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Military Families Military Families

Can I visit him prior to deployment? Need advice.

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Daughter in law told my husband and I that no family members can visit with in 2 weeks of deployment. That just seemed strange to us. I payed for their move to Kansas but have never been up there. She stayed with us for a month while he was in California and he came to visit for a week in early April. My husband and I were going to drive to Kansas to take him and his wife to lunch just prior to his deployment. That's only one day and we would return home. Just wanted to know if  visits by parents were not allowed. If so we will stay home

by on May. 2, 2012 at 8:09 PM
Replies (21-30):
vintage-misha
by on May. 3, 2012 at 12:45 AM


Quoting cocoroo:

I don't think she is telling you the truth and she just wants him to himself. I personally wouldn't want in-laws around right before my dh's deployments.
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adrianna1043
by Adrianna on May. 3, 2012 at 1:09 AM
This

Quoting cocoroo:

I don't think she is telling you the truth and she just wants him to himself. I personally wouldn't want in-laws around right before my dh's deployments.
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LOswald0314
by Lindsey on May. 3, 2012 at 3:45 AM
I would just respect their wishes and visit a few weeks earlier. Those last couple weeks are rough.
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dballa
by on May. 3, 2012 at 8:29 AM

I've never heard of that either and I've been around the military for a long time.  It may be a unit recommendation, I don't know.  Different units and branches of services can have different rules or recommendations.

As much as you want to see him before maybe you need to see him prior to that two week window.  I know if my husband was deploying I wouldn't want any family members there the last two weeks.  It's usually very busy and can be stressful.

I wouldn't take it personally.  Most if not all the people I've been around prefer to have their spouse and kids NOT parents, etc around before deployment.

barrelracer1699
by Chel on May. 3, 2012 at 9:27 AM

What most of them said! My mom was down just before my husband deployed but I had broken my foot and had surgery and needed the help. She was gone I guess about 2 weeks before he deployed.

82ndairbornewif
by on May. 3, 2012 at 9:31 AM
1 mom liked this
Its just what she wants to tell you, not the rules. Personally i think your son and his wife could spare a day to have lunch, i dont think thats overstepping boundries etc. its one day, hes your son, im sorry.
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dmfab09
by on May. 3, 2012 at 10:15 AM
I am in Kansas, and my husband has deployed from here. He had 2 weeks of leave between retuning fom CA for training and actually deploying. We decided to go and visit family for a few days so we did not have a revolving door here at home lol. The. The other part of leave was our time. We had dinner with his parents, sister, and brother-in-law a couple nights before he deployed. The day I took him to actually deploy, my friend and her kids came because my husband had been more of a father to them than there own for a large part of their life; we wanted them to experience this part. Anyway, my point is this is not an Army rule, but it may be her/their personal preference. I had some small, similar issues with my in-laws. We talked and got to the bottom of things, and that is where we found my husband lol. He was basically telling us both what we wanted to hear, and then left it so we were upset with each other. Once we figured that out and talked, things have been great for years and years. So if this is their reasoning for saying that, they need to be up front and honest.
Nay1983
by on May. 3, 2012 at 12:39 PM
1 mom liked this

Not true.  My MIL would always come to see my husband off.  I didnt mind b/c she held me together and me her.  When I deployed last year no one was there for my DH and I wish there was b/c he fell apart the day after I left ( my baby was 6 months and very sick at the time).  It is all personal preferance though and most people prefer that extra family time the last weeks.  I would do what the other ladies suggested and just go earlier than planned to avoid conflict :) 

ac10
by on May. 3, 2012 at 6:20 PM

They probably want to be alone. That's understandable.

babowes
by on May. 3, 2012 at 7:20 PM
Visit all you want as long as he shows up to work on time.
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