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What do you do in this situation?

Posted by on Nov. 19, 2009 at 9:26 PM
  • 4 Replies

Tonight I put my kids to bed and I was washing some dishes and my youngest Gabriella (she is 3) comes donwstairs and says Zoey ( she is 7) choked me..there was a red mark on her neck...I went up stairs and Zoey was hiding and I asked her what did you do to your sister..she said I gave her a hug..I told her no a hug doesnt leave a red mark on someones neck..I asked her did you choke your sister...she didnt say anything..I told her you never ever do that to someone and asked her do you knwo what can happen to someone if you choke them..she said no..I told her you can kill someone by choking them hard enough..I didnt yell at her I talked to her calmly..and I put Gabriella in her bed and Zoey says then maybe she should have listen to it so loud ( the toy Gabriella was playing with) I told her that dont matter you still dont choke your sister and I told her if she does something that makes you mad you come and tell me not hurt your sister. I also told her seh was grounded for the week end and not allowed to go play at the mall ( there is a kids play area at the mall the kids like to play at) I am really bother by this..it is the first time Zoey has done that to Gabriella..she hits Gabriella and kicks Gabriella and she is mean to Gabriella..I am sure Gabriella isnt an angel when Zoey gets mad at Gabriella but I dont know how many times I have explained to her why she shouldnt do that stuff to Gabriella and how it can hurt Gabriella if she keeps doing it. Do I talk to her guidence counsler at school about what I can do..Any advice would be good before it gets worse. I never choked any of my sisters even though I got mad enough at them but never did it. none of my sisters ever did that to eachother..I honestly am at a blank at what to do with her. I dont want to just ignore it and it gets worse and Zoey just starts being an aggressive child.

by on Nov. 19, 2009 at 9:26 PM
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Replies (1-4):
remaining_me
by Kay on Nov. 19, 2009 at 11:00 PM

I believe in the moment you handled the situation well. I think talking to your daughters counselor is a good idea. Its a source of free help and, possibly, if she can't give you the answers your seeking she can likely direct you in the direction of better help. Good luck with your daughters! =]

lizmarie1975
by Liz on Nov. 20, 2009 at 8:24 AM

I agree that talking to her counselor is a good idea.  Maybe there's something going on at school and she's taking it out on her little sister?  You definitely need to keep an eye on her because hitting and kicking is one thing...it's a whole 'nother ballgame when she starts choking her sister. 

Good luck.

robsgurl_23
by on Nov. 20, 2009 at 9:23 AM

I have this morning contacted the school counselor about the situation..I am waiting to hear back for her. I know with some kids it is easier to talk to someone else instead of their parents so I want this opertunity to have someone else beside my husband and I to talk to her as well to see if she will open up about what is going on...maybe there is something deep that she doesnt want to talk about. I just want to hip this in the butt before it gets worse..I dont need an out of control teen on my hands when she hit the teen years. If she keeps acting like that toward Gabriella I dont want Gabriella to end up hating Zoey and just not have anything to do with Zoey when they are older..I want her to have a good realationship with Zoey cause I know what it is liek to have your sisters around and love them like sister should. My husbands grandmother and her sister all hate each other and I have told my husband I cant imagine hating my sisters like that. But like I said I want them to grow up and see each other as sisters and friends. My sister Robin and I are 2 years apart and we were in high school together and we were like friends it was great to have her there..that is what I want for my girls.

robsgurl_23
by on Nov. 20, 2009 at 2:36 PM

Zoey is going to be put in a group after Thanksgiving and it is about teaching them ways to express them self with out anger type stuff..just to help them better understand ways to express they way they feel..I think it is going to be a good thing for Zoey and the counselor is sending me material they will be going over in that group so I can help Zoey at home with the stuff as well. I got a list of books that I might get and read them with Zoey...I might be heading to the mall to the book store this week end...but I told Zoey last night she is grounded for the week end and has to stay home this week end and is not allowed to go anywhere from what she did..I dont want to punish or ground her for too long and then hate me for it and just start acting out more..I think the week end is long enough for her. I think it will help her understand as well that if you do bad things you dont get to do anything fun for a few days.

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