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---Breastfeeding Comebacks---

Posted by on Oct. 15, 2010 at 8:25 AM
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JCTVCBN
by Group Owner on Oct. 15, 2010 at 8:26 AM

http://www.breastfeeding.com/forums/showthread.php?t=178

Originally posted by Mrs.Robinson


"Responses to "Are you still nursing?"

"No, I'm not, my mother lives too far away. Jacob is, though."

"Of course! Nothing but the best for your grandson!" (or nephew or whatever)

"Yes, isn't it amazing? I am so glad he's not in a hurry to grow up"

"Yes, it's really been a life-saver, it is the only liquid he'll drink when he's not feeling well"

"Absolutely, isn't love a wonderful thing?"

"Yes!" (then hold up your hand expecting the other person to high-five you)

"Right now? No, he's over there playing. I need him to do it"

"I was never a nurse. I don't like needles! I'm an Accountant, remember?"

"Yes, his doctor is so thrilled. So many moms give up due to pressures of friends and family" (hint hint)

"Yes, and he's a real pro at it. I am so proud of him"

"Everyone asks that, it must be because he's so incredibly healthy" (not really answering, but it gets the point across that you aren't planning on answering)

"I get that question all the time. It is so great that people are looking out for him!" (again, not answering)

"Yes, he deserves the very best. He's such a good baby."

(for someone who continuously asks) "It is funny how people ask that, but then they don't really want to know"

(for someone who continuously asks) "Of course, I am glad you keep asking. It shows you want the best for him"

(and another for someone who is hounding you to no end) "do you really want to know this time? You didn't seem satisfied with my
answer last time."

Responses to "When are you planning on weaning?"

"I'm not. He'll wean me."

"Before he graduates"

"He hasn't told me yet."

"I haven't asked him yet. He doesn't really make plans for the future at this point. He just does things day to day"

"I don't know, I guess when my milk dries up" (confuse a person who has no clue about breastfeeding)

"I hope not for a while. We're both enjoying our time together"

"I don't know, when the puppies weaned, they were taken away from their mother. It doesn't seem like such a great thing to me"

(sometimes they ask, "when will you
start giving him cow's milk?") "Not sure, maybe if he starts thinking he is a calf"

"What, and get my PMS back? are you crazy?"

"I don't know. He seems to still enjoy it and I enjoy those extra 500 calories I burn"

"It is so hard to plan anything with a baby. We're just doing things day to day."

" We're in no rush, he has time to make up his own mind"

"Thanks for asking. Everyone seems to need an answer for that except for me and my child."

(and another for someone who is hounding you to no end) "It depends, when are you planning on asking me again?"
__________________
aka creme de christine
JCTVCBN
by Group Owner on Oct. 15, 2010 at 8:36 AM

http://www.ifbreastfeedingoffendsyou.org/2010/04/witty-comebacks-for-when-you-are.html

Witty comebacks for replying to breastfeeding harassment

Most breastfeeding moms have experienced it at least once. You're feeding your baby and some nosey stranger decides to insult you or ask you personal questions. Your meddlesome mother-in-law just has to share her opinion of everything you are doing wrong as a mom. Maybe your own husband is not fully supportive of your choice to feed your baby the way Mother Nature intended.

Here is a definitive list of comebacks and replies for all types of breastfeeding related harassment. Feel free to share your own comebacks in the comments section and we will add them!
"Are you still nursing?"


"Of course not! My mom weaned me a long time ago. My baby is though!"

"Absolutely, isn't it wonderful?"

"Right now? No, he's over there playing."

"I was never a nurse."

"Yes, his doctor is so thrilled. So many moms give up due to pressures of rude friends and family."

"Everyone asks that, it must be because he's so incredibly healthy."

"Yes, he deserves only the very best. "

"Of course, I am glad you keep asking. It shows you want the best for him."


"It's her turn, you'll have to wait in line!"

"When are you planning on weaning?"

"I'm not. He'll wean me."

(pause) "Oh, you were talking to me? I thought you were asking him...he can't answer you yet."

"Maybe when she moves out. She can always come home for a snack, though."

"When are you planning on minding your own business?"

"He hasn't told me yet."

"I haven't asked him yet."

"I hope not for a while. We're both enjoying our time together."

"What, and get my PMS back? are you crazy?"

"I weaned a long time ago, when I was two I think."

"I don't know. He seems to still enjoy it and I enjoy those extra 500 calories I burn."

"Thanks for asking. Everyone seems to need an answer for that except for me and my child."


"When will you give him cow's milk?"

"Whenever he becomes a baby cow."


"When he starts thinking he's a calf."

"Whenever human milk stops being the best for human babies."


"Breastfeeding is gross!"

"So is changing diapers, yet people do it all the time."

"The reason women have breasts is to feed their young."

"Hello? Did you not realize that humans are mammals?"

"Seems to me that you have some issues you need to work out."

"Feeding my baby with whatever it is that they put in formula is gross to me."

"Watching people stuff their faces in restaurants is gross. Should that not be allowed?"

"Watching people eating crappy fast food is gross, and they do that in public all the time!"
 
JCTVCBN
by Group Owner on Oct. 15, 2010 at 8:42 AM

http://www.ifbreastfeedingoffendsyou.org/2010/04/witty-comebacks-for-when-you-are.html

"Why would you want to nurse when you can just get formula?"

"Gee, I don’t know. It must have something to do it with being free, always the right temperature, portable, what nature intended, and the best way I can nourish my baby."

"Have you checked out the price of formula lately?"

"Breastmilk is sterile and safe - the same cannot always be said for formula."

"Why give my baby something man made when I can give her what nature intended?"


"You should go feed her in the bathroom."

"Do YOU eat in the bathroom?"

"Why don't YOU go eat in a filthy bathroom?"

"If my breastfeeding offends you, I will be happy to ask your waiter to bring you your food in the restroom."


"How long are you going to do that? Shouldn’t you be feeding your baby solid food now? "

"I plan to follow medical recommendations: The American Academy of Pediatrics recommends exclusive breastfeeding for the first six months and continued breastfeeding at least through the end of the first year. The World Health Organization recommends breastfeeding for at least two years and beyond as long as mom and baby want to continue."

"Oh, until he goes off to college."

"Its just until I learn to cook!"


"Don’t you want your husband to be able to bond with the baby?"

"You’re right, holding the baby, talking to the baby, changing the baby, bathing the baby, and spending time just being with the baby sure won’t be enough for him to bond with the baby."

"He will bond the same way fathers have bonded for their babies in the thousands of years before formula was invented."

"You want to get up in the middle of the night to nurse?"

"You’re right: I don’t want to get up; that’s why my husband gets up and brings the baby to me."

"I’d rather nurse in my sleep than schlep to the kitchen and try to mix, heat up, and feed my baby formula in my sleep … because I sure do love sleeping."

"We co-sleep. I just roll over, give him the breast, and go back to snoozing!"

JCTVCBN
by Group Owner on Oct. 15, 2010 at 8:48 AM

http://www.ifbreastfeedingoffendsyou.org/2010/04/witty-comebacks-for-when-you-are.html

"There goes your sex life. "

"My husband would be really shocked to hear that … especially after we … well, I’d better not say any more."

"Are you speaking from experience?"


"How long are you going to keep nursing?"

"Oh, another 10 minutes or so..."

"Until I finish medical school to become a doctor!"


"Isn't he a little old for that?"

"Aren't you a little old to be wearing those jeans?"

"His doctor doesn't think so."

"What?! He's not even out of diapers!"

"Aren't you a little old to be randomly coming up to strangers and asking impolite questions?"


"He doesn't NEED to nurse at this age!"

"He doesn't need his teddy bear either and but we still give it to him."

(laugh) "Where did you hear that?"

"He can HEAR you, you know."

"And you don't NEED to eat that doughnut, but you still are."

"And you should be OVER the whole thing by now, are you still afraid of a breastfeeding child?"


Miscellaneous Responses

"If you are offended by me doing this, then you are looking too closely."

"Do you often look this closely at women's breasts?"

"It is illegal to harass a mother breastfeeding in public or to ask her to cover up. If you still have a problem feel free to call the police. You can explain to them why you are breaking the law."

And of course, you all know our favorite:

If breastfeeding offends you, put a blanket over YOUR head!

JCTVCBN
by Group Owner on Oct. 15, 2010 at 9:26 AM

http://www.babiestoday.com/articles/breastfeeding/breastfeeding-ignorance-2710/4/

When you are asked: "How can you stand to breastfeed?"
Answer: "How can you not?"

 When you are asked: "Doesn't it bother you to have a baby hanging off your breasts?"
Answer: "Seems to me that's why they are there."

When you are asked: "Didn't you just nurse that baby?"
Answer: "Hmmm, she must have forgotten already."

When you are asked: "Are you sure he is getting enough to eat?"
Answer: "What goes in one end comes out the other."

When you are told: "You shouldn't breastfeed in public."
Reply with: "You really shouldn't feed your kids in public either."

When you are told: "Your child is too old to nurse."
Reply: "Really? Well darn! I guess breastfeeding him through high school is out."

When you are asked: "How long are you going to continue to breastfeed that child?"
Answer: "Until she can tell me she doesn't want to anymore."

When you are asked: "Are you still nursing that child?"
Answer: "YES!" while looking the questioner straight in the eye.

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