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Military Families Military Families

Fine -- we'll take it to a debate post so as not to hurt anyone's feelings

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Alright, I'm sure we all know there's a s**t-stirring post on here... I'd like to know why people who have dhs who deploy are supposed to suck it down and not make others feel "bad" because they don't.

so, let's bring it all here. i can take the heat and i won't delete this post. but, the time has come to get this one out in the open and over with.

oh, and let's throw in that "which branch has it harder" crap too.

vent away. cookies will be awarded to the biggest bitch.

 

if there's another issue similar to these, bring it on too. if we're here to support one another, that's through good and bad, honestly, without any smoke up the ass.

by on Jan. 28, 2011 at 3:42 PM
Replies (21-30):
Sara.Worthey
by Gold Member on Jan. 28, 2011 at 4:03 PM

I am tired of everytime a spouse who's husband isn't deployed, those that's husband's are attacking her for venting. For example, the recruiter's wife who has gone through deployments saying that recruiting is harder on her marriage than deployment.

I am tired of having to feel that I have hold my issues in because my husband hasn't deployed. I am NOT less of an Army wife. He is not less of a soldier. He still helps to keep the battalion running for a post that always has one brigade gone, one getting ready to deploy, and one that just got back. 


Cavalrybaby02
by on Jan. 28, 2011 at 4:04 PM
1 mom liked this

I'm so not a bitch, so I will suck at this.

But why make anyone feel bad?  Unless they are purposefully avoiding deployment, which pisses me off beyond belief, why is it a big deal? Some people just get lucky and never deploy.  Some get sent on assignments where they don't deploy for a short period of time.

Isn't every job important?  Whether you get shot at or you do paperwork or you train soldiers, everyone's job contributes to the fight.

And does it matter what he does when he's deployed?  Can a wife whose DH deploys for a year, but is in a fairly safe place complain?  If she can't complain why can a wife whose DH deploys for 2-4 months complain? 

As far as which branch has it harder...I don't know. 

Air Force is supposed to be the easiest and best branch, but I've heard a lot lately about how they aren't so family friendly. 

The Navy deploys whether we are at war or not, which would suck. 

The Marines deploy for shorter period of time than the Army but more frequently. 

The Army has the longest deployments, but they also generally get a year between them (we had about 10.5 months between two of DH's, though).

I can say as a new military wife I thought that those with short deployments were being crybabies.  If I can do it for a year, why are you crying over a couple of months?  But I have since changed my mind on that.  Gone is gone.  Everything is relative. 

asaffell
by Ashley on Jan. 28, 2011 at 4:05 PM

RAH

Quoting usmclife58:

The USMC is THE best branch. Ever.


"Anti-intellectualism has been a constant thread winding its way
through our political and cultural life, nurtured by the false notion
that democracy means that
'my ignorance is just as good as your knowledge.'"

- ISAAC ASIMOV

NickLukeandEmma
by Courtney on Jan. 28, 2011 at 4:06 PM

 It just makes me mad and I don't know. Physically ill.

Quoting chrlstoncharmed:

Thank you. 

Quoting NickLukeandEmma:

 I also think, no I know, that I have some of the bravest friends in the world. Who have gone through so much more than some of you can imagine and still have so much more to go through and don't bitch about any of it. Things that some people on here fail to believe actually happen for one reason or another and it irritates the piss out of me. Bitching that your husband has to work past five while people sit at Walter Reed not knowing if their loved one will ever come home with them, while people sit at Arlington and cling to headstones in grief and yet some people here compare recruiting duty to combat deployments.

 

 

SarahJean70
by on Jan. 28, 2011 at 4:06 PM

No, you aren't any less. But, I'm tired of being told to walk on eggshells because I might hurt someone's feelings.


 

Quoting Sara.Worthey:

I am tired of everytime a spouse who's husband isn't deployed, those that's husband's are attacking her for venting. For example, the recruiter's wife who has gone through deployments saying that recruiting is harder on her marriage than deployment.

I am tired of having to feel that I have hold my issues in because my husband hasn't deployed. I am NOT less of an Army wife. He is not less of a soldier. He still helps to keep the battalion running for a post that always has one brigade gone, one getting ready to deploy, and one that just got back. 



usmclife58
by Nikki on Jan. 28, 2011 at 4:06 PM

In all seriousness:

I am a whiner. I admit it. But I try to be careful about it because there are SO many people that have it worse than I do. I truly believe that I have been a little too blessed; like Someone has lost count of all the good things in my life.

Until this last few months, my husband has been gone more than he has been home (it is about equal now). But at least he came home. He has a spot of PTSD, but it is not debilitating. I am able to stay at home with my daughters. We have many material things. I complain that my husband's job sometimes screws him over, but at least he has a job and we do not have to worry about feeding our children. And, if nothing else, I have the best children in the entire world. I don't think anyone would ever be able to convince me otherwise.

NickLukeandEmma
by Courtney on Jan. 28, 2011 at 4:07 PM
1 mom liked this

 Only if you post what each medal is for so I don't have to google them one by one.

Quoting SarahJean70:

Ok, I'm tired of feeling guilty BECAUSE my husband deploys.

God forbid, I hurt someone's feelings because my husband has put his life on the line who knows how many times.

Oh, now I'm bragging. Yes, next, I'll post a pic of all his medals.

 

TippyD
by Gold Member on Jan. 28, 2011 at 4:07 PM
I am sick of other wives bitching about how my hubby isn't in danger and my fears being blwoen off because he isn't on a f'ing war zone.
Posted on CafeMom Mobile
seraphimsong
by on Jan. 28, 2011 at 4:07 PM

Ahahahah this post is AWESOME! My hubby in USAF and WANTS to deploy!! But they messed up his paperwork and listed him as non deployable. They just fixed it but his rotation already left :(  I don't really care whether he is deployed or not, he is a fire fighter - his job is just as risky here as it is there. I am so proud of all the guys no matter if they're are home or away, but yes, quit bitching that your hubby works late when there are people that may never see theirs again, or see them again but they are drastically different! Being deployed is risky business. Count your blessings your hubby eventually comes home that day!

asaffell
by Ashley on Jan. 28, 2011 at 4:08 PM

Everyone can complain and vent. The problem is trying to compare safety  and hardship when it's just not a valid comparison. My husband is deployed to a combat zone. He's not as safe as he is in Southern California. However, he also is safer in his job than guys in SF or the grunts who are at FOBs taking direct fire constantly.

I can vent that my husband is gone. I can vent that I didn't hear from him while he was outside the wire. I can vent about anything, but it would be DUMB to try and compare what he's facing to what other wives face while their husbands are in seriously scary ass situations.

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