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Any dh's eas'd and marital problems? mini update on page 2

Posted by on Apr. 12, 2011 at 12:02 PM
  • 15 Replies

Ive been wanting to post this for sometime and been embaressed to do so.....but I am desperate.

My husband just eas'd. Ever since he got of the marine corp, even though we had our problems then, our marriage has taken a nose dive into hell. I am at a lost here. We moved back to the east so he can finish school. He has been evil and mean since getting out. He kicked me and our kids out over something so meaningless. I am also 18 weeks preggo! Hes been calling me names, ect. He not only disconnected himself from the marines, but me and the kids as well.


Help!?

by on Apr. 12, 2011 at 12:02 PM
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Replies (1-10):
MoB.Monk
by on Apr. 12, 2011 at 12:05 PM
(((hugs)))

I dunno the 'right' words of advice here... So sorry :-(

Hope you guys are able to work through it....
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barnwell84
by on Apr. 12, 2011 at 12:07 PM

Sounds like he's still transitioning and hasn't gotten over getting out yet.  Some men do that when they get out.  Mine didn't.  He just went on with life like it was the same.  He still does some things that he's used to doing, but other than that he takes it day by day.  Maybe he regrets getting out.  I wish you the best.  Good luck!

yasbobari
by on Apr. 12, 2011 at 12:26 PM
I agree with problems transitioning.. still.. he has to get help,if he doesn't want to I advice you to continue on with your life and kids. It cn become more dangerous. I am so sorry.
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Maddies_mom101
by on Apr. 12, 2011 at 12:33 PM

how long has he been out?  you said there was problems before he got out?

amylou111
by on Apr. 12, 2011 at 12:40 PM

Hes been out since october. The problems we had would be common stuff most couples would argue about, we controlled ourselves. Maybe once a year we would have a big blow out, command would make us get counseling, and we were good for another year or two. Now its like hes lost all common sense and self control. He does everything out of anger. And knowing dh for a long time, hes always been sweet, loving and kind. I just dont see that anymore! Now i am always afraid of doing or saying something wrong around him.

Quoting Maddies_mom101:

how long has he been out?  you said there was problems before he got out?


Maddies_mom101
by on Apr. 12, 2011 at 1:08 PM

it sounds like a little bit of PTSD. Maybe it was something he was holding in while he was enlisted for sake of his job or what not  and now he is letting it out so to speak. I would see if he could go talk to the VA and see if he can get into speak to a counselor there  or even at school

Quoting amylou111:

Hes been out since october. The problems we had would be common stuff most couples would argue about, we controlled ourselves. Maybe once a year we would have a big blow out, command would make us get counseling, and we were good for another year or two. Now its like hes lost all common sense and self control. He does everything out of anger. And knowing dh for a long time, hes always been sweet, loving and kind. I just dont see that anymore! Now i am always afraid of doing or saying something wrong around him.

Quoting Maddies_mom101:

how long has he been out?  you said there was problems before he got out?






 




 

amylou111
by on Apr. 12, 2011 at 2:25 PM

I totally agree with this! I think hes to prideful to go get help...But we have been talking about it in a settle way. I am going to mention it before he goes to the VA next week...I am willing to stick by him til there are no more options left or I start to feel threaten. His behavior has been out of character for him, and I really do love him and like to be with him...but this war in our marriage has got to stop. 

Quoting Maddies_mom101:

it sounds like a little bit of PTSD. Maybe it was something he was holding in while he was enlisted for sake of his job or what not  and now he is letting it out so to speak. I would see if he could go talk to the VA and see if he can get into speak to a counselor there  or even at school

Quoting amylou111:

Hes been out since october. The problems we had would be common stuff most couples would argue about, we controlled ourselves. Maybe once a year we would have a big blow out, command would make us get counseling, and we were good for another year or two. Now its like hes lost all common sense and self control. He does everything out of anger. And knowing dh for a long time, hes always been sweet, loving and kind. I just dont see that anymore! Now i am always afraid of doing or saying something wrong around him.

Quoting Maddies_mom101:

how long has he been out?  you said there was problems before he got out?




asaffell
by Ashley on Apr. 12, 2011 at 2:31 PM

Hugs mama. I hope he gets the help he needs.

Lilysmommy1120
by on Apr. 12, 2011 at 5:30 PM

 My husband went through something similar when he got out of the corps. It was the longest hardest 3 years ever. When he got out I was 17 weeks pregnant with our 1st.  He couldnt find himself in the civlian world. So reenlisted in the marines and is happy now.

I hope things get better for you.

amylou111
by on Apr. 12, 2011 at 7:06 PM

He swears to me hes the happiest hes been since being out..however I do not buy it. I didnt want him easing. I wanted him to stay in because i thought it was the best for us. He through otherwise, so of course I supported him. Im still hoping that maybe after he finishes school (next may) he will reenlist as an officer.-I know hed prob been happier and stayed in if he didnt get a shitty station (29 palms) and picked up rank. But either way, I am praying more than I have over our marriage. 

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