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Welcome home parties

Posted by on Jan. 15, 2012 at 9:10 PM
  • 18 Replies
So dh is coming home soon and we(the frg) are planning the welcome home party for the troop. We've got a pretty good night planned so far IMO. But dh just told me he wont waste his time with it. Im honestly kind of hurt by it. I've put a lot into effort and time into this and built some really good relationships through the frg, which is no small feat for me. I got invloved in the first place to keep busy and pass the time, but I have really enjoyed it all. I don't know, am I overreacting? Do your husbands, or you for that matter, refuse to attend functions like this?
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by on Jan. 15, 2012 at 9:10 PM
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Replies (1-10):
usmclife58
by Nikki on Jan. 15, 2012 at 9:13 PM

My husband would make an appearance, but that would be all. And he would only do that for me.

sailorwifenmom
by on Jan. 15, 2012 at 9:25 PM

Honestly, this is a very common thing, and I feel for both of you and can see both sides here.

On the one hand, we, as spouses, want to celebrate that it's over, they are home, the deployment is finished, etc.  And it's important to do this.  But, on the other hand, they're coming home tired, emotionally and physically drained, and sick of seeing the same faces, day in and day out, and not having any break from the "military side" of themselves.  They just want to see their families, NOT see any of the people they were deployed with, and rest.

BOTH points are very valid. 

Honestly, I think a lot of it depends on when the event is.  If it's the night of, or even within a couple of nights, I wouldn't push for him to go.  I would let him know that you would like to go, and that you've put a lot of work into helping plan it, so you need to be there, but you understand if he would rather stay home and just have that evening for him and the kids instead. 


One thing that we've done in the past with units we've been with is we would have an "outchop" or "last night" party to celebrate that they're done with the deployment, but it's in the week before they're back.  That way, we get the party we want, and they get the break they want :-)


Good luck, and try to remember, whether you go to the party or not, the important thing is you have built some strong friendships, you were able to get through the deployment, and he is coming home :-)  

Aqua_Jen
by on Jan. 15, 2012 at 9:47 PM
He will be home roughly a month and a half before the party is scheduled for. He refuses to even make an appearance. I do understand that he's tired of the same people and all that. I just can't help but feel disappointed a little bit.
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Aqua_Jen
by on Jan. 15, 2012 at 9:48 PM
Oh and I did tell him that I'll be plenty happy just to have him home safe and it's not the end of the world.
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omerciful1
by on Jan. 15, 2012 at 9:49 PM

 My husband never wanted a party or anything like that, he just wanted to come home and be with us. After a few weeks we would have everyone get together, a more informal party if you will, but that's it. I don't think you are over reacting, you put a lot of time and effort into it and made some friends which is good. I think, for a lot of the guys, they spend all of that time together while deployed that they just want some time apart when they get home and just be with their families.

Ellmomr
by on Jan. 15, 2012 at 10:55 PM



Quoting usmclife58:

My husband would make an appearance, but that would be all. And he would only do that for me.


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ilovemyjoes
by on Jan. 15, 2012 at 11:14 PM

I would be upset with DH not going with such a big gap between actual homecoming and the party.  Maybe he'll come around later?  Talk to him about the friends you've made, and that he could meet some of them there.  *I* would try really hard to talk my DH into going, at least for a little bit.

Quoting Aqua_Jen:

He will be home roughly a month and a half before the party is scheduled for. He refuses to even make an appearance. I do understand that he's tired of the same people and all that. I just can't help but feel disappointed a little bit.




JJsmainsqueeze
by on Jan. 15, 2012 at 11:20 PM
My dh wouldn't want to attend something like that either. I don't even think I could force him to do it. Homecomings for us have been short and sweet, a hello hug and big kiss then off we go to get home away from the hustle and bustle of his shipmates etc.
but I can understand why you would be hurt seeing as you spent time planning it.
sailorwifenmom
by on Jan. 15, 2012 at 11:25 PM

A month and a half later, I can see you wanting him to go - he'll have been home long enough that he will have hopefully had a bit of a break from everyone by then.  I know that support group functions aren't high on my husband's list, but at that point, he would have def. gone with me, if nothing else to show me support and because it was important to me.

But you know, by the time he gets home and the party gets here he might change his mind :-)

Quoting Aqua_Jen:

He will be home roughly a month and a half before the party is scheduled for. He refuses to even make an appearance. I do understand that he's tired of the same people and all that. I just can't help but feel disappointed a little bit.


sailorwifenmom
by on Jan. 15, 2012 at 11:32 PM

:-) 

I hope that my comment didn't come across as bad, or like you didn't know that this was the important part.  I get feeling disappointed, because you've put a lot of work into it, and because you're gone outside of your comfort zone to get involved, and want it acknowledged.  I was just trying to remind you of that as a way to try to cheer you up a little about it :-)

Quoting Aqua_Jen:

Oh and I did tell him that I'll be plenty happy just to have him home safe and it's not the end of the world.


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