Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)

"good" husbands cheat too when deployed...

Posted by on Apr. 13, 2010 at 3:32 PM
  • 231 Replies

Is it true that even the faithful husbands cheat while they are overseas, i have heard this a lot. I trust my husband, but I can't help that thought cross my mind.... ladies what do you think??

in lovepuppy~~~~~~  CHRISTINA  ~~~~~~  toddler boybutterfly

by on Apr. 13, 2010 at 3:32 PM
Add your quick reply below:
You must be a member to reply to this post.
Replies (1-10):
violinjewel
by Julia on Apr. 13, 2010 at 3:39 PM

I don't believe that everyone cheats while they're overseas. Its a stereotype to me. My husband just got back from his deployment, and he didn't cheat. I have complete faith and love in my husband, and he has that with me. I have plenty of friends whose husbands have been overseas, and they didn't cheat either. I think it depends a lot on a person's morals, and how seriously they take their relationship that will cause them to cheat, and this goes for both the husband and the wife.

chrlstoncharmed
by Melissa on Apr. 13, 2010 at 3:39 PM

I think it is something you have to talk about with your husband. I know I did. Tell him your fears. Talk about potential consequences. Make a vow of committment together. Talk about it all in advance so you don't make yourself crazy while he's gone.



kristinlimon
by on Apr. 13, 2010 at 3:41 PM

So not true. I trust my husband 110% that he wont cheat on me. I know that he wouldn't jeopardize this for a quick piece of a$$. lol He didn't cheat last deployment even when he saw his ex-gf and she begged him for sex. (and he'll tell you that while he loved me he wasn't in love with me so that should say a lot right there)

MissG9
by on Apr. 13, 2010 at 3:43 PM

Saying 'faithful husband's' cheat, is contradictory.

He's not faithful if he cheats.

My husband would never cheat. Overseas, or here. He made a vow. And, I've made mine. And, that goes for many other, truly faithful, husbands. It goes deeper than trust; we work at our relationship-because, we never want to get so wrapped up in life that we forget why we fell in love, got married, and decided to share our lives together.

The only advice I have, is for you to discuss your fears with your husband. Let him know that this thought is in your mind. I'm sure, together, you can kick those fears out of your mind. If your relationship is healthy, strong...you'll be okay.

 




And, there is no combination of words I could say...




But, I'll tell you one thing, it's always better when we're together.
cat323
by on Apr. 13, 2010 at 3:43 PM

I TOTALLY believe this...why......because my DH, who everyone thot was the perfect doating husband..... cheated on me....not while deployed (that I know of but I sure do wonder), (he is retired now) it was last August, was a one time deal, he claims...it was all of 15 mins while she "took care" of him....he says it was like a john/hooker type deal, whatever he calls it i call it cheating...he shocked everyone we know to the point my g/f's have said if he cheated then anyone will! honestly Im still shocked talking about it because we had really gone through a rough yr and last spring we started turning things around then wham! So yes unfortunately I believe this is true....not that they went looking for it or planned on doing it, but it happens to the best of us! Like the rest of the pp's I truly trusted him completely.....110%.....never saw this coming......while he admitted it right away to our pastors and to myself and our sons, family and friends.......it is still something he VOWED never to happen and well never say never......and we will be married 24yrs this coming May so its not like hes a young guy going after a piece of something he was 48 and so was she.....5yrs my senior!

I agree talk to him tell him your fears but Im sorry it can happen to anyone!

Cat mom of 4 sons...Steve AD ARMY    Andy NASCAR   Jordan Criminal justice   Kyle jr in high school


Married to Steve retired Mstr Sgt (23 yrs duty) and an EC Deputy Sheriff





marinesweetie
by on Apr. 13, 2010 at 3:47 PM

 i know afew of the ppl in dhs squadron cheated on their spouses during the last deployment they were on bc theyd all go to DH asking for advice on how to fix their marriage & his response was always idk ive never cheated, he tells them his vows say he'll be faithful (we wrote our own vows) and I trust that he will be.

asaffell
by on Apr. 13, 2010 at 3:48 PM

I definitely don't believe that every man will cheat, or even that most will. My husband did while he was not overseas. One thing that I've learned is that the biggest indicator is your relationship. We took each other for granted a lot before the affair. Not to say that very marriage with infidelity is similar to mine, but I think that the BEST strategy is to avoid getting nervous, anxious, or jealous. Build your relationship more, talk more, trust more. Remind each other why you committed in the first place. Trust me, that's the only way to prevent it.

MissG9
by on Apr. 13, 2010 at 3:51 PM

 This.

Quoting asaffell:

I definitely don't believe that every man will cheat, or even that most will. My husband did while he was not overseas. One thing that I've learned is that the biggest indicator is your relationship. We took each other for granted a lot before the affair. Not to say that very marriage with infidelity is similar to mine, but I think that the BEST strategy is to avoid getting nervous, anxious, or jealous. Build your relationship more, talk more, trust more. Remind each other why you committed in the first place. Trust me, that's the only way to prevent it.

 

 




And, there is no combination of words I could say...




But, I'll tell you one thing, it's always better when we're together.
jkmeier8909
by on Apr. 13, 2010 at 3:51 PM

i wouldn't believe all that you hear. there are ALOT of rumors in the military. saying that even faithful husbands cheat when overseas is kinda like saying all women in the military are whores. at least thats how i look at it. and IMO if a husband is going to cheat he's going to do it whether he's here or there. if you trust your hubby and he's never done anything to make you question whether he would cheat or not, i wouldn't worry about it.

amberdy
by on Apr. 13, 2010 at 3:52 PM

I don't believe everyone cheats while they are gone.  I won't lie, I do get a little paranoid while he's gone, but deep down I know he's not going to do anything to hurt me.   There are always going to be those people that cheat, but to say everyone cheats over there is a lie.  That would be like saying every wife will cheat when her husband is deployed.  It's simply not true.

Add your quick reply below:
You must be a member to reply to this post.
Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)