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Curiosity - NOT being a jerk! - UPDATE

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When someone posts that their husband/boyfriend/significant other enlisted, why do some say "We" are in the Army/Navy/AF/Marines? "We" are not, the enlisted is.

Thank you all for the clarification on the use of "we".  It seems that some use it as a generalization to make explanations easier to family and friends, some use it because it aids in the support of the actual enlisted, and others use it because they really believe they are part of the military!

I can see how having to deal with the aggravation of moving all the time, not being able to see your significant other, being the only parent for extended periods of time, and other military family related issues can become quite a headache.  I sympathize (which means I don't understand completely, I have a general idea of how you feel.)

As for all the women who think I'm going to be a "horrible mother in law", I admit to being a nosey nellie, and that's all it is...being nosey.  I am not an interfering isabelle.

I read a lot of the posts on this forum and don't comment on many of them because I have no clue what it's like to be in your shoes (wife of an enlisted.)

I will ask questions in the future, and I expect to get bashed because some people think that unknowledgeable means stupid.  In my eyes, the only stupid people are the ones who don't ask questions.

by on Apr. 27, 2012 at 6:43 AM
Replies (131-135):
by on Apr. 30, 2012 at 2:35 AM
1 mom liked this
Holy hell! What a clusterfuck.
by on Apr. 30, 2012 at 2:58 AM
1 mom liked this
Quoting Livinwith3boys:

Let me add that I do NOT wear my husband's rank....WE are not his rank, he is...but WE are in the military because WE are stationed in a place that makes us very excluded from "off post" and the military dictates our lives together.

You are a military family, but you, yourself, are NOT in the military. Your husband is.
by Bronze Member on Apr. 30, 2012 at 2:59 AM
Posted on CafeMom Mobile
by on Apr. 30, 2012 at 7:44 AM

You're not being a jerk?

Quoting Princesshera1:

 Your not says "army mom" because I'm proud of my son.  It's my first child to join in service.  I couldn't find anything that said "Proud Mom of Army Son!" I'll send a request to one of the siggy ladies and ask to have one made.  Does that sound better?

Quoting Livinwith3boys:

Not to be rude, but in the same context, why is your profile picture "army mom" and not "trucker wife" are ALL of your kids in the Army? Why not have their profession blasted all over the place? Also, why does your child's decision to join the Army, effect you in any way? After all, the way you see it, HE is the only one that joined right?


by on May. 1, 2012 at 7:56 AM

 Thank you for the links! =)  I have used them to assist me in creating my own group geared more towards the moms of soldiers. 

Quoting KimmyShaw:

I did read it. Either way, these sites will help you understand WHY some of us feel this way (or say it) and WHY its OK and correct. You're welcome for answering your question.

Another site:


Quoting Princesshera1:

 Please read my original post edit - it seems we were both typing at the same time!

Quoting KimmyShaw:


OP, you could never fully understand it unless you lived the life. Not only does my career come to a complete halt every time we move but so does my DD'slife.

The military has huge regards for family (although most times it doest seem like it to us) and they also advocate that families are part of the "team" too so its not just an entitlement feeling its actually encouraged that we feel part of it. A couple sites below for example.



Quoting beerebelly:

 Because my name is on his page 2, because I am enrolled in the Defense Enrollment Eligibility Reporting System, I am the beneficiary to his SGLI, because I am listed on the orders for his pcs, because without me he would not qualify for base housing. Hmm I guess thats all I got. Bored today?





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