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Military Families Military Families

My boyfriend is getting his orders in may (just joining) and we are having our first child in september. military moms please i need advice on how to cope with this situation....

by on Jan. 29, 2012 at 4:54 PM
Replies (11-20):
BompsMum
by on Jan. 29, 2012 at 7:44 PM
1 mom liked this

when i would wonder how the crap i am going to handle something i remind myself i dont have much choice, you just do what you have to and time keeps ticking and before you know it a year has gone by, you have survived and stronger for it!

afanzone1986
by on Jan. 29, 2012 at 8:13 PM
He still hasn't left for boot camp but he says he will be here when the baby is born and for the first Christmas at least. I am just wondering how to cope with him leaving. We haven't really been apart since we got together
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BompsMum
by on Jan. 29, 2012 at 8:17 PM

enjoy the time you have, if you spend it worrying about when he has to leave you will be kicking yourself in the butt!

make goals and prep for it, also, keep him updated with bump pics and ultrasounds (if you can), and know that you arent alone.

on the flip side, you had a ton of great times with him right? when my husband and i met it was long distance, i finally got to move to where he was, get married and i had him for a whole week before he left for a month. that prepared us for later when he would spend 11 months out of the year gone. it happens and being upset about it wont change anything, it will just make it harder on him.

let yourself cry and be pissed and then pull yourself together and be strong lady!! you can do it!! email me if you want to!!

Klynn-whitlow
by on Jan. 29, 2012 at 8:30 PM


Quoting xxlilmomma09:

I'm going to be the different one here -- don't get married just because he is joining the military. Get married when you feel ready and are sure the relationship is ready. No need to rush.

As far as him leaving, find ways to cope. Take up some new hobbies.


Klynn-whitlow
by on Jan. 29, 2012 at 8:30 PM

The baby will be covered by tricare though right?

Quoting Soniam301:

get married, until you do, the military will have nothing to do with you.

Other than that, keep busy


BekaBug
by on Jan. 29, 2012 at 8:50 PM

take it one day at a time. dont get too disappointed if he misses "big events". (its not his fault) if yall want the military to acknowledge you get married. hugs.

write him. when dh deploys i write him every night before i go to bed. at the end of the week i mail them all out. it really helped me. (and he enjoys it) if you cant mail them out then save them. before he leaves go to build a bear and make a teddy and have him put one of those personalized messages in it; like i love you or some thing sweet. "borrow" one of his shirts and spray it down with his cologne or rub his deodorant on it; what ever he smells like, lol, so you have a "piece" of him while hes gone. just a few cute ideas that may or may not help. :) 

you can always pm me if you need to just chat or vent. good luck. im pg with my third and dh may or may not miss her birth. it sucks but it could be worse.

Quoting afanzone1986:

He still hasn't left for boot camp but he says he will be here when the baby is born and for the first Christmas at least. I am just wondering how to cope with him leaving. We haven't really been apart since we got together



i'm a book reading, thrill seeking, always traveling, can't sit still, stuck in my ways,  pierced and tattooed, co- sleeping,  anti-vaccinating, extended breast feeding, cloth diapering, home schooling, army wife., and mommy to an all natural little girl. and an intact little boy. who's madly in love with my husband and absolutely loves being a stay at home mommy and army wife kind of woman.

InMediasRes
by on Jan. 29, 2012 at 8:54 PM

The baby should be covered by TriCare, provided all the paperwork is in order. That means make sure he establishes legal paternity -put his name is on the birth certificate, make sure he signs the birth certificate, make sure his name is on the application for the SSN, and make sure he enrolls the baby in DEERS as his dependent. If you are not married at the time the baby is born, then the law does not automatically assume he is the father. Tell him to go to the JAG office and find out what he needs to do to establish legal paternity and claim the baby as his dependent. Call the TriCare office to make sure all the T's are crossed and all the I's are dotted so the baby will get medical coverage.

One thing you might run into trouble with -since you won't have a dependent ID card, and they don't issue ID cards for children under 10- you're not going to be able to prove who you are or who the baby is, and you'll probably get the run around more often than usual. On a military base, you just don't exist unless you have an ID card; if you're under 10 you don't really exist unless the parent standing next to you has an ID card. It can be a pain, but it's just how it is.

Quoting Klynn-whitlow:

The baby will be covered by tricare though right?

Quoting Soniam301:

get married, until you do, the military will have nothing to do with you.

Other than that, keep busy



Soniam301
by Sonia on Jan. 29, 2012 at 9:19 PM
they do issue children id's if the child comes from a divorced or unmarried home.


Quoting InMediasRes:

The baby should be covered by TriCare, provided all the paperwork is in order. That means make sure he establishes legal paternity -put his name is on the birth certificate, make sure he signs the birth certificate, make sure his name is on the application for the SSN, and make sure he enrolls the baby in DEERS as his dependent. If you are not married at the time the baby is born, then the law does not automatically assume he is the father. Tell him to go to the JAG office and find out what he needs to do to establish legal paternity and claim the baby as his dependent. Call the TriCare office to make sure all the T's are crossed and all the I's are dotted so the baby will get medical coverage.

One thing you might run into trouble with -since you won't have a dependent ID card, and they don't issue ID cards for children under 10- you're not going to be able to prove who you are or who the baby is, and you'll probably get the run around more often than usual. On a military base, you just don't exist unless you have an ID card; if you're under 10 you don't really exist unless the parent standing next to you has an ID card. It can be a pain, but it's just how it is.


Quoting Klynn-whitlow:

The baby will be covered by tricare though right?

Quoting Soniam301:

get married, until you do, the military will have nothing to do with you.



Other than that, keep busy



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Soniam301
by Sonia on Jan. 29, 2012 at 9:21 PM
my son has had an id since he was 2.
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Soniam301
by Sonia on Jan. 29, 2012 at 9:56 PM
I said that in my reply above...

Quoting momofkamnlela:

Is it only if you're not married, bc I know they don't do that for ateo children.
Quoting Soniam301:

my son has had an id since he was 2.

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