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(in-law rant) dont know what to do!!!!!!! need advice

Posted by on Feb. 9, 2011 at 7:13 PM
  • 25 Replies

my husband's in a-school right now for the navy, and i've had problems with his parents and sister since he was in boot camp. 

i found out recently that FIL had written him while in boot camp, telling him he saw me in the grocery store with another man (my brother!!!), and that i was divorcing him and that papers were on their way to boot camp.  FIL told him that i was refusing to let them see our son, which is so untrue, and hubby knows this, as they refused to come around to see our son even when he was here. 

this morning i find out when i get on fb, and 1 of my husband's boot camp buddies messaged me, asking me who R was (hubby's sister), why she's friending everyone from their boot camp division, and why she wanted him to tell my husband i was cheating on him.  WTF???!!?!?!?  i got into my husband's fb - he has me update everyone on his progress in boot camp and school (no specifics of course), and i see a message from B (this girl who's seriously a wh*re and slept with anyone whose a guy in town) to my husband telling him that his sister said he was really stressed out and his sister recommended she go up and help him "relax."  WTFFTW?!?!?? 

i seriously want to kill my inlaws.  they "blame" me for him joining the navy.  they told both of us "when he kills babies their blood will be on YOUR hands" and crap like that. 

MIL called him yesterday & told him we were getting a divorce because i cant handle it and i dont know how the navy REALLY is - hello, navy kid of 16 years here.  that WHEN we get divorced, she's going to make sure that neither one of us has custody of our son, that SHE's going to get full custody.  that she's going to sue me for grandparents' rights, even tho in the state of IN, there is no such thing as grandparents rights unless the parents are divorced/separated or one is dead. 

does ANYONE have any advice on what i should do about this situation??  i'm trying to keep my husband out of this, so he can concentrate on school.  but theyre calling and texting and messaging him daily of my "cheating" on him with my brother (sorry eew) and our impending divorce.  not to mention my new facebook affair with my gay-guy friend. 

this is x-posted in 2 other communities basically cuz i need all the advice i can get to remedy this situation.  so i'm sorry if anyone sees this again.  i just dont know what to do.

by on Feb. 9, 2011 at 7:13 PM
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by on Feb. 9, 2011 at 7:18 PM

Well I feel for ya! I have been through similar situations with my awful inlaws too. We ended up getting counseling. The counselor told my husband that I was to stay out of it this time and He was to deal with his family once and for all...It helped me out in a sense. They all dont talk to me anymore, but I dont care bc they were trying to destroy a home...

by Melissa on Feb. 9, 2011 at 7:18 PM

 Well first off, welcome to the group!

Secondly, HOLY CRAP! Have they lost their ever loving minds?

I would honestly create as much space as you can between your family and them and move as soon as those orders come through. It would probably ruin any relationship I have with my family if this were to happen.

by on Feb. 9, 2011 at 7:20 PM

All i can say is...WOW! Tell them to go kick rocks. 

Delete all of them from your facebook and don't talk to them. They sound like real gossipers and the best thing you can do is not give them any ammo to talk crap. Keep your husband posted on the things you do so he's aware of what's to come from his family. Let him know "I went grocery shopping with my brother" or "So i've been talking to my guy friend on facebook" etc etc. 

Wait till he gets home so you can remedy the situation together. 

I'm sorry you're going through this. I should consider myself lucky to have such an amazing in law family. 

by on Feb. 9, 2011 at 7:20 PM
Ask your husband to change his number and make a new Facebook profile. He needs to stand up to his family letting them know that his choices are his own. If they can't accept that and can't treat you and yalls marriage with respect then he will cut them off.
It will be hard to say but hopefully they will stop. And since his family is calling and texting him then he's already in the middle of it and already stressed. Beat thing for him is to get a new number that they don't have.
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by on Feb. 9, 2011 at 7:21 PM

yea. go to JAG, get a lawyer, save the emails and tell your hubby's buddies to save theirs and sue their asses for defamation of character and slander.

by on Feb. 9, 2011 at 7:23 PM

Have you called or written your husband and told him the truth? I am sure if you told him what was really going on he would be able to concentrate a lot better then if he was just listening to the lies. Just my opinion.


by on Feb. 9, 2011 at 7:23 PM

Welcome to the group! I would just ignore them and pray he gets a duty station across the country from his parents, then you guys go live your life happily ever after until they can act like adults.

by Nikki on Feb. 9, 2011 at 7:25 PM

Send them all a message that if they continue their slanderous behaviour, you will press charges. And if they continue, press charges. 

I am slightly evil...

Welcome to the group!! :D

by on Feb. 9, 2011 at 7:26 PM
They have access to computers & fb in basic? Wow - when my dh went through, they didn't even have a chance to write-
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by on Feb. 9, 2011 at 7:27 PM

well  would it be an option for you to move closer to wherever dh is going to school? your inlaws sounds like mine. fil loves to tell dh that im a whore and he needs to get a dna test done on the kids when they are both dh's and if there is any question just look at them my kids are spitting images of dh

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