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Military Families Military Families

Fine -- we'll take it to a debate post so as not to hurt anyone's feelings

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Alright, I'm sure we all know there's a s**t-stirring post on here... I'd like to know why people who have dhs who deploy are supposed to suck it down and not make others feel "bad" because they don't.

so, let's bring it all here. i can take the heat and i won't delete this post. but, the time has come to get this one out in the open and over with.

oh, and let's throw in that "which branch has it harder" crap too.

vent away. cookies will be awarded to the biggest bitch.

 

if there's another issue similar to these, bring it on too. if we're here to support one another, that's through good and bad, honestly, without any smoke up the ass.

by on Jan. 28, 2011 at 3:42 PM
Replies (41-50):
asaffell
by Ashley on Jan. 28, 2011 at 4:11 PM

I wish people could get over themselves enough to understand that THIS is why the arguments start - not because you aren't allowed to vent.

Quoting NickLukeandEmma:

 I think this was exactly the point. It was my point but people fail to see that.

Quoting asaffell:

Everyone can complain and vent. The problem is trying to compare safety  and hardship when it's just not a valid comparison. My husband is deployed to a combat zone. He's not as safe as he is in Southern California. However, he also is safer in his job than guys in SF or the grunts who are at FOBs taking direct fire constantly.

I can vent that my husband is gone. I can vent that I didn't hear from him while he was outside the wire. I can vent about anything, but it would be DUMB to try and compare what he's facing to what other wives face while their husbands are in seriously scary ass situations.

 


"Anti-intellectualism has been a constant thread winding its way
through our political and cultural life, nurtured by the false notion
that democracy means that
'my ignorance is just as good as your knowledge.'"

- ISAAC ASIMOV

usmclife58
by Nikki on Jan. 28, 2011 at 4:11 PM

Nah, my heathens keep me busy enough, lol!

Quoting NickLukeandEmma:

 Oh I am sure yours are better than mine. If you ever want to test drive your theory I have three little hellions you can borrow.

Quoting usmclife58:

In all seriousness:

I am a whiner. I admit it. But I try to be careful about it because there are SO many people that have it worse than I do. I truly believe that I have been a little too blessed; like Someone has lost count of all the good things in my life.

Until this last few months, my husband has been gone more than he has been home (it is about equal now). But at least he came home. He has a spot of PTSD, but it is not debilitating. I am able to stay at home with my daughters. We have many material things. I complain that my husband's job sometimes screws him over, but at least he has a job and we do not have to worry about feeding our children. And, if nothing else, I have the best children in the entire world. I don't think anyone would ever be able to convince me otherwise.

 



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SarahJean70
by on Jan. 28, 2011 at 4:11 PM

Your poor mother -- and you. No, I'd say that is something that you will never forget.

Quoting musicmomma_89:

I am married to a Navy sailor, but when we were growing up my step dad was in the National Guard. He got deployed for 2 years with no break to come home during the whole thing. One day my mom got a call that my step dads unit got bombed and they weren't able to get there to see who was still alive. We didn't find out for 3 days that my step dad was one of the few that survived. I feel sad and get stressed when I don't hear from my husband, but through it all I will never be able to forget being 13 years old and holding my mom as she wept.

When my husband wanted to join he was talking to the Marines. I told him there was no way in hell I could go through that so we compromised on the Navy because it was considered one of the least dangerous branches. I know there are dangerous jobs in the Navy too, but I will never think that my husband going out on a ship is the same as some one who stands on the front line.


KaiRenPrit
by on Jan. 28, 2011 at 4:11 PM

I'm tired of people giving me the 'well you knew what you were getting into when you married a military man'. Yes I knew but just because I knew or didn't is not and never will make the military life easier. I also get the 'well if you're like THIS when he's only gone for a week or two, how are going to act when he's overseas?" Give me a fucking break! It takes TIME no matter what situation is going to ADJUST and get used to it. Also, DO NOT tell me that it's going to be okay, I ALREADY KNOW, I just still want time to myself and adjust because whether some can deal with it easier than others, IT FRIGGIN SUCKS! Don't complain about us military wives saying or acting like we're better then civilian wifes. WE ARE NOT and we DO NOT act that way. Our lives are different, not 'better', so shut up and find something else to complain about! OH! And just because my husband is not on the front lines while deployed does NOT mean that he's less than those that are. They ALL have the SAME mission, they just participate in doing different things. Combat deployments are dangerous and mentally extremely hard but there are more deployments out there that are simular. so NYAH. Oh, and SAHMs that sit around, never get out of the house (but have plenty of time and ability to) to make friends or do something? GET YOUR ASS OUT OF THE HOUSE, MEET SOMEONE NEW, AND DOOOOO SOMETHING. Don't whine to me about how lonely you are, or bored. There are resources and plenty of people around. Figure something out. If you're going to whine and cry without doing anything to try and fix the problem. don't want to hear it. You are only as happy as you let yourself be.

With that, I leave you. <3 Thanks for the place to nag. :) I feel better now.. LOL

WHERE'S MY FRIGGIN COOKIE!?

 

Sara.Worthey
by Gold Member on Jan. 28, 2011 at 4:12 PM

I don't feel you should walk on eggshells, but also don't purposely point out CONSTANTLY that he has deployed in a converation where deployment hasn't been brought up or if a wife is looking for support from people that have been in her shoes. I personally can relate to both sides because yes my husband hasn't deployed, but I was a gf of a deployed soldier. 


usmclife58
by Nikki on Jan. 28, 2011 at 4:13 PM

LOL! I am the opposite! I am terrified of large bodies of water. I do not think my nerves could handle DH being on a boat. Just the thought makes my tummy flip!

Quoting musicmomma_89:

When my husband wanted to join he was talking to the Marines. I told him there was no way in hell I could go through that so we compromised on the Navy because it was considered one of the least dangerous branches. I know there are dangerous jobs in the Navy too, but I will never think that my husband going out on a ship is the same as some one who stands on the front line.



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usmclife58
by Nikki on Jan. 28, 2011 at 4:13 PM

Uh-huh. Yeah.

Quoting amberdy:

God created Rangers because the Marines needed someone to look up to.  Just sayin', LOL.



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SB2217
by on Jan. 28, 2011 at 4:13 PM

EXACTLY! No one is or should say any job is less than other. BUT you cannot compare a job you get shot at and your life IS at risk, that a admin job or something like that. 

Quoting NickLukeandEmma:

 I think this was exactly the point. It was my point but people fail to see that.

Quoting asaffell:

Everyone can complain and vent. The problem is trying to compare safety  and hardship when it's just not a valid comparison. My husband is deployed to a combat zone. He's not as safe as he is in Southern California. However, he also is safer in his job than guys in SF or the grunts who are at FOBs taking direct fire constantly.

I can vent that my husband is gone. I can vent that I didn't hear from him while he was outside the wire. I can vent about anything, but it would be DUMB to try and compare what he's facing to what other wives face while their husbands are in seriously scary ass situations.

 


NickLukeandEmma
by Courtney on Jan. 28, 2011 at 4:13 PM

 Who says combat is over? Where did I miss that? Is that why they guys in Iraq are still getting hazardous duty pay and imminent danger pay? Or at least my husband will be when he goes. In Afghan he was in a relatively safe city and they still got rocked every night with mortar fire. Combat is over? As long as there are still al qaeda and taliban there will be combat. As long as there are greedy people there will be war.

Quoting SarahJean70:

I'm tired of people who think they know everything about every aspect of the military. I don't know shit about Navy, Coast Guard or Marines and I don't know much about the Army outside of my dh's mos. I wouldn't dream of assuming I know the entirety of what another faces

I'm also fed up with people saying "combat" is over -- fuck that shit.

 

Maddies_mom101
by on Jan. 28, 2011 at 4:13 PM
1 mom liked this

what my husband would give to be in Southern Cali rather then here.... hell he still drives like he did when he was stationed at Pendleton. Im glad they make cars with "Oh shit" bars still

Quoting asaffell:

Everyone can complain and vent. The problem is trying to compare safety  and hardship when it's just not a valid comparison. My husband is deployed to a combat zone. He's not as safe as he is in Southern California. However, he also is safer in his job than guys in SF or the grunts who are at FOBs taking direct fire constantly.

I can vent that my husband is gone. I can vent that I didn't hear from him while he was outside the wire. I can vent about anything, but it would be DUMB to try and compare what he's facing to what other wives face while their husbands are in seriously scary ass situations.



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