My 11 yr old is driving me batty lately. I really want to ask my pedi if he should be privately tested because I truly believe he has something wrong with him. Other than the fact I totally believe he has sensory issues, he hates jeans, says the material freaks him out, he only wants to wear sweats. he HAS to wear an undershirt, says shirts bother him with out one on, even if it is just another t-shirt. No matter how hot it is, he sleeps with not only his pjs, but a fleece robe, a santa hat, and all the blankets and pillows over his head. how he hasnt suffocated himself I have no idea. I have to remind him every single day about the same exact things. He needs to be told to make his bed, brush his teeth, get dressed, and I cant just say all three things at once, I have to say one, wait for him to do it then say the next thing. Same thing with after school stuff, He knows he has to do "DOOTYDUTY" every day before he comes inside, and if there is any garbage outside he needs to bring it to the shed. HE NEVER does this with out me reminding him, then he argues for about 5 minutes why he cant do it, then I finally threaten to beat him and he does it, (FYI, Calm down ladies, I dont beat him). He does his multiplication charts every night, we work on 2 numbers for at least a week, 2 if hes having trouble, yet then if we go back to number we did a week or 2 earlier, he cant remember them, so needless to say hes failing math. He is insanely immature. If you say anything to him, he is hysterical and then forget it, he has major melt downs, starts gagging and hyperventilating, its all so frustrating. Hes been tested in school and has an IEP, but I wonder if there is more going on and if he needs help. Also, he is EXTREMELY clumsy. He must fall down the stairs at the very least once a week. He trips while walking. spills things at dinner, doesnt have an undershirt that isnt stained because he spills everything he eats on himself. He is constantly picking at himself, his braces, his feet, his butt, he cant speak without fidegting. Maybe he is just an 11 yr old boy who needs to grow up, but I hate to think its more than that and im not doing anything. I know other moms in here have special needs kids, do any of these things sound familiar to you? Or is he just immature and I need to give him time to grow up?
I have NO idea... LOL.. AS I have said before... I'm no Dr. I dont even play one on TV. Tee Hee
I def. think there is a sensory component to your son. Needing the deep pressure of all the blankets and pillows over his head to sleep (relax) and not liking the feeling of certain textures.. I would think maybe SPD is something you could look into. The Out of Sink Child has a good questionairre you may want to fill out for a "quick" answer...
.
As far as the not listening... maybe there is a lot of noise in his head that keeps him from being able to concentrate... which maybe ADHD... (or something.).. A lot of these developmental disorders (ADD,ADHA, and anything "spectrum-y") have so many components that it is really hard to pull them apart... and it is a continum... point A to point z ..LOL.. hence the name "spectrum". It could be your son is on the spectrum-- but SO MILDLY that it is hard to really tell for people and a lot of the behaviors sometimes get chalked up to "other thing"...
The immaturity, the quick to melt (not tantrum, but MELT) the clumsy-ness (most kids on the spectrum have poor muscle strength... and usually need p/t ) how is his handwriting?
I do think that kids GROW out of a lot of sensory stuff (as they get more comfy in their own bodies-- and KNOW what to expect and can PREDICT outcomes with more regularity they dont melt so easy) AS they get intune with themselves (like how your on GETS that he doesnt like jeans) it becomes easier. Sam will tell me he NEEDS to be carried upside down (for proprioceptive input) He KNOWS when he NEEDS it NOW.
I certainly dont think an evaluation will HURT your son... it can only help him and it MAY put your mind at ease as well. I know of a few pediatric neurologists I'd recommend if you need. This is usually covered by insurance.
HUGS....
Quoting SamMom912:
I have NO idea... LOL.. AS I have said before... I'm no Dr. I dont even play one on TV. Tee Hee
I def. think there is a sensory component to your son. Needing the deep pressure of all the blankets and pillows over his head to sleep (relax) and not liking the feeling of certain textures.. I would think maybe SPD is something you could look into. The Out of Sink Child has a good questionairre you may want to fill out for a "quick" answer...
.
As far as the not listening... maybe there is a lot of noise in his head that keeps him from being able to concentrate... which maybe ADHD... (or something.).. A lot of these developmental disorders (ADD,ADHA, and anything "spectrum-y") have so many components that it is really hard to pull them apart... and it is a continum... point A to point z ..LOL.. hence the name "spectrum". It could be your son is on the spectrum-- but SO MILDLY that it is hard to really tell for people and a lot of the behaviors sometimes get chalked up to "other thing"...
The immaturity, the quick to melt (not tantrum, but MELT) the clumsy-ness (most kids on the spectrum have poor muscle strength... and usually need p/t ) how is his handwriting?
I do think that kids GROW out of a lot of sensory stuff (as they get more comfy in their own bodies-- and KNOW what to expect and can PREDICT outcomes with more regularity they dont melt so easy) AS they get intune with themselves (like how your on GETS that he doesnt like jeans) it becomes easier. Sam will tell me he NEEDS to be carried upside down (for proprioceptive input) He KNOWS when he NEEDS it NOW.
I certainly dont think an evaluation will HURT your son... it can only help him and it MAY put your mind at ease as well. I know of a few pediatric neurologists I'd recommend if you need. This is usually covered by insurance.
HUGS....
I did have him tested for his hearing and he has a 68% hearing loss when background noise is present. I was born completely deaf and had surgeries to get hearing in one ear and am still tone deaf in the other so it never dawned on me to get him tested because I knew he heard. but then the pedi did suggest due to his terrible speech that it could be that, as well as difficulty in school. so you were right with that. i wouldnt mind the names of those drs if you dont mind, sorry about they typps but i have two squirming babies on my lap
Dr. Jacobson and Dr. Cantor both at Phelps were wonderful. I thought they were both fair, honest and totally on the ball. They both listened intently to what I was saying and didn't dismiss me.
Dr. Jacobson was NOT warm and fuzzy-- but he was very much on the ball and could tell me that Sam did things a certain way before I told him... Dr. Cantor was also good, but she has a thick accent and I had some difficult understanding her. I felt like I just kept saying "what?".. "Or I'm sorry, could you repeat that?" ... LOL
Sweeney at MKMG was also very nice, respectful, good listener. This may sound mean, but I dont think as on the ball intuitively as Jacobson or Cantor...but very very nice and a smart cookie.
Not sure if she is still in practice but Dr. Sheret Klein (not sure If I am spelling the first part right--- is a horror and aviod her at all costs! She tested Sam early on when he wasnt walking -- my pediatrician sent me to her since Sam had quirky behavior and couldnt walk (5 vials of blood from a 1.5 year old) and told me it would be 8 weeks to have results and was testing for (I cant believe I cant remember what it was called but some horrid debilitating disease where the patient dies at 15-20 and becomes incapacitated slowly... ) and after 13 weeks still had not gotten back to me with results. I had to call her office every day-- and the nurses (who I felt badly for) were NOT allowed to give me results.. they just kept telling me the results weren't in... and FINALLY at week 14 (which honestly I just WRONG!!!! to torture any parent for 14 weeks with what may be a terminal illness) she called and said Sam was fine. So, really, if you see her name-- run the other way.
Quoting SamMom912:
Dr. Jacobson and Dr. Cantor both at Phelps were wonderful. I thought they were both fair, honest and totally on the ball. They both listened intently to what I was saying and didn't dismiss me.
Dr. Jacobson was NOT warm and fuzzy-- but he was very much on the ball and could tell me that Sam did things a certain way before I told him... Dr. Cantor was also good, but she has a thick accent and I had some difficult understanding her. I felt like I just kept saying "what?".. "Or I'm sorry, could you repeat that?" ... LOLSweeney at MKMG was also very nice, respectful, good listener. This may sound mean, but I dont think as on the ball intuitively as Jacobson or Cantor...but very very nice and a smart cookie.
Not sure if she is still in practice but Dr. Sheret Klein (not sure If I am spelling the first part right--- is a horror and aviod her at all costs! She tested Sam early on when he wasnt walking -- my pediatrician sent me to her since Sam had quirky behavior and couldnt walk (5 vials of blood from a 1.5 year old) and told me it would be 8 weeks to have results and was testing for (I cant believe I cant remember what it was called but some horrid debilitating disease where the patient dies at 15-20 and becomes incapacitated slowly... ) and after 13 weeks still had not gotten back to me with results. I had to call her office every day-- and the nurses (who I felt badly for) were NOT allowed to give me results.. they just kept telling me the results weren't in... and FINALLY at week 14 (which honestly I just WRONG!!!! to torture any parent for 14 weeks with what may be a terminal illness) she called and said Sam was fine. So, really, if you see her name-- run the other way.
Ok thanks, the one with the thick accent is out as I can not understand anyone with an accent due to my hearing problems. I go back and forth on whether or not I should have more testing done because at this age he will totally know what is going on and will flip out thinking we think there is anything wrong with him, on the other hand, if I do think that, and I do, but dont do anything about it then that doesnt say much for me as a mother. I just dont want him thinking we think he is "dumb" as he would say. He is just so immature I dont know what to think anymore and nothing seems to be getting better with him. When Ive talked to my neighbor she complains about the same things with her 17 yr old son who is not a special need kid in anyway, she just says boys can be like that but I dont know. Why is he so clumsy? and you asked about his handwriting and it is good now but thats from 2 years of OT in school, it was horrible before that. I see my pedi on Friday for giuliana so I will ask him what he thinks as well but he sees Nicholas for about 10 minutes once a year so Im not sure how much stock I put into what he says on that front. I guess I should just go and get him tested and see what a specialist says. Thanks for listening, I think I just had to get that all out there to get my answer.
Quoting Cecelia712:
Quoting SamMom912:
Dr. Jacobson and Dr. Cantor both at Phelps were wonderful. I thought they were both fair, honest and totally on the ball. They both listened intently to what I was saying and didn't dismiss me.
Dr. Jacobson was NOT warm and fuzzy-- but he was very much on the ball and could tell me that Sam did things a certain way before I told him... Dr. Cantor was also good, but she has a thick accent and I had some difficult understanding her. I felt like I just kept saying "what?".. "Or I'm sorry, could you repeat that?" ... LOLSweeney at MKMG was also very nice, respectful, good listener. This may sound mean, but I dont think as on the ball intuitively as Jacobson or Cantor...but very very nice and a smart cookie.
Not sure if she is still in practice but Dr. Sheret Klein (not sure If I am spelling the first part right--- is a horror and aviod her at all costs! She tested Sam early on when he wasnt walking -- my pediatrician sent me to her since Sam had quirky behavior and couldnt walk (5 vials of blood from a 1.5 year old) and told me it would be 8 weeks to have results and was testing for (I cant believe I cant remember what it was called but some horrid debilitating disease where the patient dies at 15-20 and becomes incapacitated slowly... ) and after 13 weeks still had not gotten back to me with results. I had to call her office every day-- and the nurses (who I felt badly for) were NOT allowed to give me results.. they just kept telling me the results weren't in... and FINALLY at week 14 (which honestly I just WRONG!!!! to torture any parent for 14 weeks with what may be a terminal illness) she called and said Sam was fine. So, really, if you see her name-- run the other way.Ok thanks, the one with the thick accent is out as I can not understand anyone with an accent due to my hearing problems. I go back and forth on whether or not I should have more testing done because at this age he will totally know what is going on and will flip out thinking we think there is anything wrong with him, on the other hand, if I do think that, and I do, but dont do anything about it then that doesnt say much for me as a mother. I just dont want him thinking we think he is "dumb" as he would say. He is just so immature I dont know what to think anymore and nothing seems to be getting better with him. When Ive talked to my neighbor she complains about the same things with her 17 yr old son who is not a special need kid in anyway, she just says boys can be like that but I dont know. Why is he so clumsy? and you asked about his handwriting and it is good now but thats from 2 years of OT in school, it was horrible before that. I see my pedi on Friday for giuliana so I will ask him what he thinks as well but he sees Nicholas for about 10 minutes once a year so Im not sure how much stock I put into what he says on that front. I guess I should just go and get him tested and see what a specialist says. Thanks for listening, I think I just had to get that all out there to get my answer.
maybe just a preliminary phone call to one of the Dr's offices? maybe they can rule you out- or no in just a 1/2 hour convo... HUG. This parenting thing is hard. At 11 I would feel comfy telling my son that you want to make sure he is on the right track... and these people can help with that..
Maybe a good person to touch base with is someone at the school? I know this years teacher isnt your fav (was that your post about unfai teacher...? or am I confussed) or maybe last years teacher??
Quoting SamMom912:
Quoting Cecelia712:
Quoting SamMom912:
Dr. Jacobson and Dr. Cantor both at Phelps were wonderful. I thought they were both fair, honest and totally on the ball. They both listened intently to what I was saying and didn't dismiss me.
Dr. Jacobson was NOT warm and fuzzy-- but he was very much on the ball and could tell me that Sam did things a certain way before I told him... Dr. Cantor was also good, but she has a thick accent and I had some difficult understanding her. I felt like I just kept saying "what?".. "Or I'm sorry, could you repeat that?" ... LOLSweeney at MKMG was also very nice, respectful, good listener. This may sound mean, but I dont think as on the ball intuitively as Jacobson or Cantor...but very very nice and a smart cookie.
Not sure if she is still in practice but Dr. Sheret Klein (not sure If I am spelling the first part right--- is a horror and aviod her at all costs! She tested Sam early on when he wasnt walking -- my pediatrician sent me to her since Sam had quirky behavior and couldnt walk (5 vials of blood from a 1.5 year old) and told me it would be 8 weeks to have results and was testing for (I cant believe I cant remember what it was called but some horrid debilitating disease where the patient dies at 15-20 and becomes incapacitated slowly... ) and after 13 weeks still had not gotten back to me with results. I had to call her office every day-- and the nurses (who I felt badly for) were NOT allowed to give me results.. they just kept telling me the results weren't in... and FINALLY at week 14 (which honestly I just WRONG!!!! to torture any parent for 14 weeks with what may be a terminal illness) she called and said Sam was fine. So, really, if you see her name-- run the other way.Ok thanks, the one with the thick accent is out as I can not understand anyone with an accent due to my hearing problems. I go back and forth on whether or not I should have more testing done because at this age he will totally know what is going on and will flip out thinking we think there is anything wrong with him, on the other hand, if I do think that, and I do, but dont do anything about it then that doesnt say much for me as a mother. I just dont want him thinking we think he is "dumb" as he would say. He is just so immature I dont know what to think anymore and nothing seems to be getting better with him. When Ive talked to my neighbor she complains about the same things with her 17 yr old son who is not a special need kid in anyway, she just says boys can be like that but I dont know. Why is he so clumsy? and you asked about his handwriting and it is good now but thats from 2 years of OT in school, it was horrible before that. I see my pedi on Friday for giuliana so I will ask him what he thinks as well but he sees Nicholas for about 10 minutes once a year so Im not sure how much stock I put into what he says on that front. I guess I should just go and get him tested and see what a specialist says. Thanks for listening, I think I just had to get that all out there to get my answer.
maybe just a preliminary phone call to one of the Dr's offices? maybe they can rule you out- or no in just a 1/2 hour convo... HUG. This parenting thing is hard. At 11 I would feel comfy telling my son that you want to make sure he is on the right track... and these people can help with that..
Maybe a good person to touch base with is someone at the school? I know this years teacher isnt your fav (was that your post about unfai teacher...? or am I confussed) or maybe last years teacher??
I have mentioned to him about getting tested to make sure the thngs like being clumsy and not being able to remember his times tables isnt because there is a problem and it has caused major melt downs every time to the point he is on the floor sobbing, gagging, and hyperventalating saying that I think he is stupid. I try to explain that I know he is a very smart boy but that sometimes we all need a little help but he doesnt see it that way. As for the school, his school sucks really. His teacher is ok, its the resource room teacher who is the bitch to him. Parenting is SOOO hard, I always feel like Im doing the wrong thing and I have no family to talk to and his mom, well we get along as long as we dont talk....... so I feel like I have no one to go to and hubby is the typical man (useless!) so I might as well talk to a wall as talk to him about this.
My BFF from HS was diagnosed with a learning disability in middle school. She got so much support... and help..ONCE they knew the problem. She got JUST OK grades to start with-- but once they got the DX and KNEW what it was she REALLY excelled!
She got a scholarship to American University in DC and then got her Masters from Fordham.
She met a guy while going to Fordham who was getting his 2nd law degree from NYU (tax specialty) and now has a very nice life! She jokes about working as a stock girl somewhere IF she hadnt getten Dx'd.
I always think of her when I think about helping Sam.... we all have great potential inside...
Sorry about not having anyone to listen. I KNOW how hard that is..(same boat). I'm here if you need to chat... I'm no wall.
Quoting SamMom912:
My BFF from HS was diagnosed with a learning disability in middle school. She got so much support... and help..ONCE they knew the problem. She got JUST OK grades to start with-- but once they got the DX and KNEW what it was she REALLY excelled!
She got a scholarship to American University in DC and then got her Masters from Fordham.
She met a guy while going to Fordham who was getting his 2nd law degree from NYU (tax specialty) and now has a very nice life! She jokes about working as a stock girl somewhere IF she hadnt getten Dx'd.
I always think of her when I think about helping Sam.... we all have great potential inside...
Sorry about not having anyone to listen. I KNOW how hard that is..(same boat). I'm here if you need to chat... I'm no wall.
Thanks!
Quoting Kimmiky:
the Out of Sync Child is a wonderful book. Try getting a copy from your local library if you don't want to buy.
thank you I'll look into the book.
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May Randoms
- Cecelia712
on Feb. 13, 2012 at 2:12 PM