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separation anxiety

Posted by on Jan. 3, 2010 at 2:30 AM
  • 10 Replies

My 18 month old son is having really bad separation anxiety. My husband was a stay at home dad until November when he got activated in the Air Force. Now he is home only on weekends or holidays. Our son was ok with it until about four weeks ago. Now he wont go to bed or take naps without crying for at least an hour. He also freaks out every time dad leaves the house, he seams to be afraid tht his dad will not be there when he wakes up or that he won't come back every time he leaves the house. Help please

by on Jan. 3, 2010 at 2:30 AM
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Replies (1-10):
nemiller
by on Jan. 3, 2010 at 2:38 AM

i would consider looking up information online, checking out parenting books, and talking to your doctor.  i'm sure there's a method to helping a child deal with separation anxiety, but i don't know anything in particular.  my son has always been independent and his separation anxiety was very minimal.  i hope you can find something to soothe your son and help him understand that daddy isn't gone forever just because he's not home.

aSoldierSWifE44
by on Jan. 3, 2010 at 2:53 AM

I think time is the only thing that really works at that age bc they really only grasp what they can see.

My son had the same problem and I got the books and DVD from the spousal supprt people and did they things they suggested, nothing had any effect but time. It lasted a while and got worse before it got better.

Sailorswife24
by on Jan. 3, 2010 at 7:03 AM

thats hard, have you looked into getting him a daddy doll? they are awesome! and your husband can even record a message for you son, might help a little, www.hugahero.com

Late_for_pt_thumb_normalThenavyhasmysailor_normal

mrssquarepnts84
by on Jan. 3, 2010 at 1:16 PM

I'm sorry I know how you feel this has been the toughest three months for me. I have a 20 month old who is going through it too.Daddy is away for school but came home aliitle for Thanksgiving left came back a couple weeks later for Chirstmas then left yesterday again and it kills her one day daddy is here the next he's gone.She wakes up alot of times at 5 in the morning just crying won't take a nap won't go to bed throughs these really bad tantrums.He left to get us lunch the other day she runs to the door yelling DADDY! It confuses her so bad how one daddy can leave and come back but one day he just doesn't come back.

mamagoose524
by on Jan. 3, 2010 at 8:28 PM


Quoting aSoldierSWifE44:

I think time is the only thing that really works at that age bc they really only grasp what they can see.

My son had the same problem and I got the books and DVD from the spousal supprt people and did they things they suggested, nothing had any effect but time. It lasted a while and got worse before it got better.

That's exactly the way it was with my middle son. 

I did everything the "experts" suggested, but nothing worked except TIME. It was very frustrating, & I feel for you.  We didn't have online support groups back in the day when my sons were growing up.  I really did not know anyone whose child suffered from separation anxiety either, & it made me feel like such a failure as a mom.  But that son is now an Army officer stationed in Afghanistan, so he did eventually get over it.  LOL    

Mostly, I want to say don't let anyone lay some sort of guilt trip on you.  Some children have more problems with this than others.  And those parents & "experts" who haven't dealt with it firsthand have no idea how hard it can be on everyone concerned.  Try any advice that sounds good to you that can help your son cope.  Just keep in mind that as hard it is now, it WILL get better!

jordynrsmom2003
by on Jan. 3, 2010 at 10:54 PM

I know at the GFAFB family support they had a DVD with Elmo about parents being deployed. I got it for my DD when she was younger. I am gonna have to keep an eye on this thread because my DH is leaving for 4 month and it will be the longest DD has had to go through.

air force

tanisandrewmom
by on Jan. 4, 2010 at 1:14 AM

i'll have to look into that. thankfully, my husband is stationed at Beale, which is only a hour and a half drive away from home. keep the replies coming, and thanks to everyone who has posted something so far.

fairymom2316
by on Jan. 4, 2010 at 9:28 AM

My daughter had seperation anxiety and she still has it some days. What we did was, we kept reassuring her that mommy/daddy will be back.

What triggered hers was when I went to pick up her dad from homecoming. We were living in another state so I had to travel without the kids to meet him. Once I came back, she would not let me out of her sight! She would even scream and cry if I was in the bathroom, it got so bad! She started Preschool this year and it was so hard leaving her since she would kick and scream and cry. I just kept reassuring her that mommy was going to pick her up later. Soon after that, she would tell me before she went to school, "Mommy is coming back, right?" She got the hang of it now but she still gets anxiety sometimes.

aslforme
by on Jan. 4, 2010 at 10:24 AM

This is what we use with our children. it is a huge bear from toys r us. he wears a Daddy shirt. the kids love to wrestle with him and sleep with him.

Sorry, he is sideways

 

01Clomid.gifdeployment survivor

mamamissy23
by on Jan. 4, 2010 at 10:58 AM
Quoting tanisandrewmom:

My 18 month old son is having really bad separation anxiety. My husband was a stay at home dad until November when he got activated in the Air Force. Now he is home only on weekends or holidays. Our son was ok with it until about four weeks ago. Now he wont go to bed or take naps without crying for at least an hour. He also freaks out every time dad leaves the house, he seams to be afraid tht his dad will not be there when he wakes up or that he won't come back every time he leaves the house. Help please

my daughter is 18 months and the same way...no matter who leaves me or my husband she freaks...today was her first day of daycare...I cried my eyes out bc i saw her so upset....but i have to work, but i think she is ok i havent had any phone calls lol

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