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Get this brat!?

Posted by on Nov. 9, 2011 at 8:57 AM
  • 6 Replies

Sam cried for 2 full hours last night from 5-7(even well after) about how he wants to leave our family and join his friend Kavin's family. Kavin is 1 of 4 kids and there is always someone to play with. Sam kept screaming and crying about how he wants to be an O'Donnell (Kavin's last name).

"I dont want to be part of our family. There is no one to play with. I dont like it here. It is too quiet. Too boring. 
I want to be an O'Donnell. I dont want to be an oly child".

I was beside myself  with grief and anger- (i think this soon after miscarriage and all that... it BROKE my heart he was asking for a sibling... obviously, nothing I can give him).

The ONLY way I got him to stop was finally distraction... I told him it may take a few days to find a family for him as the O'Donnells dont want 5 kids... (they got twins on the last shot..didnt even really want 4). LOL

I know he doesnt get "grass is always greener". That siblings dont always want to play, they can be mean, they NEVER go away... etc....I know he doesnt see the benefits of being an only yet. He is 5. I honestly didnt think I'd be here yet... (dealing with him wanting to run away to another family).

I have to say it also bothers me that I know how financially strapped and difficult it is for the O'Donnells... and here Sam is with tons of security, a beautiful house, tons of toys, opportunities that Kavin will NEVER have-- and it means nothing. All the things I didnt really have that I thought were so important....

but 2 hours of crying... it was just devastating....
I was trying to look at it like "ice cream"... you know, the fit "normal" kids might throw if they didnt get ice cream.. this is something Sam cant get... and this was his fit to be tied....

After it was all over I think I should have just simply said "You can go cry in your room, you are hurting my feelings and I dont want to listen to it"....

Thoughts, suggestions?

by on Nov. 9, 2011 at 8:57 AM
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by Snow Bunny on Nov. 9, 2011 at 9:04 AM


Sam is too young to fully understand his "melt down". I don't think it's abnormal for him to say the things he said. While being an only does have it's advantages he don't see them just yet. All he sees is his friend has someone to play with 24/7. From a 5 year olds point of view, I can understand that.

I'm sorry your feelings are hurt. I know he didn't mean to hurt his Mom. He loves his Mama!

by on Nov. 9, 2011 at 9:55 AM
(((Hugs))): we had something like this with Jillian,( she basically was raised an only child). She was alittle older,when we told her ok but first we had to quit dance and other things because we couldn't afford it with another baby her tone changed.
Don't take it to heart.
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by Jen on Nov. 9, 2011 at 10:36 AM

(hugs) Alice is starting to ask for a baby too. 2 of her close cousins are becoming a big sister. There is no way I can afford it ( iknow if you wait to afford it , it will never happen,) but times are unstable in the house with Kelly just starting a new job and me being home. 

I'm sorry Sam hurt your feelings. I'm sure he'll understand some day. Until then we're here for you . 

by Liz on Nov. 9, 2011 at 10:44 AM

Naiya did that a little over a year ago when we lived in Queens.  She wanted to live with her friend Samantha. She kept going on and on and finally I had enough. I grabbed a bag, threw some of her clothes in it, gave it to her, put her outside the apartment door, told her to go live with Samantha, closed the door and locked it.

She thought it was all fun and games until she heard the click of the lock.  She started knocking wanting to get back in and then got pannicky when I didn't let her in right away. After a couple of minutes I opened the door and asked what she wanted. Apparently she had had a change of heart. I told her that it wasn't very nice for her to say things like that because they hurt my feelings and that next time I wouldn't open the door.

She hasn't said it since.

Of course, if she did it now I don't know what I would do since I wouldn't actually put her outside of the house.

by Stephannie on Nov. 9, 2011 at 10:07 PM

 I can't say that I personally know where you are or that I've been through it, as I haven't.
However, my Aunt had that with my cousin.
Danny wanted to live with Aunt Kathy (my Mom) and the boys because he wanted big brothers and a sister. It broke my Aunt's heart. She had lost a baby when he was 14 months old, at around 20 weeks when they discovered she had cancer. I know he was about Sam's age when he said it and I really don't know what she said to him.
I do know that part of the explination had involved that not being in God's grand plan for them and that was why they did all big things with his cousins, and we came over once a week. Over time he did get to see that having us only for 5 hrs was a good thing.

Stephannie, wife to John, Mom to John, Garrett, CJ and Alex
full-time Auntie to Carly-Ann

New York Moms
Join us on The New York Moms Group! - - NY Moms Group Mod

by Erica on Nov. 9, 2011 at 10:50 PM

oh Scarlet, I'm sorry. That had to have been difficult for you. Hugs.

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