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I'm having a hard time adjusting...

Posted by on Mar. 4, 2012 at 7:05 PM
  • 9 Replies
Dh just cme home from deployment. I am thrilled that he is home and I love seeing him everyday. BUT I am having a really hard time adjusting to him being here. Expenses have gone up, laundry has doubled, and he puts a lot of things ahead of family time. I'm always on edge. I hate this feeling and I don't know what to do. I know this is all a big adjustment for him too so how can I help us both??
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by on Mar. 4, 2012 at 7:05 PM
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Replies (1-9):
blondie.mom
by on Mar. 4, 2012 at 7:08 PM
I'd sit down with him and lay it out. Both of you need time by yourselves, and time together as a family. It is a tough adjustment for everyone. Best of luck! If it doesn't get better, maybe counseling?
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MegG25
by on Mar. 4, 2012 at 7:11 PM

Communication has been our biggest thing.  It has helped us immensely, I can vent to dh about being frustrated and he knows it's not personal.  But I would encourage him to go out so you can have quiet time and try to have date night to reconnect again.  It's a hard adjustment for everybody and it will take some time.

violinjewel
by Julia on Mar. 4, 2012 at 7:13 PM
I would say talk to him. It's an adjustment for everyone.
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BompsMum
by on Mar. 4, 2012 at 7:15 PM

that is a rough one, i agree with the other ladies that you need to discuss it with him. he might be having a hard time as well and his way of letting off steam is to do his things (instead of family time) and he might not realize how it looks from your point of view. my husband isnt a huge empathizer and it takes me breaking it down for him at times, but i pick and choose my battles.

i hope things start improving for you, it sounds like you recognize what needs to be fixed and doing it with your husband's help is crucial. good luck!!

SierraLynn
by on Mar. 4, 2012 at 7:18 PM
Communicate, patients, communicate.
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booklver81
by on Mar. 4, 2012 at 7:22 PM

 you just need to talk to him...let him know how you're feeling and listen to what he's going through too.  Hope you feel better!  Good luck!

Aqua_Jen
by on Mar. 4, 2012 at 7:28 PM
Should I give it more time before I talk to him? He's been home a few weeks but I really don't want him to get defensive and not hear what I'm really saying...
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BompsMum
by on Mar. 4, 2012 at 7:32 PM
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there might not be a 'right time' to tell him, just make sure it doesnt come out when you are super stressed or when you are arguing with him, maybe start out the conversation slowly and if it starts taking a bad turn then give it some more time.

lilnena98
by on Mar. 4, 2012 at 7:33 PM

Communicate. It's an adjusting phase for both of you.

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