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i just need to vent

Posted by on Apr. 13, 2011 at 1:43 PM
  • 13 Replies

Marc and I have  been married going on 3 years (our anniversary is May 9) we have been together for over 10. Somedays I honestly DONT KNOW what goes through his head, he drives me insane!!!! He got home yesterday at 2, he went in at 745. He gets in and gives me a look and then says "bye" he goes to bed. Now I get that he's tired he worked but our 2 year old was flipping out for him to play with her, our 2 month old was screaming and I was feeling extremely stressed out. I normally take meds for depression and anxiety, because of my pregnancy I didnt take them and my refill was out. I have been trying to get in to see my PCM since Lilly was 3wks old (she's 9wks now) and still have yet to get an appointment. So I am, yes, a little easier to provoke right now. I let him sleep till 5 then asked him to get up and please play with Ella before she literally exploded so I could get some things done. He rolled over and told me to go away. I let it slide, I tried to wake him up at 8pm so we could start the nighttime routine. Our 2yr old has a specific routine and if we dont follow it shes a nightmare. He told me to go eff myself he was sleeping. It took everything I had not to scream at him. Instead I went ahead and did Ella's nighttime routine alone and she kissed him goodnight at 9. He still wasnt up. I didnt make dinner, there was no point in me cooking when he wouldnt be up to eat it. Went about my night. At freaking 11pm right when i am going to bed he gets up. He's being a snarky ass at this point. "Where's dinner?" "wheres my camis" "where's my truck keys". I told him there was no dinner because I wasnt cooking when he wasnt going to get up, then I just went to bed with our 2 month old because at this point I was on the verge of a anxiety attack and without meds its really hard to work through. I fell asleep at 11 he came in there at midnight acting like a freaking psycho. Kept telling me that i need a "fucking job" because I never do shit. Excuse me? I wash all your clothes, I clean the house, I take care of both kids, I cook most of the time except for last night. I think I do quite a bit. 

We havent spoken a word to eachother all day. I just feel like crying and I am dreading him comig home in a few.. 

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by on Apr. 13, 2011 at 1:43 PM
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Replies (1-10):
jmecherub22
by on Apr. 13, 2011 at 2:04 PM
I don't think that you should put up with someone speaking to you like that. I don't think anyone needs to be treated or spoken to like that, especially coming from a spouse...Does he always act like that?
Balancing
by on Apr. 13, 2011 at 2:22 PM

I agree with jmechurb based on the story you gave.

I also would recomend that you try to get a same day appt with your PCM or other provider or try to get a MH referral through Tricare and have your medications precribed by Nurse Practitioner or a psychiatrist versus your family doc.

yasbobari
by on Apr. 13, 2011 at 2:27 PM
Wow! First off, congratulations .. you acted so mature and having depression and anxiety and not flipping out on him is a big accomplishment! Specially when you have kids. Is he always like this? I personally wouldn't tolerate it, get that appt ready mama, good luck to you!
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Sara.Worthey
by Gold Member on Apr. 13, 2011 at 2:27 PM

I have kinda been there, but without him telling me that I need a job. I have PTSD, and due to my recent pregnancy and now breastfeeding, I am not able to take meds, so occasionally I get in the zone and I snap easier than I normally would. Here is what I do, it may or may not work for you, I try and get out of the house once a week. Luckily here I found a playgroup so I get some adult interaction other than my husband. Two year olds are great, but they don't quite have the conversation skills we need to decompress. I also maybe once a week, take time for myself, this is actually the hard one. I go and take a shower, but make sure the baby is fed, the toddler is playing first so that it is easier to leave the husband in charge. They may be the father, but occasionally they are clueless when it come to what to do. Maybe lock yourself in your room and read just for you, take a nap, or do something that you like that makes you happy. Talk to your husband, when he is not exhausted, and try and get him to understand what is going on in your mind/ what your mental and emotional needs are.

usmclife58
by Nikki on Apr. 13, 2011 at 2:31 PM

Oh wow. He would have gotten a shoe to the head if he was like that to me. Don't let him treat you that way.

kaygarcia97
by on Apr. 13, 2011 at 4:41 PM


Quoting jmecherub22:

I don't think that you should put up with someone speaking to you like that. I don't think anyone needs to be treated or spoken to like that, especially coming from a spouse...Does he always act like that?

Its very very rare. Now he does go to bed and leave me with the kids alot but I let it slide like I said he works I dont. He does have PTSD so maybe thats part of it?

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Serenity_29
by on Apr. 13, 2011 at 4:53 PM


Quoting usmclife58:

Oh wow. He would have gotten a shoe to the head if he was like that to me. Don't let him treat you that way.

This.. I commend you for not going on him. He would be at dental.

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kaygarcia97
by on Apr. 13, 2011 at 4:56 PM


Quoting Serenity_29:


Quoting usmclife58:

Oh wow. He would have gotten a shoe to the head if he was like that to me. Don't let him treat you that way.

This.. I commend you for not going on him. He would be at dental.

This is actually HUGE for me because any other time I might have flipped out. I tried so hard to not bash his face in. Instead I called my bestie and told her I was going on a punching spree. We laughed and I stopped being so pissed. 

I think alot of it was just timing we were both being bitchy and it shouldnt have been that way

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LOswald0314
by Ruby Member on Apr. 13, 2011 at 6:35 PM
The PTSD likely is a huge part of it. Is he getting help for that? Also, it might be good for the two of you to get into counseling together. You could learn ways to handle both of your struggles together as a team and to support eachother.
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MissG9
by on Apr. 13, 2011 at 6:38 PM

 I'm sorry : (

((Hugs))

 

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