get to join with others who are on the same journey you are, wanting to be fed by the truths of Scripture.
Live it. Unlike most other books, which are only designed to be read and digested, the Bible is a living book. It lives because the Holy Spirit still resonates within its words. It lives because, unlike the ancient writings of other religions, its Author is still alive. And it lives because it becomes a part of who you are, how you think, and what you do.
Jesus talked about people who build their lives on sand - their own logic, their best guesses, the latest reasoning. When the storms of life begin to blow (which they always do) foundations of sand will only result in disaster. Their houses may light up and look nice for a while, but they are tragedies waiting to happen. Ultimately they collapse.
But Jesus said "everyone who hears these words of Mine and acts on them, may be compared to a wise man who built his house on a rock. The rain fell, the floods came, and the winds blew and slammed against the house; and yet it did not fall, for it had been founded on the rock" (Matthew 7:24-25). When your home is founded on the rock of God's unchanging Word, it is insured against destruction.
That is because God has the right plan for everything, and he has revealed these plans in His word. They are right there for anyone who will read and apply it.
God has a plan for the way you handle your money. A plan for the way you raise your children. A plan for the way you treat your body. A plan for the way you spend your time. A plan for the way you handle conflict. Isn't it just like your Maker to know exactly what you need?
If being a regular Bible reader is new for you, you will be surprised how quickly you'll begin thinking differently and more eternally. And if you are serious about establishing strategies for life based on God's way of doing things, He will guide you. Its an enlightening journey with discoveries to be made all the time.
Every aspect of your life that you submit to, God's principles will grow stronger and more long-lasting over time. But any part you withhold from him, choosing instead to try your own hand at it, will weaken and eventually fail when storms of life hit you. It may in fact, be the one area that hastens the downfall of your home and marriage.
Wise couples build their houses on the rock of God's Word. They've seen what sand can do. They know how it feels when their footing gets soft and the foundation gives way. That's why you must determine to build your life and marriage on the solid rock of the Bible, and then you can plan on a stronger future - no matter how bad the storms get.
http://www.klove.com/blog/post/2010/02/10/Love-Dare-Day-36.aspx
Day #36 - Love is God's Word - Eric & Jennifer
http://www.cafemom.com/group/91291/forums/read/11303110/Love_Dare_36
DAY 37
Love Agrees in Prayer
If two of you agree on earth about anything that they may ask, it shall be done
for them by May Father.
– Matthew 18:19
TODAY'S DARE
Ask your spouse if you can begin praying together. Talk about the best time to do this, whether it is in the morning, your lunch hour, or before bedtime. Use this time to commit your concerns, disagreements, and needs before the Lord. Don't forget to thank Him for his provision and blessing. Even if your spouse refuses to do this, resolve to spend this daily time in prayer yourself.
In the morning my prayer comes before You.
(Psalm 88:13)
Background:
If someone told you that by changing one thing about your marriage, you could guarantee with near 100 percent assurance that your life together would significantly improve, you would at least want to know what it was. And for many godly couples, that "one thing" is the daily practice of praying together.
To someone who tends to devalue spiritual matters, this sounds fairly ridiculous. And if told that shared prayer is a key ingredient in marital longevity and leads to a heightened sense of sexual intimacy, they would think you had really gone too far. But the unity that grows between a man and woman who regularly pray together forms an intense and powerful connection. Within the sanctity of your marriage, praying together can work wonders at every level of your relationship.
When you were joined together as husband and wife, God gave you a wedding gift - a permanent prayer partner for life. When you need wisdom on a certain decision, you and your prayer partner can seek God together for the answer. When you're struggling with your own fears and insecurities, your prayer partner can hold your hand and intercede on your behalf. When you and your spouse are not getting along and can not get past a particular argument or sticking point, you can call a time out, drop your weapons, and go with your partner into emergency prayer. It should become your automatic reflex action when you don't know what else to go.
It's hard to stay angry long with someone for whom you're praying. It's hard not to back down when you're hearing your mate humbly cry out to God and beg him for mercy in the midst of your heated crisis. In prayer, two people remember that God has made them one. And in the grip of his uniting presence, disharmony blends into beauty.
Praying for your spouse leads your heart to care more deeply about them. But more importantly, God is pleased when He sees you both humbling yourselves and seeking His face together. His blessing falls on you when you agree in prayer together. His blessings fall on you when you agree in prayer.
Agreeing in prayer, even in the midst of disagreeing pulls you both back toward your feel center. It places you on common ground, face-to-face before the Father. It restores harmony in the midst of contention.
The church - which in the Scripture has a marriage connotation with Christ - can sometimes be a place where conflict rules. The disharmony that can flare up over various matters can detail the church from its mission and disrupt the free flow of worship and unity. At times godly church leaders will see what is taking place, break off discussions, and call people of God to prayer. Instead of continuing the discord and allowing more feelings to be hurt, they will seek unity by turning their hearts back to God and appealing to Him for help.
The same thing happens in our homes when there is an intervention of prayer, even at high points of disagreement. It stops the bleeding. It quiets the loud voices. It pauses you as you realize whose presence you are in.
The prayer is for a lot more than breaking up fights. Prayer is a privilege to be enjoyed on a consistent daily basis. When you know that prayer time awaits you before going to bed, it will change the way you spend your evening. Even if your prayers together are typically short and to the point, this will become a standing appointment that you can orbit your day around, keeping God in the middle of everything.
It's true that beginning a habit like this can initially feel awkward and uncomfortable. Anything this powerful will surprise you with its weight and responsibility when you actually try doing it. But bear in mind that God wants you to engage with Him - invites you, in fact - and he will grow you as you take it seriously and push past those times when you don't know what to say.
You'll look back at this common thread that ran through everything from average Mondays to major decisions and be so thankful for this "one thing" that changed everything. This is one area where it is imperative that you agree to agree.
http://www.klove.com/blog/post/2010/02/11/Love-Dare-Day-37.aspx
Day # 37 - Love agrees in Prayer - Eric & Jennifer...
http://www.cafemom.com/group/91291/forums/read/11303132/Love_Dare_37
DAY 38
Love Fulfills Dreams
Delight yourself in the Lord; and He will give you the desires of your heart.
– Psalm 37:4
TODAY'S DARE
Ask yourself what your mate would want if it was obtainable. Commit to prayer, and start mapping out a plan for meeting some (if not all) of their desires, to whatever level you possibly can.
God is able to make all grace abound to you.
(2 Corinthians 9:8)
Background:
What is something your spouse would really, really love? And how often do you ask yourself that question?
Common sense tells us we can't give our wife or husband everything they might like. Our budgets and account balances tell us we probably can not afford it anyway. And even if we could, it might not be good for us or for them.
But perhaps you've let "no" become too quick a response. Perhaps you have let this negative default setting become too reasoned and rational, too automatic. What if instead of dismissing the thought, you did your best to honor it. What might happen if the one thing you said you'd never do for them became the next thing you did?
Love sometimes needs to be extravagant. To go all out. It sometimes needs to set aside the technicalities to just bless because it wants to.
Is that thinking too much like a teenager? Is love like this no longer on the menu after so many years of marriage? After all, with the way your relationship might be at the moment, wouldn't it be less than genuine to indulge your spouse if you heart's not in it?
Well, how about putting your heart in it. How about adopting a new level of love that actually wants to fulfill every dream and desire you possible can.
Hasn't God's love met needs in your heart that once seemed out of the question? You were living under such a load of sin and regret you thought you'd never earn your way back into his good graces. But He looked at you with love and said you didn't have to. He wanted you back. He wanted you to realize your need for Him, and that as you repented and turned to Him, He would love and forgive you.
You thought like was over when a certain setback took all the wind out of your sails. You broke down and cried out to Him. You prayed like you'd never prayed before. And though it wasn't easy getting back up and walking on, you somehow survived. He met you with His promised peace "which surpasses all comprehension" (Philippians 4:7) and kept you on your feet.
It wasn't when you were behaving like an angel that God chose to pour out His love on you. It wasn't because you were so deserving that He offered you His grace. "God demonstrates His own love toward us, in that while we were yet sinners, Christ died for us" (Romans 5:8).
He's your model. He's the One your love is designed to imitate. Though you were not a likely candidate for His love, He gave it anyway. He paid the price.
Not everything your spouse wants has a hefty price tag. Not everything he or she desires can be bought with money. Your wife may really want your time. She may really want your attention. She may really want to be treated like a lady, to know that her husband considers her his greatest treasure. She may really want to see in your eyes a love that chooses to be there no matter what.
Your husband may want your respect. He may really want you to acknowledge him as the head of the house in front of the children. He may really want you to put your arms around his neck for no apparent reason, surprising him with a long kiss or a love note when there is not even a birthday or anniversary to justify it. He may really need to know that you still think he is strong and handsome, the way you used to.
Dreams and desires come in all shapes and sizes, but love takes careful notice of each.
Love calls you to listen to what your mate is saying and hoping for.
Love calls you to remember the things that are unique to your relationship, the pleasures and enjoyments that bring a smile to the other's face.
Love calls you to give when it would be a lot more convenient to wait.
Love calls you to daydream about those opportunities so regularly that their desires become yours as well.
We dare you to think in terms of overwhelming your spouse with love. To surprise them by exceeding all expectations with your kindness. It may or may not be financial sacrifice, but it needs to reflect a heart that is willing to express itself with extravagance.
What is something your spouse would really, really love? It's time you started living out the answer to that question.
http://www.klove.com/blog/post/2010/02/12/Love-Dare-Day-38.aspx
Day #38 - Love Fullfills Dreams - Eric and Jennife...
http://www.cafemom.com/group/91291/forums/read/11303147/Love_Dare_38
DAY 39
Love Endures
Love never fails.
– 1 Corinthians 13:8
TODAY'S DARE
Spend time in personal prayer, then write a letter of commitment and resolve to your spouse. Include why you are committing to this marriage until death, and that you have purposed to love them no matter what. Leave it in a place that your mate will find it.
He delights in unchanging love.
(Micah 7:18)
Background:
Of all the times love dares to do, this is the ultimate. Love Endures. Though threatened, it keeps pursuing. Though challenged, it keeps moving forward. Though mistreated and rejected, it refuses to give up. Love never fails.
Many times when a marriage is in crisis, the spouse who is trying to make things work will go to the other, declaring in no uncertain terms that no matter what has happened in the past, he/she is committed to this marriage. Their love can be counted on to last. They promise. But not wanting to hear this yet, the other spouse holds their position. They still want out. They don't see this marriage lasting long-term. Nor do they even want it to anymore.
The partner who has just laid his or her heart on the line, extending the olive branch, can't handle rejection. So, they withdraw their statement. "fine. If that's the way you want it, that is the way it'll be."
But if love is really love, it doesn't waffle when it's not received the way you want it to be. If love can be told to quit loving, then it is not really love. Love that is from God is unending, unstoppable. If the object of its affection doesn't choose to receive it, love keeps giving anyway.
Love never fails.
Never.
That is what Jesus' love is like. His disciples were nothing if not unpredictable. After their final Passover meal together, when Jesus told them they would all forsake Him before the night was over, Peter declared, "Even though all may fall away because of You, I will never fall away....Even if I have to die with You, I will not deny You" (Matthew 26:33, 35) All the other disciples echoed the very same promise.
But later that night, Jesus' inner circle of followers, Peter, James, and John would sleep through Christs' agony in the garden. On the way to Christs' crucifixion, Peter would deny Him three times in the courtyard. But at that precise moment, the Bible says Jesus "turned and looked" at him (Luke 22:61). His men had failed him-again- within hours of their sworn promises. Yet, he never stopped loving them, because He and His love are "the same yesterday and today and forever" (Hebrews 13:8).
When you have done everything within your power to obey God, your spouse may still forsake you and walk away - just as Jesus' followers did to Him. But if your marriage fails, if your spouse walks away, let it not be because you gave up or stopped loving them.
Love never fails.
Of the nine "fruits of the Spirit" listed in Galatians 5, the first of all is love. And because the unchanging Holy Spirit is its source, the same Holy Spirit who dwells in the hearts of all believers, then the love He creates in you is unchanging as well. It is based on the will of God, the calling of God, and the Word of God, all unchanging things. The Bible declares them "irrevocable" (Romans 11:29). "Heaven and earth will pass away, but My words will not pass away" (Luke 21:33).
Only a few days ago you were Love Dared to build your marriage on the Word of God. That is because when all else fails, the truth of God will still be standing. Along the way you have also been dared to be patient, to be unselfish, to sacrifice for your mate's needs.
These are not just loving ideas, existing in isolation. Each quality of love outlined in this dare, is based on the love of God, captured and expressed in the Word of God. The unchanging Word of God. No challenge or circumstance can occur that will ever put an expiration date on Him or His love. Therefore, your love, made of the same substance, bears the same, unchanging characteristics.
Love Never Fails.
So today your dare is to put your unfailing love into the most powerful, personal words you can. This is your chance to declare that no matter what imperfections exist, both in you and your spouse, your love is greater still. No matter what they've done or how often they have done it, you choose to love them anyway. Though you've been far from steady in your treatment of them over the years, your days of being inconsistent in love are over. You accept this one man or woman as God's special gift to you, and you promise to love them until death.
You are saying to your spouse, "Even if you don't like what you're reading - even if you don't like me - I choose to love you anyway. Forever."
Because love never fails.
http://www.klove.com/blog/post/2010/02/13/Love-Dare-Day-39.aspx
Day #39- Love Endures - Jennifer
http://www.cafemom.com/group/91291/forums/read/11303166/Love_Dare_39
DAY 40
Love is a Covenant
Where you go, I will go, and where you lodge, I will lodge. Your people shall be my people, and your God, my God.
– Ruth 1:16
TODAY'S DARE
Write out a renewal of your vows and place them in your home. Perhaps, if appropriate, you could make arrangements to formally
He has remembered His covenant forever.
(Psalm 105:8)
Background:
Congratulations! You have reached the end of the Love Dare - the book. But the experience and challenge of loving your mate is something that never comes to an end. It goes on for the rest of your life.
This book ends at Day 40, but who says your dare has to stop? And as you view your marriage relationship from this point on, we challenge you to consider it a covenant instead of a contract. These two words sound similar in meaning and intent, but are in reality much different. Seeing marriage as a contract is like saying to your spouse, "I take you for me and we'll see if this works out." But realizing it as a covenant changes it to say, "I give myself to you and commit to this marriage for life."
There are many other differences between contracts and covenants. A contract is usually a written agreement based on distrust, outlining the conditions and consequences if broken. A covenant is a verbal commitment based on trust, assuring someone that your promise is unconditional and good for life. It is spoken before God out of love for another.
A contract is self-serving and comes with limited liability. It establishes a time frame for certain deliverables to be met and accomplished. A covenant is for the benefit of others and comes with unlimited responsibility. It has no expiration date. It is "till death do us part." A contract can be broken with mutual consent. A covenant is intended to be unbreakable.
The Bible contains several major covenants as part of the unfolding story of God's people. God made a covenant with Noah, promising never to destroy all flesh with a worldwide flood (Genesis 9:12-17). He made a covenant with Abraham, promising that an entire nation of descendants would come from his family line (Genesis 17:1-8). He made a covenant with Moses, declaring the people of Israel would be God's permanent possession (Exodus 19:3-6). He made a covenant with David, promising that a ruler would sit on his throne forever (2 Samuel 7:7-16). Ultimately He made a "new covenant" by the blood of Christ, establishing an unending, unchanging legacy of forgiven sins and eternal life for those who believe in Him (Hebrews 9:15). Never once has God broken any of these covenants.
And then there's marriage - the strongest covenant on earth between two people, the pledge of a man and a woman to establish a love that is unconditional and lasts a lifetime. In marriage, your wedding ring represents your covenant vows - not merely commitments you hoped to keep but premeditated promises, publicly spoken and witnessed by others.
As you've read numerous times throughout the dare, keeping this covenant is not something you can do in your own strength. There's good reason why God was the One who initiated covenants with His people. He alone is able to forgive the receivers of His covenant when they fail to uphold their part of the agreement. But the Spirit of God is within you by virtue of your faith in His Son and the grace bestowed upon you in salvation. That means you now can exercise your role as covenant keeper, no matter what may arise to challenge your faithfulness to it.
Especially if your spouse is not in a place of receiving your love right now, the act of covenant keeping can grow more daunting with each passing day. But marriage is not a contract with escape clauses and exception wordings. Marriage is a covenant intended to cut off all avenues of retreat or withdrawal. There's nothing in all the world that should sever what God has joined together. Your love is based on covenant.
Hundreds of years after the prophet Malachi recorded these words, people are still wondering why God withholds his hand of blessing at times from their homes and marriages. "You say, 'For what reason?' Because the Lord has been a witness between you and the wife of your youth, against whom you have dealt treacherously, though she is your companion and your wife by covenant...For I hate divorce, says the Lord, the God of Israel, and him who covers his garment with wrong, says the Lord of hosts, So take heed to your spirit, that you do not deal treacherously" (Malachi 2:14-16).
Every marriage is called to be an earthly picture of God's heavenly covenant with His church. It is to reveal to the world the glory and beauty of God's unconditional love for us. Let His words inspire you to be a channel of God's love to your spouse.
The time is now, man or woman of God, to renew your covenant of love in all sincerity and surrender. Love is too holy a treasure to trade in for another, and too powerful a bond to be broken without dire consequences. Fasten your love afresh on this one the Lord has given you to cherish, prize, and honor. Your life together is before you. Dare to take hold of it and never let go.
http://www.klove.com/blog/post/2010/02/14/Love-Dare-Day-40.aspx
Day # 40 - Love is A Convenant - Jennifer
http://www.cafemom.com/group/91291/forums/read/11303179/Love_Dare_40_FINAL_DAY
---CM-LETTER FROM A MOTHER TO A DAUGHTER:---
- JCTVCBN
on Oct. 13, 2010 at 3:49 PM