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Military Families Military Families

Can I visit him prior to deployment? Need advice.

Posted by on May. 2, 2012 at 8:09 PM
  • 37 Replies

Daughter in law told my husband and I that no family members can visit with in 2 weeks of deployment. That just seemed strange to us. I payed for their move to Kansas but have never been up there. She stayed with us for a month while he was in California and he came to visit for a week in early April. My husband and I were going to drive to Kansas to take him and his wife to lunch just prior to his deployment. That's only one day and we would return home. Just wanted to know if  visits by parents were not allowed. If so we will stay home

by on May. 2, 2012 at 8:09 PM
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Replies (1-10):
ABeautifulLie
by on May. 2, 2012 at 8:11 PM

 I have never heard of that. I saw my husband off the day he left for deployment from a gym on post. We were allowed to stay with them until they boarded the buses that took them to the plane. He is active duty. I also have a cousin in the reserves, and again, family was allowed to sit with him until they got off the buses. Have you spoken to your son at all about this?

afwifey4510
by on May. 2, 2012 at 8:16 PM
She probably wants all his time amd attention to her (and kids if there is any). It's a really emotional point in time for spouses. Where they try to get 6+ months of affection in in a short amount of time. It's not forbidden, it's just her wishes. Maybe go to see him 3 weeks to a month prior to deployment? Or speak to both of them about it?
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katelynsmommy30
by on May. 2, 2012 at 8:16 PM
Not true. My in laws were at each deployment send off, including when I dropped DH off. They would usually come 4 or 5 days before he deployed and stay till he left.
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katelynsmommy30
by on May. 2, 2012 at 8:17 PM
Oh I should add, 2 of the 3 deployments my dh went on we're out of Kansas.
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SierraLynn
by on May. 2, 2012 at 8:20 PM
Yeah that's not accurate at all. She probably want to spend the max amount of time with him as possible. Which is understandable. It's a tough time for a couple.
I would see about visiting a month prior. That should be okay.
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katelynsmommy30
by on May. 2, 2012 at 8:21 PM
I agree with this too. I would talk to your son. It really is a very emotional time. And having family visit and to entertain, takes away the personal time that he and his wife and kids if any, need. But you also said you ony wanted to see them for lunch, which I do not see any problem with that. But I am very easy going when it comes to those times. My dh and his family are close and they have always gotten a hotel during the times they have visited which made it nice. Just talk to your son.


Quoting afwifey4510:

She probably wants all his time amd attention to her (and kids if there is any). It's a really emotional point in time for spouses. Where they try to get 6+ months of affection in in a short amount of time. It's not forbidden, it's just her wishes. Maybe go to see him 3 weeks to a month prior to deployment? Or speak to both of them about it?

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Ambs111
by on May. 2, 2012 at 8:23 PM

Never heard of that myself either. Prior to deployment all branches encourage "Family Day". Check to see what source the daughter in law has, or her underlying motives.

cocoroo
by Coco on May. 2, 2012 at 8:23 PM
1 mom liked this
I don't think she is telling you the truth and she just wants him to himself. I personally wouldn't want in-laws around right before my dh's deployments.
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annasew
by on May. 2, 2012 at 8:28 PM

Thats is not true.  You can be there until he gets on the bus to leave.   My dh has deployed from there 3 times.

ASigler86
by on May. 2, 2012 at 8:31 PM
Those may be their family rules. I wanted everyone gone before DH deployed. A few weeks or a month before; sure. But leading up to it is our time as a family. The last thing I need is the stress of the in laws.
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