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Help! Question on Playing in Preschool

Posted by on Dec. 5, 2012 at 1:00 PM
  • 10 Replies


I have a question re. my son who started pre-school in September of this year.  He is the youngest in the class and his teacher told me that although he is the most advanced in terms of knowledge (he knows his numbers and A,B,C's) he is lagging in the social development department.  She said he still parallel plays and doesn't interact directly with the other kids.  He turns 3 on March 1st, and I am wondering if this is normal development for him?  I am being asked to request early intervention for him to find out if he is developing normally.

He loves playing with his family and close friends and asks to play with us all the time, so I know he can play directly.  He is an only child, so he hasn't had much interaction with other children up until now.  I am just wondering what to do?

Really worried mom

by on Dec. 5, 2012 at 1:00 PM
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by Niki on Dec. 5, 2012 at 1:53 PM
When I get a chance to get on the laptop I can get you a lot of information on ages stages and all that fun stuff. I would do the testing because for me it is interesting to see where my child is at developmentally.
by New Member on Dec. 5, 2012 at 2:09 PM

That's what I thought!  He is the youngest in his class and from what I understand they don't start engaging until around 3 years old.  I will wait to hear back from a counselor, but I just don't want to put any undue pressure on him (or give myself a headache, worrying about it)!

by New Member on Dec. 5, 2012 at 2:10 PM

I appreciate it - thanks so much!

by on Dec. 5, 2012 at 2:23 PM
I'm in daycare admin.

Have the testing done by all means... if it helps ease your worry. Also know that while your child's 'teacher' may have a CDA or even an associates degree in Early Childhood Development, she is not a child psychologist and I would seek a professional opinion and take hers with a grain of salt until further study has been done.

I have had more than one teacher in my employ send parents into a paranoid frenzy due to careless comments, which required discipline to the teacher on my part and reassurance to the parent that the only way to be sure is to seek a medical professional's advice.

I'll offer nothing more than a personal opinion to you based on the information you've provided only because I spend each day in preschool classroom enviornment...and ill say that at this point I think he is just fine if he is actively engaging with other family members at home. Some kids parallel play well into their 3rd year... particularly those who have not been previously exposed to a classroom enviornment.

Hope this helps and good luck to you!
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by Platinum Member on Dec. 5, 2012 at 2:27 PM

Wait, he's not even 3? Sounds normal to me. I think around age 3 is when they are expected to start some cooperative play and by 4 when it is expected. That's really why a lot of kids need preschool....the social interaction! To LEARN TO PLAY AND INTERACT with their peers and other adults. If it was me I'd ask the preschool teacher to specifically work with him encouraging him to play with other kids or maybe just one at a time because a group of kids can be overwhelming. Like play a sharing game everyday. Even if you decide to get an evaluation, don't be so worried. It sounds like he is doing just fine and IE will only help him if it's even needed.

by Erica on Dec. 5, 2012 at 2:44 PM

All kids develop at their own rate. He sounds fine to me. I wouldn't be too worried.

by New Member on Dec. 5, 2012 at 5:25 PM

Thank you all for your replies!  I was definitely in a frenzy today because I dropped him off today and he looked a bit lost.  He ran over to play with the toys but then he walked away from all the children.  But, there were 3 other kids who were also playing on their own so I am not sure if he is the only one who always plays alone.

I was wondering if I should have him go to school 5x a week instead of 3x, but my parents would miss him dearly and he enjoys his time with them!

I expect to hear back from the early intervention specialist some time this week.  I will keep you posted with what I hear back.  Thanks again - heading out shortly to pick him up now ;-)

by Platinum Member on Dec. 5, 2012 at 6:06 PM
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I would def get the evals from EI they Re wonderful. Could be your child is delayed... But a delay means he will catch up.. We all do things at our own rates..
That being said, my son was dx d with Aspergers at 3.5 and at 2 started showing some delays socially. He spoke at 10 months knew abcs basic numbers, but had difficulty with peers. Plays with older kids cause they are more predictable and cerebral in their play.

My son is 6 now. Doing great. Had a ton of EI and has a handful of friends and has really come a long way...

I only tell you this based on, I'm sure your son is fine, but if isn't, and is like mine.. Then really, its fine in a different way... Either way, he is your sweet boy!
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by Gold Member on Dec. 5, 2012 at 9:28 PM
The eval can't hurt, but I wouldn't worry. He's still very young. He's only been in school 3 months, doesn't go full time, and has no siblings to play with at home. All that said I think he's just young. Its not uncommon for kids that age to play more by themselves. My son has been tested for everything and had many lables, some accurate, some not. He turned 3 in september and is doing amazingly well. If he can interact and socialize at home I really wouldn't stress.
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