I need advice

[MELRN]

Ok  My very good friend (very long term friend) is getting married in May   I said yes when she asked me to be her Matron of Honor..I even bought my dress.. now I''m changing my mind.  I'm getting micro managed  the bridal party the mother of the bride and the bride herself has no regard to my family (only theirs) and it's August and I am already PO.. I have to bail out   how do I do this tactfully?  I would LOVE to still go to the wedding....

[lady-J-Rock]

Is it something specific or everything?

[Jillysmom]

Is it just in regards to one issues or many?

[suetoo]

I don't think you can or should. Not without losing a very good friend. If you bail, I doubt you'd be welcomed at the wedding. Just deal with the micromanaging, unless it's bother/irritation is more important than keeping a long term friend. Do it with grace and dignity, let them have their way, go along with their plans, enjoy the wedding. And then know you have done the honorable right thing. iMHO.
Good luck. The irritations will fade into the past. Your friendship won't.
Hugs
Suetoo

[Wyldbutterfly]

I agree with suetoo,

It's not worth losing a friend over. Can you grin and bare it for just a bit longer?

[robynjavan7104]

I think if you feel its really bad and your not going to be able to handle it then you need to let her know now so she can find someone else. If there driving you crazy now just imagine how bad its going to be when it gets closer. Have you talked to your friend about it at all?

[SamMom912]

I would see if you can back off.. But not back out. Tell her mom that you have some tough things going on with your family.. And you dont want to let your friend down, but you need to back out of a few of the (micromanaged) responsibilities due to being over extended.
I think it becomes too hurtful if you do back out...and is this really worth losing a good friend over?
I had a similar situation.. My BFF had a twin sister and made us both maids of honor... Well my BFFs sister kept making plans without me.. Planned the bridal shower on the same day as my grandmothers 80th birthday party.. (so i had to leave shower early) planned the bachelorette weekend away on a weekend i had to work (at the time my job was every other weekend am...) so i had to go a day late! And really was a total beyoth to me during the whole thing... I kept my mouth shut, did was i was told, swalloed any crap handed my way...with grace and dignity.. I did what i could/ wanted to do... And my bff are still bffs today 18 years later!

Do what you can do... Take a bit of a backseat where you can... Hugs, it isnt ideal.. But sometimes the hard thing to do, is the right thing to do. Dont ruin her wedding...

[MELRN]

honestly I want to cry... last week when we were looking for a date they wanted April (wedding is in  May 5th)--  I work weekends and asking for 2  weekends back to back off would be a problem...  so I said please pick another month  the Mother of the bride said "well it's not all about you."

Monday this past week I went and booked the Hampton Inn North for May4  through the 6th (I got a GREAT deal $120/night) because I just got back from a vacation so if I booked the next hotel I'd get 40% off   so I went and I booked the hotel-- I was all excited and called my friend to tell her--  -she started screaming at me "why did you book if we book as a group we'll get a group rate and Ihaven't picked a hotel yet?"  Then she said  "I dont know why Rob and the kids are coming down the night before they can't come to rehursal dinner I dont have enough money  and you need to be at my disposal the day before for stuff the kids will tie you down lus we need both your cars."

ok so now what?

[lady-J-Rock]

OUCH.  At my disposal? Somebody has been reading one to many bridal magazines. I would say I love you I love being your friend but you my dear are a bridezilla.

Quoting MELRN:

honestly I want to cry... last week when we were looking for a date they wanted April (wedding is in  May 5th)--  I work weekends and asking for 2  weekends back to back off would be a problem...  so I said please pick another month  the Mother of the bride said "well it's not all about you."

Monday this past week I went and booked the Hampton Inn North for May4  through the 6th (I got a GREAT deal $120/night) because I just got back from a vacation so if I booked the next hotel I'd get 40% off   so I went and I booked the hotel-- I was all excited and called my friend to tell her--  -she started screaming at me "why did you book if we book as a group we'll get a group rate and Ihaven't picked a hotel yet?"  Then she said  "I dont know why Rob and the kids are coming down the night before they can't come to rehursal dinner I dont have enough money  and you need to be at my disposal the day before for stuff the kids will tie you down lus we need both your cars."

ok so now what?

[Jillysmom]

sounds like she is very stressed and might be getting it from all ends also. I would just tell her,your ________ told me the date and I was able to get a great deal and thought it would help, i'll just cancel it.