My fiance keeps bringing up that he wants to join the army. He has said things like this for years now and each time I tell him no because I'm too scared for him to go. Lately though I have been thinking about it more and more and I feel it would be a good thing for our family but I'm still very scared and no NOTHING about this.
How did you feel about your SO joining the army?
How do you feel now?
What was the process?
What are the benefits of having him in the army?
The drawbacks?
How is your family life?
Is he gone often?
Are you still scared or have you gotten more comfortable?
What is basic training like?
How has the army treated your family SO?
How does he like it?
Deployment overseas is a big one for me? What is that like?
Ugh I had more questions but my mind just went blank :)
I know these are very personal questions and a lot of questions so I'm sorry and you don't have to answer what you don't want to. I'm just kinda lost. Thanks though!
My DH was already in when we met & got married so the one's about basic I can't answer. We've done 1 15 month deployment (#2 is coming up shortly), it wasn't as bad as I thought HOWEVER having said that my DH's job allowed him lots of computer time (he had internet in his CHU). So we talked a lot. IDK how it would have been if we couldn't talk as much as we did. Benefits are steady job/pay check, insurance, seeing lots of places, meeting lots of ppl. The drawbacks are the time he spends away from home. Also, this depends how u feel about it but your family may be close or far away so they may not be able to help out if you need it. Really the only way it's "tested" us is deployment & like I said b4 that for us wasn't too bad. Depending on his MOS it can be very trying or not so trying. My DH is a machinest so he doesn't go out on missions, he's a FOBit. I hope this helps some.
How did you feel about your SO joining the army? I was completely supportive of my husband joining the Army. He joined after we had been married for about 2 1/2 years. It was a decision we made together.
How do you feel now? 9 1/2 years later and I'm still glad he joined.
What was the process? He spoke to the recruiter, took the ASVAB, had the physical done and went off to basic. After BCT and AIT (job training) we went to our first duty station which was Ft. Benning, Ga.
What are the benefits of having him in the army? Stability (I know we have a pay check coming, I know how much it is and I know he's not going to get laid off) and we know we have medical benefits.
The drawbacks? Deployments and a lot of time away from home.
How is your family life? It's good, the same it would be if we were civilians.
Is he gone often? Yes, my husband is in a unit that deploys 4-6 months every year. Most units aren't like that.
Are you still scared or have you gotten more comfortable? Of course I'm scared every time he gets deployed, he's going to a warzone, but I'm okay with that. It's his job.
What is basic training like? I don't know how it was for my husband (okay, he said it was fun), but I did fine while he was gone. It was the first time I had been on my own (family was 700 miles away) and I was pregnant and had a 2 1/2 y/o, but I did fine.
How has the army treated your family SO? They have been good to him.
How does he like it? He loves it. It doesn't plan on getting out until they kick him out.
Deployment overseas is a big one for me? What is that like? It's scary, but I've kind of gotten used to it. I just keep my life going as normal. It's the only way I survive.
How did you feel about your SO joining the army? At first I was a little hesitant, I know many guys who are enlisted and the thought of him fighting in foreign lands did not sit well with me. I never wanted to be with someone who was in the service.
How do you feel now? I'm much happier now since he joined, it really was a good choice for us. He loves his new job, it's very challenging and he learns something new everyday. This is a very stable position, he's not going to lose it do to cut backs or anything like his old job as a mechanic.
What was the process? We talked, extensively about it, for months before he even went to the recruiter. That made a big difference because we both got to discuss our worries and then we talked to the recruiter about them and he answered all our questions.
What are the benefits of having him in the army? The medical benefits are HUGE! We're all covered 100% and have access to the best facilities in the world. His pay is much better, we have free housing, and we don't have to worry about him getting laid off or getting his hours cut back anymore.
The drawbacks? He leaves for weeks/months at a time for training.
How is your family life? For us it's much better, we are now not living with his parents and we're much more independant and happy. I miss him a lot when he's gone, but we talk at least twice a day on the phone or the computer.
Is he gone often? He hasn't been in the service for that long, so this is really his first time leaving for over a month. It was hard for the first few weeks, I missed him like crazy and the apartment seemed way too quiet and lonely, but I started talking to my neighbors more and making some more friends to take up my extra time.
Are you still scared or have you gotten more comfortable? I'm still worried when he's gone and I don't get to see him every night, but being able to talk to him makes me feel better.
What is basic training like? If your guy follows the rules, keeps his nose clean and doesn't try to get into trouble he'll be fine. Most of the guys who go in are straight out of high school, don't like to listen to anyone and won't follow orders. But the training is really good and it will get them in shape.
How has the army treated your family SO? So far we've been very happy with everything, his commander's have been very helpful and nice.
How does he like it? He loves it for the most part and is planning on making it a career, probably going to try going for special forces soon.
Deployment overseas is a big one for me? Not sure yet as my DH hasn't been deployed yet. Suggest that your SO not sign up as infantry, those are the guys who will get shipped overseas first. My DH is an engineer and they're not sending any overseas right now bc they're not needed there. The recruiter will most likely try to talk your SO into signing up as something they need, like infantry, but he doesn't have to if he has interests in another work field.
How did you feel about your SO joining the army? He'd already been in before, so I knew what it was like to have a DH in the Army and have him out. When he told me he wanted to go back in, I was all for it. It actually felt like a weight was being lifted.
How do you feel now? I still feel good about it. When I think about what it would be like if he were to get out right now, I get nervous. The Armyis our life, and it would be weird not to be connected to it anymore.
What was the process? Since he wa previously in, the process was quick and different than if he was a first-timer. I wasn't with him when he joined the first time, so I have no idea what that was like.
What are the benefits of having him in the army? There are so many! Knowing where the next paycheck is coming from, having the health benefits, having a great, safe house and neighborhood to live in, knowing that he is being held accountable for his actions in his everyday life (some call that nosieness on the Army's part, but I like them looking out for him), the pride I get that other wives don't from my husband's accomplishments, being able to experience ife in a totally different way.
The drawbacks? Everyone will say the deployments and various other separations.
How is your family life? Good. We were on the verge of divorce when he worked in the civilian world, because of the finances, etc. The Army helped our marriage. We are able to have a child that we can give many things to we couldn't have if he didn't go back in.
Is he gone often? As of lately, yes. In the last 45 months, we have been together 17 months.
Are you still scared or have you gotten more comfortable? Still scared. I will always be scared, but the longer we go through this life the more strategies I learn from other wives, and from my own experience as to how to cope.
What is basic training like? N/A
How has the army treated your family SO? In our own experience, they havetreated all of us just fine. We are blessed that we haven't really had any bad experiences with the Army as a whole. DH has been in for 8 years now (off and on) and it's been good.
How does he like it? He has his days where he likes it just fin, but other days where he feels like he's had enough. Whenever he has those, we talk about it and remember how it was on the other side of the fence.
Deployment overseas is a big one for me? What is that like? It's hard, no lie. You go through so many different emotions throughout that time period, but you do find ways to handle the situation that work the best for you and yours. A deployment can make you as and individual and your marriage stronger, or it can tear you and it down. A lot of it depends on what you make of the situation. The thing that you have to remember is that you don't have control over when he leaves, how long he's gone, or when he comes home. The only part you have control over is how you get through.
My fiance keeps bringing up that he wants to join the army. He has said things like this for years now and each time I tell him no because I'm too scared for him to go. Lately though I have been thinking about it more and more and I feel it would be a good thing for our family but I'm still very scared and no NOTHING about this.
How did you feel about your SO joining the army? mine was already in the marines but decided to go with the army when it was time to re enlist
How do you feel now? great = )
What was the process? since he was already military he just went to MEPS and went to his school for his MOS in GA
What are the benefits of having him in the army? the pay isnt bad, the benefits arent bad. for the most part we are taken care of pretty good
The drawbacks? the times you spend apart
How is your family life?its good!
Is he gone often? only during deployment...hes only gone once in the 7 yrs hes been in. hes only actually gone to "the field" like maybe twice since we've been married...thats been almost 4 yrs...but it depends on what unit hes in/MOS
Are you still scared or have you gotten more comfortable? its hard to see him go...it will never be easy to see him go but its something you have to deal with being a military wife
What is basic training like? i dont know, we wasnt together when he joined into the marines, and he didnt have to do basic trianing for the army since he came fromthe marines
How has the army treated your family SO? pretty good so far..im an air force brat as well,my dad was in for 20 yrs..they were always good to use
How does he like it? some days he likes it, some days hes annoyed
Deployment overseas is a big one for me? What is that like? he deployed...i dealt with it
Ugh I had more questions but my mind just went blank :)
I know these are very personal questions and a lot of questions so I'm sorry and you don't have to answer what you don't want to. I'm just kinda lost. Thanks though!
When he joined I felt scared at first because I know he joined for the sole purpose of taking care of our family. I just didnt want to lose him.
I dislike alot of things about it to be honest, I take pride in my husband and all that he does, but there are a fair share of jackasses in the army.
The process in our situation was a speedy deployment, we needed the money.
The benefits are we will never go without a home or utilities.
The drawbacks are were stuck in crappy weather,and its hard to go out and do things. Also not having your husband around.
Family life is great when my husband is home, We try and spend as much time together as possible, but with his job its hard.
He is gone all the time.
Im stilled scared I dont think you can be completely comfortable with deployments,regardless on how many youve been through, but you have to stay strong.
Basic was easy I got alot of letters almost everyday, but no phone calls.
My husband is getting out if that answers your question, it would depend on your husbands unit and all that to determine if he would like it or not.
Deployments are long and painful, if you keep yourself busy it helps.
Quoting Caitlinsmom09:How did you feel about your SO joining the army? My DH had already been enlisted 2 1/2 years when we got married so I don't know what it's like to go from a civilian wife to a military wife.
How do you feel now? It has it's ups and downs but overall I like being a military family.
What was the process? N/A for us. We got married, he added me as a dependent, got my ID card and insurance, then he left for Iraq the next month!
What are the benefits of having him in the army? Just FYI if you are not married YOU get NO benefits. Only spouses get benefits. Well for one job security. The pay isn't great starting out but there are a lot of perks a civilian job doesn't offer such as health insurance at no cost, low cost dental insurance, housing allowance, access to discounts, etc. We do fine on E-4 pay with 2 kids but my DH also has 6 yrs in service too. Your SO can make E-4 within 2 yrs at least, 18 months with a waiver.
The drawbacks? The separation definitely. We've been married almost 4 yrs and have spent more than half our marriage apart with his deployments and training. It's hard. And you realize the Army comes first no matter what.
How is your family life? We have a great family life but it's hard doing EVERYTHING by myself when he's gone.
Is he gone often? He's done one unaccompanied tour to S. Korea before we were married for a year. 15 month deployment to Iraq just after we got married, and now he's almost done with a 12 month deployment to Afghanistan. He also does various schools and training missions when not deployed. Before he deployed to Afghan, he had one month of training, one month of school, and several field exercises lasting 2-3 weeks each. It was a LOT.
Are you still scared or have you gotten more comfortable? You never fully get used to it but staying busy is the best thing you can do. And if you are lucky, good communication with your SO down range.
What is basic training like? My Dh did it back in 2004. Things have changed and the training is being revamped somewhat. Basically he said you get through it and do what you have to do.
How has the army treated your family SO? Well I wish I could say he's had awesome leadership and everything has been great but that's not the case. This is his take on it and I wouldn't know since I don't go to work with him everyday. I know what he tells me. There is a lot of miscommunication, a lot of disorganization, a lot of ass kissing, and basically if the senior leadership doesn't like you then forget about getting picked up for awards or promotion. My Dh is promotable but his issue currently is his MOS is overstrengthed and points are really high.
How does he like it? At the moment not so much but he's deployed and he always gets kind of pissy about the military when deployed. But the consensus lately has been he wants to get out and not re-enlist but we'll see. The economy being so bad right now scares me.
Deployment overseas is a big one for me? What is that like? LONG and HARD.
Quoting Caitlinsmom09:
My fiance keeps bringing up that he wants to join the army. He has said things like this for years now and each time I tell him no because I'm too scared for him to go. Lately though I have been thinking about it more and more and I feel it would be a good thing for our family but I'm still very scared and no NOTHING about this.
How did you feel about your SO joining the army? I didnt want him to go he left a month after dd 1 was born
How do you feel now? I like it just not the deployments
What was the process? go to a recruiters then go to meps to take the asvab then sign his contract however tell him NOT to sign up for 6 yrs off the back no matter what they might say well if you do it 6 yrs u will get the highest bonus LIE my dh got fooled with that and got the same bonus as someone with 2 yrs enlistment. the reason i say not to let him do six years is bc if he discovers its not for him he is stuck in it for 5 years
What are the benefits of having him in the army?
The drawbacks? deployments
How is your family life? well........not the greatest the military has trained him that when a friend calls needing his dick to be scratched you better be the first one there to do it. im sorry if that offends anyone but thats how i feel he has a friend that calls and says hey come hang out with me so he drops all plans he had with his family that day to go with his friend just to play video games when he had other stuff planned with his wife and kids. then his friends feel bad when they find this out and are like dude you could have said no u had plans and it would have been fine. kwim but maybe your dh will be better than mine and realize if its not an emergency that its ok to say sorry i have plans
Is he gone often? not really
Are you still scared or have you gotten more comfortable? at first i was scared escpically with the deployments but now im not
What is basic training like? THE WORDS FROM MY DH HERE "ITS A MIND GAME JUST REMEMBER ITS A MIND GAME AND YOU WILL BE FINE" my dh wants to go throught basic again he LOVED it he actually wants to be a drill sgt.
How has the army treated your family SO? it depends ok my dd has some medical issues we are just now finding out about and one sgt doesnt want to let him off for appts that he needs to be at but then when we let his cpt know what is going on (the cpt asked we keep him updated) he allows dh to go and the sgt gets pissed saying we skipped coc when we didnt we just updated the cpt like he asked us too
How does he like it? he likes it
Deployment overseas is a big one for me? What is that like? our first deployment went by fast you will have your fights but if you truely love each other then everything will be fine. You have to have trust in each other no matter what. and its hard but if you have trust thats what counts. there are some wives in our unit who's dh cheated on them and TO THIS DAY are still cheating on them and THEY DONT KNOW IT now my dh that doesnt happen with he is on a tight leash with me.
Ugh I had more questions but my mind just went blank :)
I know these are very personal questions and a lot of questions so I'm sorry and you don't have to answer what you don't want to. I'm just kinda lost. Thanks though!
ARE YOU AN ARMY WIVES FAN??? IF SO NEW SEASON STARTS APRIL 11
Quoting JMCorbin84:
How did you feel about your SO joining the army? At first I was a little hesitant, I know many guys who are enlisted and the thought of him fighting in foreign lands did not sit well with me. I never wanted to be with someone who was in the service.
How do you feel now? I'm much happier now since he joined, it really was a good choice for us. He loves his new job, it's very challenging and he learns something new everyday. This is a very stable position, he's not going to lose it do to cut backs or anything like his old job as a mechanic.
What was the process? We talked, extensively about it, for months before he even went to the recruiter. That made a big difference because we both got to discuss our worries and then we talked to the recruiter about them and he answered all our questions.
What are the benefits of having him in the army? The medical benefits are HUGE! We're all covered 100% and have access to the best facilities in the world. His pay is much better, we have free housing, and we don't have to worry about him getting laid off or getting his hours cut back anymore.
The drawbacks? He leaves for weeks/months at a time for training.
How is your family life? For us it's much better, we are now not living with his parents and we're much more independant and happy. I miss him a lot when he's gone, but we talk at least twice a day on the phone or the computer.
Is he gone often? He hasn't been in the service for that long, so this is really his first time leaving for over a month. It was hard for the first few weeks, I missed him like crazy and the apartment seemed way too quiet and lonely, but I started talking to my neighbors more and making some more friends to take up my extra time.
Are you still scared or have you gotten more comfortable? I'm still worried when he's gone and I don't get to see him every night, but being able to talk to him makes me feel better.
What is basic training like? If your guy follows the rules, keeps his nose clean and doesn't try to get into trouble he'll be fine. Most of the guys who go in are straight out of high school, don't like to listen to anyone and won't follow orders. But the training is really good and it will get them in shape.
How has the army treated your family SO? So far we've been very happy with everything, his commander's have been very helpful and nice.
How does he like it? He loves it for the most part and is planning on making it a career, probably going to try going for special forces soon.
Deployment overseas is a big one for me? Not sure yet as my DH hasn't been deployed yet. Suggest that your SO not sign up as infantry, those are the guys who will get shipped overseas first. My DH is an engineer and they're not sending any overseas right now bc they're not needed there. The recruiter will most likely try to talk your SO into signing up as something they need, like infantry, but he doesn't have to if he has interests in another work field.
My husband's an engineer and he's over there.
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just one letter! thats all i ask.
- Caitlinsmom09
on Mar. 21, 2010 at 1:27 PM