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I it getting worse?

Posted by on Feb. 9, 2011 at 12:31 AM
  • 10 Replies

My hubby left 29 Oct for Kuwait for a 6 month deployment.  We are halfway through right now, and I feel myself getting more and more stressed by the minute.  I had to have my anxiety meds bumped up.  I'm not sleeping but four hours a night, and I can't understand why!!  I should be happy and counting down the days untill he's in my arms again, and I'm not!!  Is this a common problem?  We were apart for 2 1/2 yrs 14 years ago when the Army (long story) didn't let us go to Germany with him.  I was so happy to be counting down the days, and had no problems then.  I feel like a bad wife because of this.  Don't get me wrong.  I miss him very much, and can't wait for him to come home, but I feel like I'm not as happy as I should be.  Sorry this is so long, but if anyone has some advice or kind words, please let me hear them!!

by on Feb. 9, 2011 at 12:31 AM
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Replies (1-10):
USAFamily
by Melissa on Feb. 9, 2011 at 12:40 AM

 You are not a bad wife, you are just dealing with an enormous amount of stuff right now, in addition to the worry you have for your hubby.

I think you just have to take it one day at a time, and try to make the best of each day until he gets home. Keep busy, start a project, and take care of yourself. Don't ever think less of yourself because sometimes we ALL spiral out of control. The hard part is getting up, dusting yourself off, and starting a new day fresh.

((HUGS))

yasbobari
by on Feb. 9, 2011 at 4:19 AM
WEll said :)good luck!!


Quoting USAFamily:

 You are not a bad wife, you are just dealing with an enormous amount of stuff right now, in addition to the worry you have for your hubby.


I think you just have to take it one day at a time, and try to make the best of each day until he gets home. Keep busy, start a project, and take care of yourself. Don't ever think less of yourself because sometimes we ALL spiral out of control. The hard part is getting up, dusting yourself off, and starting a new day fresh.


((HUGS))


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Kristi483
by on Feb. 9, 2011 at 7:14 AM

You definetly aren't a bad wife. It is really hard when they are gone.  My hubby and i aren't together right now . We can't sell our house here and he is stationed in a different state he's been gone a year and a half (a little more) and about to deploy for 10 months so we will spend atleast 2 1/2 if not 3 apart and I think i loose it almost daily it's really hard.  The first part of it was really bad. I stayed home alot and was just not happy but now that our baby is getting older and my 3 older kids are in school all day I joined a playgroup and the baby and i get out a few times a week and get to be around other moms and it just so happens that even though it is not a military thing the majority of the moms in the playgroup are military so I have friends that understand.  It really does help to stay busy.

  And when you have bad days don't beat yourself up. We all go through it and the important thing is that you move on and keep going. You can do it (hugs)

lilnena98
by on Feb. 9, 2011 at 8:56 AM

 You are not a bad wife. Everyone deals with separations/deployments different. Maybe you can start a project or do something special for yourself.

Balancing
by on Feb. 9, 2011 at 8:59 AM

You are probably feeling burnt out and that is ok.  It is hard to count the days when there are a still good number of days left before you are together.  Maybe you have something that you were hoping to tackle before he returned and you didn't and that is giving you the hang ups...  if so, make a list and start tackling one by one. 

((hugs)) you will pull through.  Talk to your doc about a sleep aid maybe to help out.

armywife1229
by on Feb. 9, 2011 at 9:00 AM

Everyone deals with it differently. Just take a deep breath and plod along. Try to get some time for yourself, even if its just taking a bath or something.

thenguyenclan
by on Feb. 9, 2011 at 9:38 AM


Quoting USAFamily:

 You are not a bad wife, you are just dealing with an enormous amount of stuff right now, in addition to the worry you have for your hubby.

I think you just have to take it one day at a time, and try to make the best of each day until he gets home. Keep busy, start a project, and take care of yourself. Don't ever think less of yourself because sometimes we ALL spiral out of control. The hard part is getting up, dusting yourself off, and starting a new day fresh.

((HUGS))


ditto! :-) 


((BIG HUGS)) mama....

usmclife58
by Nikki on Feb. 9, 2011 at 3:00 PM

((hugs))

You are not a bad wife. Everyone handles things differently. Usually right around the middle of a deployment I get antsy. Drives me insane.

tansy78
by on Feb. 9, 2011 at 5:52 PM

Thanks you so much ladies!  I so needed some words of encouragment!  I did get a bit of good news today, we can finally afford to get my braces, and my jaw repaired. so I can finally have the pretty smile I haven't had FOREVER!!  That was a day brightener for me today.  I am going to tackle the cleaning of the garage also.  I would like to be able to fit at least one of our cars in it!! LOL!  Again ladies thanks for all of your support!  I really appreciate it!

MrS.GiFFord
by on Feb. 9, 2011 at 5:56 PM

I have been through two 1 yr plus deployments and have felt the same way. I think its just the anxiety about them coming back and how much you both have changed. At least thats what it was for me!!! You have to get into a whole new routine. I am the type that I can't wait for them to leave(just to get it over with) and than when it comes time for them to come back I get so anxious I freak out!!! You are not alone. 

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