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Where did the friends go?

Posted by on Jul. 12, 2010 at 1:51 PM
  • 8 Replies

Just needed to vent/whine a bit as I'm feeling a bit sorry for myself and may just be overreacting with pregnant hormones...

DH left beginning of March for BCT and is now across the country doing AIT and will be back for a visit mid-September before moving to his MOS.  Due to financial reasons we are staying home (where I've lived for the past 12 years) and have lots of friends.  I'm due with (surprise) baby no. 4 October 21 and may just be a little bit hormonally crazy right now.  Anyway my sadness stems from the fact that since DH left I've seen barely any of my friends.  These are people that I had over to my house 2-3 times a month (for years) and many of whom I would see several times a week at class (we did martial arts together).  I've since stopped going to class due to some sciatic problems and severe fatigue.

These people were my friends for years and they are just so "busy" now that I hardly hear from any of them and it makes me really sad.  This year I find myself having to go through A LOT of changes: my DS who is 18 is leaving for the marines in November, I'm expecting another baby in October, my DH is across the country and we only get to speak sparingly daily and when I'm not at work my 14 month old DS and 4 year old DS are hanging on me all the time.  It would be fabulous to have a grown adult (besides my mom) to chat with and share loneliness, happiness, daily events with and yet they are all too busy.  Am I overreacting?  I have attempted to invite them over for a movie night and dinner like we used to do but they are all busy until (I've been informed) August 6.  I mean, every night and weekend is booked for a month?  All of my friends?  But they all have followed this information with the fact that if I need anything, they'd love to help.  Uh yeah, I need a hug, a friend, someone to chat with but apparently you're too busy! 

Has anyone else experienced this?  I know it isn't because I've complained too much as I've been probably a little too stoic over being alone right now but this pregnancy has been really hard on me and I could use a friend.

by on Jul. 12, 2010 at 1:51 PM
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Replies (1-8):
by Julia on Jul. 12, 2010 at 2:03 PM

I know a few people like this. Not all my friends, just a few. Sorry for what you're going through. By the way, your new baby is due on my daughter's birthday:) Congrats on the new little one.

by on Jul. 12, 2010 at 3:26 PM


by on Jul. 12, 2010 at 3:43 PM

Oh when my husband left for basic(and through a-school) all my friend blew me off. I invited them to the mall, over to my house, name it. They would say they would, then the day of stand me up. I had a few relatives that are close to my age that stood me up multiple times too. It hurts, but I just learned to be by myself!

by on Jul. 12, 2010 at 4:02 PM

This happens to a lot of people. I think honestly, that many people who have no affiliation with the military just can't quite understand the lifestyle, so they separate themselves from it. They may not be able to relate and feel that you all have moved in different directions. I'm sorry you are going through this- especially now. However- you do have a lot of women in this group who will gladly listen and support you. :)

by on Jul. 12, 2010 at 4:03 PM

I felt like this when hubby was deployed. I remember most of my family members told my husband to not worry about us that they would be there for us. I hardly saw them throughout the deployment. I'm glad that for this upcoming one, I was able to move to his duty station because I have made great friends and I know we could be there for each other when the guys are gone. Sorry your going through this {{HUGS}}

by Nikki on Jul. 12, 2010 at 5:36 PM


by on Jul. 13, 2010 at 12:12 PM

Thanks for all of the support!  It's really nice to have. I'm surprised that this has happened to so many of us! 

by on Jul. 13, 2010 at 12:27 PM

 My husband is deployed until November.....we just got married in April and got pregnant shortly there after. I moved thousands of miles away from friends to stay with his family who i just met and i too am struggling with being on my own with very little to no support. Keep your chin up! You are not alone  ;)

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