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And why am I home alone?!

Posted by on Apr. 23, 2011 at 9:10 PM
  • 13 Replies

So long story short. My hubby is in the army, So as most of you know they work A LOT! Not a problem for me, work is work. But I don't get how he complains we don't get to spend enough time together yet he would rather go out with his single friends and get drunk, when he has PLENTY of his guy nights almost every weekend. And Today of all days! We found out today that we are having a baby  boy!:D Super excitingg! So of course we both are calling our friends and family and sharing. He called one of his (single) friends and he invited him out to have a guys night. After he finishes the phone call he asks me " Babe is it okay if I have a guys night to tonight?" I instantly got upset that he would even ask if it's okay to leave me at home ALONE and for him to go out with his guys. So he gets mad at me and we ended up fighting about it for a good hour or so. He still decided to go with his guys, even when I have bluntly said I want US to celebrate together. He just doesn't care.He said I could go out with him, but That would entail of me being the only girl and driving drunk people around bar hoping! No thank you! I am 20 weeks along and really don't want to be in a bar and up all night.  I am from Las Vegas, so all my family and friends are back home while I live in North Carolina, So all my girl friends are wives of his coworkers, and since they all are married and everyone has a 4 day this weekend. I don't want to be a 3rd wheel hanging out with my friend and her hubby. I am just really hurt by all this today, and it makes it worse that he just doesn't care that I am this upset about it.

So why am I at home by my self when I am the one carrying this child? I don't see why he gets to go out and have fun and I'm alone like ALWAYS!!! I just don't get it.

Sorry just had to vent!

by on Apr. 23, 2011 at 9:10 PM
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Replies (1-10):
dory_girl88
by on Apr. 23, 2011 at 9:18 PM

hugs hang in there. try telling your DH how you feel calmly without starting a fight...it helped me when i was going through the same thing with my DH a couple of months ago. (i tend to like to fight)

krissy920
by on Apr. 23, 2011 at 9:20 PM

I donno what to tell ya , i tell my husband to go out. I have no issues being a 3rd wheel if my friends are with their husbands. They are friends if they didnt want to invite me to hang out they wouldnt. I dont really like to go out much anyways so im always happy with a quiet evening to myself. What i have noticed from some of the people around here, the harder you push for " family time" the less of it you get.  Congrats on a baby boy, they are a blast.. 

Have you ever considered setting up  date nights like on a calander this way you get the time with him you want? If he knows he has plans with you already he cant make them withhis single friends.

ChanelWilliams
by on Apr. 23, 2011 at 9:23 PM

I hate fighting. So i do it calmy since I am the calm one in the relationship. lol I just don't get his thinking, he said he knows it's wrong to still go out, but still decided to leave me at home. When i told him we can go where ever and do whatever I just don't want you to get drunk because that's not us celebrating together that you having fun with your friends and just leaving me to sit in the cornor alone. and Still doesn't care. :/ Today has just REALLY made me want to pack my shit and just go home for a little bit, just so he can see what it would be like for me to be gone, and so i'm not at home all the time, and wouldn't have to worry about him coming home to change and go have a guys night. I can be with my family and friends. Since that's pretty much all he seems to care about right now.

ChanelWilliams
by on Apr. 23, 2011 at 9:28 PM


Quoting krissy920:

I donno what to tell ya , i tell my husband to go out. I have no issues being a 3rd wheel if my friends are with their husbands. They are friends if they didnt want to invite me to hang out they wouldnt. I dont really like to go out much anyways so im always happy with a quiet evening to myself. What i have noticed from some of the people around here, the harder you push for " family time" the less of it you get.  Congrats on a baby boy, they are a blast.. 

Have you ever considered setting up  date nights like on a calander this way you get the time with him you want? If he knows he has plans with you already he cant make them withhis single friends.

He doesn't like to make plans, and when we do he always ends up changing his mind last min or gets upset and says he doesn't want to do what we had planned. I let him have his space and have guy nights whenever he wants to. Just today of all days I don't get why he couldn't compromise and take me with. Being the 3rd is alright, but not when i have to invite my self. lol i love quiet evenings too, but he worked a 24 hour duty last night so he got off work this morning slept then we found out what we were having fought for an hour then he left. So it just sucks that he's acting like this.

Maddies_mom101
by on Apr. 23, 2011 at 9:31 PM

Im sorry  :(

amylou111
by on Apr. 23, 2011 at 9:31 PM

HEy! I am sooo sorry! AND congrats on the baby boy!! (Ill be 20weeks sunday) My dh does the same exact thing. I do not know why he does it either. Pisses me off bc he said I can go but then really doesnt want me going. All his friends are single too! and it pisses me off. Sometimes i just think its his way letting off steam with the guys...but it still bothers me, the whole situation. I tell him all the time its one thing going to a small bar with friends for a couple beers to watch a game or play pool. But its another thing to be going out to clubbing bars with single guys, getting drunk. He has no business in that situation. I know hes not doing anything wrong. I knwo that for a fact. But it still bothers me. It has settled down since we've had kids. But every now and then he does it, and it pisses me off! 

Just wanted you to know I understand....I just dont know any answers to our problem yet! Just be blunt how you feel about it. One time I locked him out and he got the point on how much it made me mad.

ChanelWilliams
by on Apr. 23, 2011 at 9:56 PM


Quoting amylou111:

HEy! I am sooo sorry! AND congrats on the baby boy!! (Ill be 20weeks sunday) My dh does the same exact thing. I do not know why he does it either. Pisses me off bc he said I can go but then really doesnt want me going. All his friends are single too! and it pisses me off. Sometimes i just think its his way letting off steam with the guys...but it still bothers me, the whole situation. I tell him all the time its one thing going to a small bar with friends for a couple beers to watch a game or play pool. But its another thing to be going out to clubbing bars with single guys, getting drunk. He has no business in that situation. I know hes not doing anything wrong. I knwo that for a fact. But it still bothers me. It has settled down since we've had kids. But every now and then he does it, and it pisses me off! 

Just wanted you to know I understand....I just dont know any answers to our problem yet! Just be blunt how you feel about it. One time I locked him out and he got the point on how much it made me mad.

I'm sorry! You deal with it too. I used to go out with him, but I'm pregnant now, and my belly is just getting bigger and bigger. So i really don't want to risk being out in a bar with drunk people, because what if some one decides to get in a fight and ends up running into me. Or if I'm driving out late at night, I would really like to not get hit by a drunk driver. So i do my best to avoid all of that. and a pregnant women just dos not belong in a bar to begin with. lol I am blunt about how i feel about stuff, i would definitely lock him out, but he has his keys with him. LOL

seraphimsong
by on Apr. 23, 2011 at 10:14 PM
I'm sorry he left you alone tonight! That totally sucks :( Congrats on the baby boy though! I am also expecting a boy! I have about 7 weeks to go :)
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meka26
by on Apr. 23, 2011 at 11:13 PM

Hugs

chanelsparkels
by on Apr. 23, 2011 at 11:22 PM

Hugs! And COngrats on the baby boy. I am sorry about your situation. All or at least most of us has been in through this. I keep checking back in to see the advice you get. Im planning on trying some of it too. But I really hope you guys work it out. I know exactly how you feel and believe me you are not wrong to feel like this :( ugh.  Try to use the time to relax and pamper yourself, a bath, pedicure, book, loud music...

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