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Worried

Posted by on Jul. 8, 2011 at 3:30 PM
  • 18 Replies

My husband got his R and R dates and will be home soon. I am worried about how its going to be when he gets home. He has already said that he doesnt think that he is going to be able to handle the kids. He has a high expectation of how and what the kids and I do. He is already saying that when he gets home the kids will have to do this and do that and all this other stuff. He gets upset when things break and I try and tell him that its not a big deal, but he gets angry. How do I handle things when he comes home? Should I hold my tongue and just let things go. Im really starting to worry that we are going to have a hard time adjusting back to married life and him to fatherhood. Does anyone have any advice??

 

come home

by on Jul. 8, 2011 at 3:30 PM
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Replies (1-10):
Soniam301
by Sonia on Jul. 8, 2011 at 3:33 PM
go on a vacation, out if town!

Also, when he returns, it sounds like you guys need counseling..,
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LOswald0314
by Ruby Member on Jul. 8, 2011 at 3:34 PM
I agree.

Quoting Soniam301:

go on a vacation, out if town!



Also, when he returns, it sounds like you guys need counseling..,
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jonellg
by on Jul. 8, 2011 at 3:40 PM

I need an example, what do you mean by "what the kids and I do"?

mommie020308
by on Jul. 8, 2011 at 3:41 PM

We will be going to Rhode Island for about 5 days the day after he gets home. I already told him that I think that we are going to need counceling. I alot of our issues come from him not having any control over what happens at home. I feel like he should let me take care of things here and just let it go. But he just wont.

mommie020308
by on Jul. 8, 2011 at 3:44 PM

Like he thinks that our 9 year old should be mowing the grass and that our 2 year old shouldnt need me so much. He thinks that I should be spending all my energy on cleaning as well. He doesnt seem to understand that kids are kids, they are not perfect and they are going to miss behave. Im not perfect either.

Quoting jonellg:

I need an example, what do you mean by "what the kids and I do"?


jonellg
by on Jul. 8, 2011 at 3:46 PM

Interesting. Was he like this before te deployment or is this a new attitude?

Quoting mommie020308:

Like he thinks that our 9 year old should be mowing the grass and that our 2 year old shouldnt need me so much. He thinks that I should be spending all my energy on cleaning as well. He doesnt seem to understand that kids are kids, they are not perfect and they are going to miss behave. Im not perfect either.

Quoting jonellg:

I need an example, what do you mean by "what the kids and I do"?



usmclife58
by Nikki on Jul. 8, 2011 at 3:49 PM

That is a bad attitude to have. You have to include him, keep him involved. You can't just expect him to be okay with you not wanting him involved. 

Counseling is probably going to be a necessity. It sounds like both of you need some realistic ideas of how to do things. Kids will be kids, and things will get broken; and just because someone is away at work, does not make them less of a husband or parent.

Quoting mommie020308:

We will be going to Rhode Island for about 5 days the day after he gets home. I already told him that I think that we are going to need counceling. I alot of our issues come from him not having any control over what happens at home. I feel like he should let me take care of things here and just let it go. But he just wont.



mommie020308
by on Jul. 8, 2011 at 4:09 PM

I dont see how that is a bad attitude to have, There isnt anything that he can do while he is gone. He is working himself up and I dont see how that is doing him any good. He is stressing out about home, he has no control over things here. I keep him informed and updated. I keep him a part of everything. He is involved with decisions that I make. 

Quoting usmclife58:

That is a bad attitude to have. You have to include him, keep him involved. You can't just expect him to be okay with you not wanting him involved. 

Counseling is probably going to be a necessity. It sounds like both of you need some realistic ideas of how to do things. Kids will be kids, and things will get broken; and just because someone is away at work, does not make them less of a husband or parent.

Quoting mommie020308:

We will be going to Rhode Island for about 5 days the day after he gets home. I already told him that I think that we are going to need counceling. I alot of our issues come from him not having any control over what happens at home. I feel like he should let me take care of things here and just let it go. But he just wont.



Soniam301
by Sonia on Jul. 8, 2011 at 4:12 PM
counseling for sure. regardless of him being there or not, you guys need to come to a MUTUAL understanding and compromise of what is expected of the kids and each other.
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jonellg
by on Jul. 8, 2011 at 4:14 PM

Even though DH is gone and has been gone over a year, I still involve him. I ask him what he thinks, we make plans. He has to feel involved or he would feel left out. KWIM?

Quoting mommie020308:

I dont see how that is a bad attitude to have, There isnt anything that he can do while he is gone. He is working himself up and I dont see how that is doing him any good. He is stressing out about home, he has no control over things here. I keep him informed and updated. I keep him a part of everything. He is involved with decisions that I make. 

Quoting usmclife58:

That is a bad attitude to have. You have to include him, keep him involved. You can't just expect him to be okay with you not wanting him involved. 

Counseling is probably going to be a necessity. It sounds like both of you need some realistic ideas of how to do things. Kids will be kids, and things will get broken; and just because someone is away at work, does not make them less of a husband or parent.

Quoting mommie020308:

We will be going to Rhode Island for about 5 days the day after he gets home. I already told him that I think that we are going to need counceling. I alot of our issues come from him not having any control over what happens at home. I feel like he should let me take care of things here and just let it go. But he just wont.




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