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Military Families Military Families

Can I visit him prior to deployment? Need advice.

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Daughter in law told my husband and I that no family members can visit with in 2 weeks of deployment. That just seemed strange to us. I payed for their move to Kansas but have never been up there. She stayed with us for a month while he was in California and he came to visit for a week in early April. My husband and I were going to drive to Kansas to take him and his wife to lunch just prior to his deployment. That's only one day and we would return home. Just wanted to know if  visits by parents were not allowed. If so we will stay home

by on May. 2, 2012 at 8:09 PM
Replies (11-20):
Maddies_mom101
by on May. 2, 2012 at 8:35 PM
3 moms liked this

why would you pay for them to move? if it was military then the military would pay for them to move.

 


momofkamnlela
by Bronze Member on May. 2, 2012 at 8:38 PM
I agree she is just wanting alone time. I don't see anything wrong with having lunch if you did it day before he leaves. I like it just being me and dh for the send off, but if dh wanted his extended family there I guess I would be ok with it.
Quoting katelynsmommy30:


BabyGirlEme10
by on May. 2, 2012 at 8:40 PM
Quite honestly you can't imagine how bad I would LOVE to tell mil that. My in laws pushed a visit the few days before dh leaves on us. I have no choice but to let them come. It seriously pisses me off bc that is our last few days together before he leaves. They had their chance to be there when he leaves/comes home & didn't do it before we were married. Why should I share those last couple days? I just want to lay on the couch with dh & snuggle with him & our son as a family. Now I'm being forced to entertain in laws instead of relax & cry. I have to be strong to play host.
I'm sorry if that makes you mad. That is MY situation.
I do understand going maybe a week before though.
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4ever-SJ
by Gold Member on May. 2, 2012 at 8:43 PM
Ditto.


Quoting cocoroo:

I don't think she is telling you the truth and she just wants him to himself. I personally wouldn't want in-laws around right before my dh's deployments.

Posted on CafeMom Mobile
chrlstoncharmed
by Melissa on May. 2, 2012 at 8:55 PM

It might depend on if he's still in the thick of pre-deployment training. If so, I'm sorry, but there isn't any time he could give to you, anyway.  

jas_momof2
by アニメの雌犬 on May. 2, 2012 at 9:04 PM

This - but if he's not, she's lying...

Quoting chrlstoncharmed:

It might depend on if he's still in the thick of pre-deployment training. If so, I'm sorry, but there isn't any time he could give to you, anyway.  



usmclife58
by Nikki on May. 2, 2012 at 9:49 PM

It could be family rules. I have heard/ read that family visits should take place one month before and after deployments though. That is usually what is recommended, I believe...

We try to use the two week rule. We like the two weeks before to be all about us. Things are too tense to try to entertain.

violinjewel
by Julia on May. 2, 2012 at 9:52 PM



Quoting cocoroo:

I don't think she is telling you the truth and she just wants him to himself. I personally wouldn't want in-laws around right before my dh's deployments.

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katelynsmommy30
by on May. 2, 2012 at 9:59 PM
I have seen this too, as recommendations posted on the unit web page and such. I've also read this in articles in different places. I'm being vague because for the life of me I can't remember exactly where, except the ones posted in my dh's units page, but I think it is more then reasonable to ask for alone time before and after a deployment if that is what a family chooses.


Quoting usmclife58:

It could be family rules. I have heard/ read that family visits should take place one month before and after deployments though. That is usually what is recommended, I believe...

We try to use the two week rule. We like the two weeks before to be all about us. Things are too tense to try to entertain.


Posted on CafeMom Mobile
KWnavywife
by on May. 2, 2012 at 10:02 PM
It's not regs but preference. I'd put money on she wants that time for just them. As a spouse, the days right before a deployment are some of the hardest. If you have and respect for her and their relationship, go a few weeks prior.
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