Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)

sorry so long but im soooo confused here

Posted by on Nov. 20, 2009 at 10:42 PM
  • 4 Replies

 i dont want any bashing maybe im just rambling but any support would be nice. well my dh is stuck on duty all weekend with only 5 hours of sleep i think the whole weekend i dont know if its just the whole night or the whole weekend.  Apparently he was hearing some people say stuff about how they are glad they get to go home and be with their wives and kids at night and he is stuck staying at work all night well dh said something that im not gonna say what cause it could get him in a lot of trouble if the wrong commander i guess heard him say it. well for punishment his sgt is making him stay at the site all weekend and i wont see him again till monday from what i was told by a soldier friend of ours is that this is something he could be court marshalled for so i think this sgt by only making him stay for the weekend for punishment he should be thankful for, and he thinks everyone is against him and when i try to tell him well it sounds to me like your sgt is trying to save your ass then suddenly im against him when im not. i dont know what to do at first he was like well call my cpt and find out what is going on and tell him this and that and blah blah blah i never called his cpt because i was afraid i would say something that would get him in serious trouble and i didnt want to do that so i talked to my neighbor and she told me not to call and then he called me saying not to call his cpt and i was like ok honey no problem how do i make him understand his sgt is basically saving his ass cause he could have gotten worse without him accusing me of not being on his side i am on his side 100% i just wish he would learn to just keep his mouth shut ugh! if i confused you all i am sorry.

            now another thing i have a question about is in another post somewhere on here i wrote about a long conversation where i got bitched out by his sgt well me and my neighbor got to talking about dd's nurological problems we are still finding out about. she is missing a chromosome not sure which one still in the testing process for that, so my neighbor suggested i get as much info as i can and write his cpt a letter explaining it all then maybe they would let dh go to the appts w/o threatening him with a UCMJ which is what his sgt is supposedly doing. we have told his cpt all we know that is going on and he asked to be kept posted on whats going on now as far as the appts i dont know his command is telling him he cant go or if its just his sgt and his cpt doesnt know this is happening would writing his cpt a letter explaining all that i know a good idea? what would u do?

            




Follow me join my groups No Backing down momma's

by on Nov. 20, 2009 at 10:42 PM
Add your quick reply below:
You must be a member to reply to this post.
Replies (1-4):
dsptchmommy
by on Nov. 20, 2009 at 11:07 PM

Here is the thing with the military. As wives if we over step the bounds they cannot do anything to us...however they can make our husband's lives hell! I would NOT write his Cpt a letter YET. If he is not getting the results from his Sgt then he has every right to go to the next person in his chain of command without getting in trouble. It isn't jumping the chain if he goes through everyone. He can keep going up the chain until he gets to the Cpt. It sounds very much like the Cpt is concerned and cares, so if he goes up his chain and the 1st Sgt doesn't grant his request and he gets to the Cpt he may very well say yes. Granted...you are not active duty and do not have to abide by the chain of command but this is a friendly warning. If you do this they can and very possibly will make your hubby's life miserable. They are good about blowing the tiniest thing out of proportion to do that. Usually in the middle of it they will also be told to "control their wife". Now...of course this depends on the circumstances and unit. When I was married to my Ex his Master Guns gave me his personal cell phone number and home number and told me to my face that if I EVER needed ANYTHING that I could call him. Well, the ex needed some serious anger management and marriage counseling and he refused to go. He was to the point I was fearful for the safety of my daughter and I. I didn't know what else to do so I called Master Guns. He called the ex into his office and MADE him go to the anger management and counseling. He NEVER suffered for my calling, but then Master Guns had an open door policy and he told ALL the spouses the same thing he told me and he meant it. So really it just depends, but if you haven't been told what I was it may be better to play it safe.

As far as him learning to keep his mouth shut....if you figure out how to make that happen would you PLEASE share the secret?????? DH just got himself into some trouble in Iraq for this. Thankfully he got off with a slap on the wrist, but still. It could have been prevented if he had just kept his damn mouth shut!

LovesAsoldier
by on Nov. 21, 2009 at 12:22 AM

Unless he is hurting you or himself. I wold NOT contact his chain of command.

fairymom2316
by on Nov. 21, 2009 at 4:15 PM

I agree with what she says. Also, about him keeping his mouth shut, that's just something he's going to have to work on. If not for himself than he should do it for the family. My husband was very short-tempered when he joined and he stays shut now, even if people get to him. He just doesn't want to risk losing rank or anything because of it. He says it's not worth it.

Quoting dsptchmommy:

Here is the thing with the military. As wives if we over step the bounds they cannot do anything to us...however they can make our husband's lives hell! I would NOT write his Cpt a letter YET. If he is not getting the results from his Sgt then he has every right to go to the next person in his chain of command without getting in trouble. It isn't jumping the chain if he goes through everyone. He can keep going up the chain until he gets to the Cpt. It sounds very much like the Cpt is concerned and cares, so if he goes up his chain and the 1st Sgt doesn't grant his request and he gets to the Cpt he may very well say yes. Granted...you are not active duty and do not have to abide by the chain of command but this is a friendly warning. If you do this they can and very possibly will make your hubby's life miserable. They are good about blowing the tiniest thing out of proportion to do that. Usually in the middle of it they will also be told to "control their wife". Now...of course this depends on the circumstances and unit. When I was married to my Ex his Master Guns gave me his personal cell phone number and home number and told me to my face that if I EVER needed ANYTHING that I could call him. Well, the ex needed some serious anger management and marriage counseling and he refused to go. He was to the point I was fearful for the safety of my daughter and I. I didn't know what else to do so I called Master Guns. He called the ex into his office and MADE him go to the anger management and counseling. He NEVER suffered for my calling, but then Master Guns had an open door policy and he told ALL the spouses the same thing he told me and he meant it. So really it just depends, but if you haven't been told what I was it may be better to play it safe.

As far as him learning to keep his mouth shut....if you figure out how to make that happen would you PLEASE share the secret?????? DH just got himself into some trouble in Iraq for this. Thankfully he got off with a slap on the wrist, but still. It could have been prevented if he had just kept his damn mouth shut!


82ndairbornewif
by on Nov. 21, 2009 at 4:23 PM

don't write any letters dont even get involved. not to sound cold harted but its the military they do what they do. my husband never got to go to any of my sons' appts before surgery after surgery the only reason he was at his actual surgery was because it just so happend to snow that day so they called off work. not to say the military doesnt care about its families because i know they do, but simply put work comes first.

Add your quick reply below:
You must be a member to reply to this post.
Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)