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Need some advice and comfort from military spouses

Posted by on May. 1, 2012 at 3:46 PM
  • 10 Replies
Hello all. My DH is in bootcamp right now. He is into his 6th week. I am very hurt right now. In his 5th week he was allowed to make one phone call to home. I waited by the phone all night Friday but no call. Saturday morning I get a text from his mother that he had called his father. I lost it I was hurt in so many different ways. I am furious at his father that he couldn't pick up the phone and call me to let me know my DH was safe and where he was stationed. I'm upset at my DH because if you missed us ( my daughter and I) then why didn't you call us. So then I figured he would write to me and explain why he choose to call his dad and also give me the info about our new station, but no letter this week. I have only gotten two letters from him! Right now I'm beside myself. Just have so many things running through my head. Does he still want to be with me, does he really love me, how could he make that call and not think that was going to hurt me. Please moms how did you coupe with all this. Thank you for letting me rant. Just hurt and sad.
by on May. 1, 2012 at 3:46 PM
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Replies (1-10):
barrelracer1699
by Chel on May. 1, 2012 at 3:53 PM
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Is his dad prior service? Maybe he needed to talk to his dad about something. I wouldn't be all that upset about it and I think you are putting too much thought in to it. At week 6 he should be where he is training and doing just that training. Are you sure he even knows where his orders are for? My husband didn't know until like 7-8 weeks where we were going! Just chill out and relax and stop making yourself go crazy with all the what ifs. You need to get out and keep yourself busy too to help keep your mind from that kind of stuff and speed up the time!

Apollos82
by on May. 1, 2012 at 3:56 PM
2 moms liked this

Perhaps he is having a pretty hard time there and didn't want to "lose it" in front of you. He may have wanted to still appear strong to you, and needed to whine and complain, so he called his dad. 

Soniam301
by Sonia on May. 1, 2012 at 3:59 PM
I agree with the others. This won't be the first or last time that he will call someone else besides you. Differemt stress will need a different opinion. He wanted his dads.

Now, I would be mad at his dad for not calling to say he was ok, but not dh.
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tinkerspell
by Bronze Member on May. 1, 2012 at 4:05 PM
1 mom liked this
My husband does things like that he will call his mom or grandma and vent to them about the stress of deployment. So that way when he calls me he is all relaxed about everything its his way of protecting me from too much stress while he is away the positve is that his family and i get along great and have nothong but the best intiotions when it comes to me and the family.
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chrlstoncharmed
by Melissa on May. 1, 2012 at 4:27 PM
1 mom liked this

My husband's first call from bootcamp was to his father, also. As he explained it to me, there is that moment in bootcamp where you realize you are your father's son. It's an entirely new level of mutual love, respect and pride. You shouldn't be upset with him for wanting to make that connection.

airforcewife90
by on May. 1, 2012 at 4:36 PM
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 My DH just finished basic in dec. all of his calls where to me unless he had to get info from his parents but I still got a call once a week. I only got 3 letters the whole time he was gone. I went though thinking that he didnt love me anymore and they he didnt want me anymore too. you know what I was crazy. His graduation came and it made everything better. We were inseparable. He was just too busy to write and wanted to but he was just too busy. Maybe your DH had a bad week and didnt want to worry you about how hard of a time he is having. I bet he has a good reason why he didnt call. maybe ask his dad what they talked about? Maybe the pp's are right and he just needed his dad for once. hang in there basic should almost be over. Once you get to graduation everything will be so much better!

SierraLynn
by on May. 1, 2012 at 4:56 PM
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I think you're thinking wayyyy to far into it. Just clam down and relax.
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jas_momof2
by アニメの雌犬 on May. 1, 2012 at 5:24 PM

I agree with Melissa...  Certain things happen in boot that a good phone call to dad put things in perspective that you can't.  That doesn't mean he's not in love with you or that you don't mean anything to him.

He's extremely busy right now...  Give him a break....

Maddies_mom101
by on May. 1, 2012 at 6:58 PM

yup this

Quoting SierraLynn:

I think you're thinking wayyyy to far into it. Just clam down and relax.



Tigger0421
by Member on May. 1, 2012 at 7:59 PM
Thanks to everyone! I guess I just needed to think of it from a different perspective. His father doesn't talk to anyone so the way I got all the info was from his mom. They are separated. It's just been a little difficult for me. I took a day to myself today and feel much better. Just can't keep driving myself crazy. Thank you again ladies
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