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Military Families Military Families

im not military yet but my heart is set like my love for my kids

Posted by on Apr. 12, 2012 at 6:56 PM
  • 87 Replies
1 mom liked this

 

Poll

Question: should i join the military being a mom of 2 soon to be 3?

Options:

join the military

stay at home and just be a security guard


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Total Votes: 37

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Ok im not military yet but i know i want to be. Im pregnant right now about 2 months but as soon as i have the baby my recruiter told me i just need to recover for 6 months and i can join. its going to suck leaving my girls nd fiance behind but i really want to do this since i was little i wanted to join. i almost joined at 17 with my parents consent but thats when i met my fiance and we got in a motorcycle accident and i was hurt pretty bad.. i recovered fast though and when i told my fiance what i wanted he told me he would leave me so i stayed with him and now we have 2 kids and 1 on the way and we talked a few months back and he agreed to support me then i found out i was pregnant again nd i have to wait longer then i was anticipating b4 i found out i was preggos i thought i would be in by the end of summer but now it might be next summer because of the baby....... i just know its going to be hard to leave my babys nd my man but i really feel like this is my calling i want to be army strong!!!!!!!!!!!!!

by on Apr. 12, 2012 at 6:56 PM
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Replies (1-10):
vintage-misha
by on Apr. 12, 2012 at 6:58 PM
6 moms liked this
Good luck getting a waiver.
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4ever-SJ
by Gold Member on Apr. 12, 2012 at 6:59 PM
4 moms liked this
God, I don't know but your font is irritating.
afwifey4510
by on Apr. 12, 2012 at 7:03 PM
Id say stay at home. Youd have to sign your kids away to your fiancee for basic and school. The number 3 dqs you unless you sign them away. And youd have to wait to marry your fiancee until after basic. Military is making cutbacks and if you broke anything or has any sort of trauma from your accident, you would need a waiver. Which given the downsizing of the military is damn near impossible. But the decision is up to you ultimately. So good luck.
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KWnavywife
by on Apr. 12, 2012 at 7:04 PM
2 moms liked this
I'm probably not going to have a popular opinion here but for you to up and leave your girls like that is incredibly selfish. It seems to me that the military dream ship has sailed and you failed to climb aboard. Oh and good luck on your man staying. He's already made it clear this isn't the life he wants. I'm not trying to be rude or whatever, but I've seen it. Kudos to your desire for serving out country (truly ) but I have a feeling you don't really have a good idea of just what is at stake.
SusanD
by Silver Member on Apr. 12, 2012 at 7:07 PM
4 moms liked this

Well, I'm going to be honest with you...unless you are married then you will not be able to enlist as a single parent or sign over custody of your children (depending upon branch). Then if you are married, you would have to get a waiver for having 4 dependants, because there is a limit to the total number of children (plus spouse) that you can enlist with. This is because it is unlikely (it can be done, though I'm sure its very difficult) that you will be able to maintain a family of that size on newly enlisted pay. Beyond that, you would have to pass the physical to enlist...you said that you had a severe motorcycle accident...depending upon the injuries you had, you may have to have additional waivers. Getting ONE waiver (depending upon what its for) is far easier than getting multiple waivers. With the military reducing its numbers the way that it is, they honestly are looking for people who meet their enlistment criteria as perfectly as possible (ex. 18yr old male, no children, no significant health history, no criminal record, high GT score, high fitness level).

Beyond that, if you do manage to enlist (I'm sorry if I sound negative, but with the state of things right now I'm just being honest) then you are looking at having to leave your children for extended periods of time. Is your fiance (who had an issue with you enlisting years ago) going to be ok with you being gone for months to a year at a time without being able to just call you or go see you? Are your children going to be ok with that? Are YOU going to be ok with that? Do you feel that you could support your entire family on the income of a PVT? Thats less than 1400.00 a month, plus your housing allowance. In some areas its difficult for spouses to find solid employment, does your fiance have a skill set that will allow him to find a good job where ever you end up? What about childcare? If your fiance's field works long hours, and you work long hours...then you may have trouble finding good quality (reliable) childcare.

cocoroo
by Coco on Apr. 12, 2012 at 7:08 PM
Good luck getting in with three children. I don't know if you have heard, but it isn't as easy to join the military as it used to be. They don't like people going in with a lot a dependents. As someone else said, you wll need to sign over custody to your df.
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Sparta.
by Bronze Member on Apr. 12, 2012 at 7:10 PM
I have seen quite a few posts like this since they announced the cutbacks.....do these people not watch the news? And why do recruiters even tell them they can enlist when so obviously with 4 dependants there is no way.
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cocoroo
by Coco on Apr. 12, 2012 at 7:11 PM
1 mom liked this
The last sentence in the 1st paragraph perfectly describes my son. It has nothing to do with the post, but I like to let everyone know how wonderful my children are every once in awhile.


Quoting SusanD:

Well, I'm going to be honest with you...unless you are married then you will not be able to enlist as a single parent or sign over custody of your children (depending upon branch). Then if you are married, you would have to get a waiver for having 4 dependants, because there is a limit to the total number of children (plus spouse) that you can enlist with. This is because it is unlikely (it can be done, though I'm sure its very difficult) that you will be able to maintain a family of that size on newly enlisted pay. Beyond that, you would have to pass the physical to enlist...you said that you had a severe motorcycle accident...depending upon the injuries you had, you may have to have additional waivers. Getting ONE waiver (depending upon what its for) is far easier than getting multiple waivers. With the military reducing its numbers the way that it is, they honestly are looking for people who meet their enlistment criteria as perfectly as possible (ex. 18yr old male, no children, no significant health history, no criminal record, high GT score, high fitness level).

Beyond that, if you do manage to enlist (I'm sorry if I sound negative, but with the state of things right now I'm just being honest) then you are looking at having to leave your children for extended periods of time. Is your fiance (who had an issue with you enlisting years ago) going to be ok with you being gone for months to a year at a time without being able to just call you or go see you? Are your children going to be ok with that? Are YOU going to be ok with that? Do you feel that you could support your entire family on the income of a PVT? Thats less than 1400.00 a month, plus your housing allowance. In some areas its difficult for spouses to find solid employment, does your fiance have a skill set that will allow him to find a good job where ever you end up? What about childcare? If your fiance's field works long hours, and you work long hours...then you may have trouble finding good quality (reliable) childcare.


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cocoroo
by Coco on Apr. 12, 2012 at 7:11 PM
They like to lie to people?


Quoting Sparta.:

I have seen quite a few posts like this since they announced the cutbacks.....do these people not watch the news? And why do recruiters even tell them they can enlist when so obviously with 4 dependants there is no way.

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BompsMum
by on Apr. 12, 2012 at 7:23 PM

it might be about making the numbers. like someone pointed out its hard to get the 'right' type of person. i have a friend who is a recruiter and there was a time that they were pushing to get females, under __ age and that scored higher than __ etc. that narrows down who you can get in but i guess its better to get someone in and have them kicked out??? no clue why the recruiter would make it sound like a breeze for her to sign up

Quoting Sparta.:

I have seen quite a few posts like this since they announced the cutbacks.....do these people not watch the news? And why do recruiters even tell them they can enlist when so obviously with 4 dependants there is no way.


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