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:(

Posted by on Aug. 7, 2010 at 10:17 PM
  • 7 Replies

I kind of just feel like barfing right now, I'm so terrified and freaked out.

DH has been hearing rumors of where he'll be during his next deployment. Both of us like to look up info on the places we hear, like maps and news stories. He has heard a rumor of a place that is supposedly on his soldier's orders and I looked it up. It's in one of the worst areas they could have placed him. This is Afghanistan btw, not Iraq.

It'll be his second deployment and I'm just terrified of losing him. I think last deployment (our first) really broke me down a lot and now that the next is coming up fast, I'm starting to break down all over again. I know that some of the feelings are normal, but sometimes I just feel like I'm not as strong as I should be.

I obviously cannot control where he goes or stop him from going. I feel that I'd rather be informed than keep myself blissfully unaware and be blindsided by news I accidentally see. I can handle being separated from my DH. I just need help trying to handle my emotions. It seems like they always get the best of me. Any tips?

by on Aug. 7, 2010 at 10:17 PM
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Replies (1-7):
kgmom23
by on Aug. 7, 2010 at 10:23 PM

I am so sorry that he is going back again.  Your feelings are completely normal and you have every right for being upset, sad, angry, scared and every other emotion there is.  I find the best thing to do is talk to him, but vent to us and your other military girlfriends.  We are the ones who truly get it and will never say "I don't know how you do it - I never could..."  Hang in there and keep us updated.  Hugs!!

nemiller
by on Aug. 7, 2010 at 10:26 PM

have you considered seeing a therapist?  i think your feelings are completely normal and you have every right to feel the way you do.  fear is just part of the package deal.  but maybe if you had an unbiased ear to listen and help you come up with some ideas for dealing with it, you could at least talk it out instead of internalizing it.

usmclife58
by Nikki on Aug. 7, 2010 at 10:38 PM

I like to know about where my husband is going as well - good and bad. And it is normal for what you are feeling. Maybe try some serious cardio and end it with some yoga. Get your emotions out with the cardio and then calm and center yourself with the yoga. Talking with a counselor may help, or if you would rather keep it more personal, start keeping a journal. Just don't keep it in because you will get overwhelmed and your emotions will take you down.

And you know we are always here for you as well :)

LancesMom
by on Aug. 7, 2010 at 11:09 PM

hugs

tangleballlover
by on Aug. 7, 2010 at 11:17 PM

Thanks ladies. Of course, my breakdown has passed, but I know the second my husband comes in the door (he's pulling gate guard), it'll start all over again. I think the worst part of all, is that my husband is my best friend. When I feel weakened, he is the one person who can bring me back. And that doesn't help when he's the one that is away and I'm worrying about. LOL

I've been thinking for a while of going to see a therapist. I know I'm not depressed. But I feel like I'm not as put together as I used to be, that's for sure.

jkleinman
by on Aug. 7, 2010 at 11:51 PM

Every one gets worried and scared when deployments come up and while their loved one is deployed.  That is normal.  I've been best friends with DD's father for his entire military career of 10 years.  He's now on his 4th deployment.  Every deployment he has gone on I have stopped watching the news.  I don't want the news to tell me that something happened to him.  I would rather hear it from his family.  Needless to say it's been over 2 years since I've watched the news because he got back from a 15 month deployment July 13, 2009 and redeployed January 31, 2010 for another 10 months.  You're definitely not alone, but I always recommend having a good support system to be there for you when you're having a hard time.  It will help get you through the time.  I'll keep you in my thoughts during the coming deployment.

violinjewel
by Julia on Aug. 8, 2010 at 12:23 AM
Hugs.
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