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what would u tell a new military spouse

Posted by on Jun. 13, 2010 at 3:01 PM
  • 18 Replies

my nephew is in AIT and he is especting a baby in Nov. Just wondering what I should "warn" his spouse about.

Thanks for the help

01Clomid.gifdeployment survivor

by on Jun. 13, 2010 at 3:01 PM
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by on Jun. 13, 2010 at 3:05 PM

Get your kid in DEERS ASAP. Do not procrastinate. I let DH procrastinate with our first...he didnt get in until he was 2 months old. I was furious.

Be wary of other military wives. Some are really amazing people, but just like the civilian world, some are just gossipy back stabbers.

Be strong, build a good support network. Try to get involved with your husband's unit. These things will all help when he deploys. You won't feel so alone, and you will know others who know how you feel.

Do not freak out if the last few weeks before a deployment are not as happy as it could be. You will probably fight, you will probably feel distant. This is all normal.

I have tons of advice....but this is what I can think of right now. lol.

by on Jun. 13, 2010 at 3:07 PM

IDK about "warning" but it's my firm belief that all military spouses should know...there will be a lot of bad days...there will be a lot of GREAT cannot plan anything, because your plans will change so many times it's unreal. Always make the best of your time with your spouse because you never know if something will happen and they'll be sent to deploy sooner than expected, etc.

During deployment, find something to keep you busy. I find writing to be therapeutic as well. I had a notebook where I would write to my DH and then during the middle of deployment on his R&R, I gave it to him to read when he got back. And then of course I wrote some more in a new notebook.

by on Jun. 13, 2010 at 3:28 PM

Aside from preparing his spouse, make sure he knows that he needs to communicate with her and let her know what he does all day, even if it means explaining a thousand acronyms. And she should also be willing to listen and understand (or try to understand). Communication is the most important thing in my opinion. It is in any marriage, but especially with the military.

Like others have said, some days are good, some not so much. Things change at the drop of a hat. Along with communication, having a sense of humor is very important. It is what you make it, and things can be awesome if you let them be.

by Amber on Jun. 13, 2010 at 5:31 PM
These are all great advise.
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by on Jun. 13, 2010 at 8:03 PM

To join the FRG those women, especially key callers know everything or where to find it.

Make sure you use all your posts resources, I loved the AFTB classes when I first got married, and I am an AF brat.

To make sure she stands up for herself if she uses a military hopsital, because they like to forget about you since they have so many others to deal with.

by on Jun. 13, 2010 at 10:04 PM

Quoting NickLukeandEmma:

Be flexible. You can't break if you know how to bend.

This has got to be one of the best things I have ever heard....and VERY true...

by on Jun. 13, 2010 at 11:00 PM

i don't want to repeat things that everyone else has said. she just needs to be prepared for anything to happen. and like everyone else said don't make plans because things can ALWAYS change. believe me been there done that quite a few times and i've only been a military wive for a little over a year.

by on Jun. 13, 2010 at 11:00 PM
What is DEERS?
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by on Jun. 13, 2010 at 11:08 PM

Other military wives like PP said. Whoa. IMO its worse than the 'civi world' andand worst then high school.

Never shop at the commissary. Its not worth my stress lol.

I don't think its as hard as many people make it out to be, so don't be too scared.

I like to help my husband pack and ready for field training bc its that much more time we get together.

1-1.5 year deployments are really nothing compared to forever. They will be over before you know it don't dwell, go on with life, continue to love, smile everyday.

Focus on the kids, it a huge change and challenge for them.


by on Jun. 13, 2010 at 11:10 PM

I guess a quick way to describe it is its how they keep track of you/your service member and their eligibility for insurance.

the child needs to be in DEERS in order for tricare (mil insurance) to pay for anything.

Quoting AirForceWife14:

What is DEERS?

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