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What do you do to prepare kids for relocation?

Posted by on Apr. 1, 2010 at 9:30 AM
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I ask this question because we have only lived in one state and not too far from either DH or I's family. Recently Dh has been talking about his base getting closed down due to BRAC and we may have to move to another state for work. He is in the ANG and works full time on base as a civilian M-F. I'm scared to death of moving out of state, but worry about how hard it will be on our children. I knkow if it was just him and I there would be no fears for me to move. Right now he is looking at going to Alaska or possibly to AZ or Utah. Those are just a few places he has mentioned to me. He doesn't like to discuss it a whole lot with me, the possible job loss, but will ask how I feel about a certain location. We have 4 girls, one will be 15 in about 7 more days, 5 yr (will be 6 in May) and twins who are 2 1/2. Our twins have pretty bad medical issues as well, they have a Laryngeal cleft which cacuses them to aspirate liquids into their lungs unless it is as think as honey, as well as pretty bad breathing issues due to the aspiration. I feel that the twins and possible our 5yr will adjust Ok, just not sure about our teenager?!?!? If we do relocate how can I prepare them???

 

 DH is a SSgt and F-16 crewchief in the ANG. Couldn't be more proud of him!!! He is my best friend, soul mate, and a wonderful father!!!

by on Apr. 1, 2010 at 9:30 AM
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amberdy
by on Apr. 1, 2010 at 9:55 AM

The little ones should be fine, just treat it like an adventure for them.  But, also make sure your husband chooses a place that has appropriate medical facilities for the twins.  The 15 y/o will be the hard one.  My son is 15 now and we moved from Washington to Georgia last summer and he hated it and has since moved to Jersey to live with his dad.  I tried to make it a positive thing for him, but nothing I did worked.  I tried to be really positive about the move, tell him it was best for all of us and part of being a military family, etc.  Good luck, I hope it goes better for you.  Sorry, I couldn't be of more help, I just realized how negative it all sounds.

brennajoy
by on Apr. 1, 2010 at 10:05 AM

 Here is an article on children's book about moving I found.

You got to move it, move it

If your family is pulling up stakes, check out these books to help kids with the move.

By Valle Dwight
 

You’ve found a bigger house or gotten a great job in another town or decided to try cheaper pastures, so it’s time to pack the boxes and get a move on. But no matter the reason (or whether it’s across town or across the country), moving can be an uncertain and stressful time for everyone, especially your kids. They may have a range of fears about leaving behind their friends, school, or bedroom.

So before you stock up on bubble wrap, talk to your kids about the move. To help get the conversation started, here are some books that deal with all the issues and emotions relocating can stir up.

Toddler through kindergarten

Moving House
By Anne Civardi, illustrated by Stephen Cartwright
UsBorne (2005), $4.99

This is one of the Usborne First Experiences books, and it takes a factual, positive approach to moving. For young kids who are wondering what to expect when they relocate, this is a nice, straightforward choice. You won’t find any value judgments (nothing about how much fun it is to make new friends or how hard it is to leave behind old ones), just a simple outline of what happens when you move.

Preschool through second grade

I Like Where I Am
By Jessica Harper, illustrated by G. Brian Karas
G. P. Putnam's Sons ( 2004), $14.39

“Cause I like my room and I like my school/And we live real close to a swimming pool/And my best friend lives around the block. /Why move to a place called Little Rock/ Anyway?"

This is a great, up-tempo book about a boy who is sad to be moving away from all the things he loves. The rhythm of the text holds throughout the book, making it a fun one to read out loud. The story follows a familiar arc, with the boy ultimately coming to appreciate the good things about his new home while still treasuring the old.

Mr. Rogers Moving
By Fred Rogers
G P Putnam (first edition, 1987), $7

Mr. Rogers is all about neighborhoods, so who better to turn to when you have to move out of one? Unlike other books on moving, this one isn’t a story but has a more direct approach — it explains the changes children might see when relocating (packing, the moving van, etc.) and addresses the emotions they may be feeling. Mr. Rogers points out the excitement about the new place and reassures kids that they can stay in touch with old friends by calling and writing letters (the book predates email!). And as always, he has words we can all live by: “Wherever you are, you’re still the same person.”

Preschool through third grade

Alexander, Who's Not (Do You Hear Me? I Mean It!) Going to Move
By Judith Viorst, illustrated by Robin Preiss Glasser
Atheneum (1998), $6.99

Leave behind his soccer team, his best friend, and the cool neighbors who give out great candy at Halloween? Not going to happen. Or so says Alexander, a boy whose family is moving 1,000 miles away. And he puts up a pretty good fight, until he ultimately realizes (after much reassurance from his patient parents) that there will be good things on the other end of this move. Kids may identify with (and get a chuckle out of) the slightly subversive Alexander, and they’ll learn along with him that moving has its upsides too.

Kindergarten through second grade

Tooter Pepperday
By Jerry Spinelli
Random House (2004), $3.99

Tooter Pepperday is not going to stand for this ill-conceived move from her home to her aunt’s farm, where there’s no cable TV and no — gasp! — pizza delivery. No, she has plans to sabotage this ridiculous idea. Tooter eventually comes around to farm life, but not until an egg she has been charged with tending hatches.

Kindergarten through third grade

Henry and Mudge and Annie’s Good Move
By Cynthia Rylant, illustrated by Sucie Stevenson
Aladdin (2000), $3.99

Henry and his slobbery hunk of a mutt, Mudge, are not moving, but Henry’s cousin Annie is. While Henry is excited about getting a new next-door neighbor, Annie is feeling the strain of leaving her friends and school. Henry and Mudge help ease her into her new place and make it a real home.

Third through sixth grade

Moving Day
By Ralph Fletcher, illustrated by Jennifer Emery
Wordsong (2007), $9.95

This book will appeal to older kids, as it goes deeper into some of the sadness and angst moving can bring up for adolescents. The story, told in a series of poems, follows 12-year-old Fletch as he comes to terms with his move from Massachusetts to Ohio. It’s a beautiful, evocative book, exploring his feelings of loss and fear. Each poem brings him closer to the move, and kids can see how his emotions evolve in the process. Though the book is sad in parts, it ends with a sense of hope for the new life Fletch is building in his new home.

violinjewel
by Julia on Apr. 1, 2010 at 3:40 PM

I think the younger kids will find it pretty exciting to move. Your older one may get bored along the way, but maybe if she has books, magazines, music she likes to listen to on the way, it will help. I would just make sure ahead of time that there are medical facilities to take care of your twins when they need it, in the new area you're moving too.

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