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my mother tried pulling that favoritism crud

Posted by on Oct. 9, 2012 at 1:27 PM
  • 14 Replies

Last year, Lynn (nieces biological Mom) invited my brother and mother to the Birthday party she had. My Mom took a small gift that was more appropriate for her 21 month old sister than Carly, figuring that the sister will be using it more than Carly. My brother bought something small and a package of more appropriate girls underware than what her mother will buy (and the correct size).

They got invited again for this year. My mom couldn't go (although I don't know why her sleep study wasn't until 10pm Saturday night). My brother told Carly she'd get her gift here when we do her Birthday dinner.

My mother came over today, she had told Carly that she couldn't make it so she would take her out shopping. I asked my Mom is she planned on coming to the party on the 21st. To which she plans on coming, so I blankly asked her why she feels that Carly needs two gifts to the boys one gift?

She has done this every year that Carly has been with John and I. For her 3rd Birthday she bought stuff and said it was from Daddy (Philip was out of work), that Christmas I kept hearing how "Carly needed a good Christmas to know she's loved", we won't even get into my real feelings on taht phrase. Last year she took a gift to each party for Carly, she got her more for Christmas the she did the boys. Not hugely noticable as Carly opened her gifts after she came home from her Moms.

I just don't get it! SHe was the biggest complainer of my MIL and SIL treating the boys differently and here she is doing it with Carly. 

Stephannie, wife to John, Mom to John, Garrett, CJ and Alex
full-time Auntie to Carly-Ann

 
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by on Oct. 9, 2012 at 1:27 PM
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Replies (1-10):
lizmarie1975
by Liz on Oct. 9, 2012 at 1:35 PM

Maybe she just gets carried away buying girls stuff? It's really easy to do...

Mom2jngnc
by Stephannie on Oct. 9, 2012 at 2:04 PM

No it's not that Liz, I mean John and I have had to reign ourselves in. She is easier to shop for as there is one of her and four of the boys and Alex is hard to shop for as a result. 

lizmarie1975
by Liz on Oct. 9, 2012 at 2:09 PM


Quoting Mom2jngnc:

No it's not that Liz, I mean John and I have had to reign ourselves in. She is easier to shop for as there is one of her and four of the boys and Alex is hard to shop for as a result. 

Oh. I mean..I find it so hard to control myself when it comes to buying Naiya things. Girls things can be so great and fun.

Mom2jngnc
by Stephannie on Oct. 9, 2012 at 2:43 PM
last year it was a puzzle and a toy at her Moms house, something that the little sister would really use. then at my house teh same $10 that the boys got. she doesn't shop, except at Christmas which ends up a disaster
Cecelia712
by Gold Member on Oct. 9, 2012 at 7:56 PM
My MIl favors her daughters kids over mine big time! Where as my kids will get $50 and a cheapo gift (one yr she bought nicholas pjs from tjmaxx on clearance for $7 and 3 sizes too big!) And they get $100 and expensive electronics and jewelry. So they get gifts that add to up to at least $300, mine get $75 if lucky. They have 4, I have 3. And my younger 2 are babies so for the 9 yrs before I had them I only had the 1 and he still got nothing. As a matter of fact 2 yrs she got him NOTHING as we were seperated. And my FIL dresses up as santa every year and would hand out gifts, she bought nothing for him to give nicholas so I had to quick run out to the store christmas eve and buy little trucks and a coloring book.
So I def know your frustration on this and yes it sucks. I don't know wyy they do this. But we feel its because the other 4 have such a shitty life, the parents have been having issues for 11 yrs, divorced for 2, so they try making it up this way. But when we had problems they never spoke to my son or bought him a damn thing. It suucks but I try not to let it bug me too much
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powow65
by Kim on Oct. 9, 2012 at 7:57 PM
Maybe your mom "sees" the (bio mom) as a real POS & your mom is putting her heart out more for Carly.
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SamMom912
by Platinum Member on Oct. 9, 2012 at 9:10 PM

Maybe she wants to impress Lynn?
Seems crazy to me!!!!
and maybe a little of what Kim said.. " maybe she knows Carley gets SOO little (attention, love) from bio mom that she feels like she needs to make sure that Carley knows she is loved. NOT that gifts mean love.. just that your boys KNOW they have a family... and well Carley knows she doesnt.

suetoo
by Sue on Oct. 10, 2012 at 9:09 AM
You can't control what others do, only how you react to it. Chill. Your kids will all pick up on your pissy attitude about it. Be gracious, show courtesy about receiving any gift, and that is what your kids will learn.
SamMom912
by Platinum Member on Oct. 10, 2012 at 9:54 AM

 

Quoting suetoo:

You can't control what others do, only how you react to it. Chill. Your kids will all pick up on your pissy attitude about it. Be gracious, show courtesy about receiving any gift, and that is what your kids will learn.

Please read this in a nice tone:
I dont think you get what the poster Steph is saying. I think its:
She has a bio niece named Carley who lives with Stephs family 90% of the time. Lynn the bio mom is not responsible and doesnt want and cant handle being a mom full time.
Carley's Bio mom, Lynn, has a party and invites Carley's dad (Steph's brother) and carley's grandma (Steph's mother..and grandmother to Steph's 5 boys)
Grandma buys nice gifts for Carley to bring to the Bio Moms party-- but doesn't bring nice gifts to posters sons.. so grandma is playing favorites and it's lousy...and Steph is wondering WHY.

:)
I think Steph is very gracious and appreciates ALL that her boys get... I think she is just flabbergasted that her mom would over buy for Carley.

suetoo
by Sue on Oct. 10, 2012 at 3:51 PM
Sorry, I don't think the price of whatever she buys is the issue here. "Overbuy" is subjective. What her mother buys for Carley obviously upsets her, no one likes favoritism. The grifter has the right to give what she wants, for whatever her reasons.
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