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the place for me?

Posted by on May. 24, 2013 at 12:41 PM
  • 6 Replies

I went to this meeting last night suggested by Sam's dr that weve been seeing. You guys know how Im alwyas just feeling lost between parents who get having a kid with issues vs ones that dont. So Sam's psychologist found this group for me to attend. Theyve been inviting me for like 3 months and Ive never had the time (always seemed to fall on a night hubby had something) or we were away.  But last night, (even though the roads were horrific) I pulled off going there.
OMG NOT the place for me.... I HOPE! 
These parents... these poor parents... their  children... so in need of help... such challenges... So incredible heartwrenching the stories. I was just floored.

First, this house I went to (I dont think it was a house, lets call it a compound!) It was aboslutely freaking gorgeous. Something you'd see in better homes and gardens... just  millions of dollars...( I just looked up on line ---out of freaking curiousity (its in a newish neighborhood... their house is actually listed (im guessing by the builder for similar house on nearby lot) at 3.1 million. So, you get the idea...  crazy!! ) so Im totally out of my element. I can hang with 1. and under. LOL... but 3.1 JUST for the house... and Im guessing there are other houses.... just mind blowing when I think about people living that way... I digress into my love of real estate.. sorry... anyway...

But these moms and a few dads... ugh, my heart goes out to them. I could barely even talk about Sam... since well, he's great... and these kids have had to be removed from homes. Sent to residential schools. taken knives out to parents or sibilibngs. Hurt themselves, been kicked out of numerous schools,  spent time in mental hosiptals. medication galore. UGH... just ugh... these poor families...

I couldnt complain about Sam. it was like complaining about the cost of sneakers to someone in a wheelchair.. He is SO great... comparitively. But a lot of them said their kids were better younger, but got worse as they got older... good until 10-11...then unmanageable...

I was so sad on my drive home. I realize Sam is only 6... what if he get like these kids? What if that group is for me... what if this is the road Im on....

I know - I cant borrow worry like this... but wow--- Im just so overwhelmed with sadness...

by on May. 24, 2013 at 12:41 PM
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Replies (1-6):
Cecelia712
by Gold Member on May. 24, 2013 at 7:53 PM
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Oh Scarlett don't think like that! Look how far Sam has come! Look how he's managing the playdates and other social outings so much better! He was good at sleep over, good while you were away w your husband.
I don't think sam is on that road. Sam is only 6 but mature and he understands empathy and feelings and right vs. Wrong. Kids on that path of hurting others don't understand that.
That is most definitely NOT the path for you! I have been sad over G lately also because he seems to be regressing in the behavior area so I totally understand your fears, but I think you would be wasting your energy worrying about tbose issues with Sam.
I'm here if you need to talk/text/pm. I'm having same fears, so I understand.
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powow65
by Kim on May. 24, 2013 at 9:43 PM
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I wish I could say good stuff but idk.
I only know bipolar & Jeff kept his self in Check.
But if DD is bipolar, I'll too try to be positive!
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Jillysmom
by on May. 24, 2013 at 11:04 PM
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I totally understand your feelings. I felt the same after talking to a bunch of people about Jillian the first time she threw a chair across the room at 7. I decided to not listen (even though I knew alot of their kids also wrond up in places like you mentioned) Thankfully she/we got it under control. 

Don't worry about how their kids were,they aren't Sam or You.  ((Hugs))

Kmary
by Bronze Member on May. 25, 2013 at 7:54 AM
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Maybe the doctor who suggested it is a genius.  What if he/she recommended this group so you can see how "easy" (not the word I'm looking for...) you have it and how great Sam is.  Clearly, you know Sam is great already and I doubt you consider yourself having it "easy" with him, but maybe it was meant to be more of a perspective thing than anything?  You may sometimes feel like you have a hard time relating to parents with neurotypical kids, but maybe your struggles are more similiar (NOT identical, but more similar) to them than you think? 

I don't know.  Just talking out my rear end here...37 weeks today...feeling huge and uncomfortable, so I'm just sitting here relaxing contemplating all the world's troubles and playing devil's advocate :-)

SamMom912
by Platinum Member on May. 25, 2013 at 8:13 AM
Good point. I.dont think Dr realized the severity of the kids in this group. I was thinking about emailing her and asking her...
Hope your feeling good! 37 weeks!!! Thats more prego then i ever was! Cant imagine. Sam was born at 35.4. Never saw 37! Cant imagine. I felt awful at 35! Hug!!!!

Quoting Kmary:Maybe the doctor who suggested it is a genius.  What if he/she recommended this group so you can see how "easy" (not the word I'm looking for...) you have it and how great Sam is.  Clearly, you know Sam is great already and I doubt you consider yourself having it "easy" with him, but maybe it was meant to be more of a perspective thing than anything?  You may sometimes feel like you have a hard time relating to parents with neurotypical kids, but maybe your struggles are more similiar (NOT identical, but more similar) to them than you think?  I don't know.  Just talking out my rear end here...37 weeks today...feeling huge and uncomfortable, so I'm just sitting here relaxing contemplating all the world's troubles and playing devil's advocate :-)
Kimmiky
by Kimmiky on May. 25, 2013 at 9:54 AM
I know what you mean...we just had our end of the year meeting for W and just talking about how FAR he has come and hoe WELL he is doing in just one year's time...I almost feel bad saying he has autism because he's just so...almost NORMAL.
We held hands and walked into the pet store yesterday, and even had to stop for a car in the parking lot. I was so proud of my little guy. (He struggles specifically with spatial awareness and following directions. I usually just throw him in the shopping cart)
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