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Military Families Military Families

Women in the military with children

Posted by on May. 6, 2012 at 8:57 AM
  • 49 Replies

How do you view military women that became a mom before they went in?  Do you feel they are neglecting their child or helping to make a better life for them?  I have a baby and she is the best thing in my world.  I don't know what I would do without her, but I still want to go into the military.  I will be hopefully going in a year or sooner.  Everybody is so negative towards me because they keep saying that my daughter needs me, and everything like that.  I don't know what to think anymore.  I don't want her to feel like I am neglecting her, or that mommy doesn't love her because she is never there.  She is 6 months old, so I was thinking that if I start now, she will be too young to realize and as she gets older it won't bother her so bad.  I would like to hear your views on it.  Also, if you are a mom in the military, how do you feel with leaving and everything like that?  Thanks for the advice.

by on May. 6, 2012 at 8:57 AM
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Replies (1-10):
ASigler86
by on May. 6, 2012 at 8:59 AM
Are you married? If not, are you willing to give up custody to your baby girl to join?
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pregers2011
by on May. 6, 2012 at 9:00 AM

I will be married by the time I go.

Quoting ASigler86:

Are you married? If not, are you willing to give up custody to your baby girl to join?


ASigler86
by on May. 6, 2012 at 9:01 AM
Then it's your choice. Everyone knows what they can handle, and if you think you can do it; go for it.

Only you know what is best for your family.


Quoting pregers2011:

I will be married by the time I go.

Quoting ASigler86:

Are you married? If not, are you willing to give up custody to your baby girl to join?


Posted on CafeMom Mobile
pregers2011
by on May. 6, 2012 at 9:04 AM

Thank you for your advice

Quoting ASigler86:

Then it's your choice. Everyone knows what they can handle, and if you think you can do it; go for it.

Only you know what is best for your family.


Quoting pregers2011:

I will be married by the time I go.

Quoting ASigler86:

Are you married? If not, are you willing to give up custody to your baby girl to join?



SierraLynn
by on May. 6, 2012 at 9:08 AM


Quoting ASigler86:

Then it's your choice. Everyone knows what they can handle, and if you think you can do it; go for it.



Only you know what is best for your family.




Quoting pregers2011:

I will be married by the time I go.

Quoting ASigler86:

Are you married? If not, are you willing to give up custody to your baby girl to join?


Posted on CafeMom Mobile
Vobregon91
by on May. 6, 2012 at 9:10 AM
3 moms liked this
I have daughter and technically single and there was no giving up custody I was in before I had her people ^^^ are always going to be negative my first deployment she was 6 months old i left and came back to a running munchkin it was heart breaking I missed so much but the big thing is phone calls Skype calls any and every form of communication dont let other people bring you down alotta people dont know what they're talking about or even undrstand you or the situation I get it all the time there's no proper way to respond there's a million different answer but all those "super mommies" (mrs high and mighty) are gonna bring up a million different things but you know what's right you know what will work you know what you can handle
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jas_momof2
by アニメの雌犬 on May. 6, 2012 at 9:14 AM
1 mom liked this

Do what you feel is best.  It's not an easy thing if you're single.  One of my dear friends is single and is in the AF...  It's been hard, but for her - it's been worth it.

SierraLynn
by on May. 6, 2012 at 9:17 AM
If you were already in, then no you wouldn't have to give custody up. Just establish a solid family care plan. But for a single person to join with a child is not allowed. Hence, they would have to give up temporary custody to sign a contract and go off for training. Once training is done, custody is yours again as long as your FCP can hold up.

Quoting Vobregon91:

I have daughter and technically single and there was no giving up custody I was in before I had her people ^^^ are always going to be negative my first deployment she was 6 months old i left and came back to a running munchkin it was heart breaking I missed so much but the big thing is phone calls Skype calls any and every form of communication dont let other people bring you down alotta people dont know what they're talking about or even undrstand you or the situation I get it all the time there's no proper way to respond there's a million different answer but all those "super mommies" (mrs high and mighty) are gonna bring up a million different things but you know what's right you know what will work you know what you can handle
Posted on CafeMom Mobile
gunsgirl
by Silver Member on May. 6, 2012 at 9:38 AM
1 mom liked this

I am 47 years old, I was going to join the AF 29 years ago- my DS was about a year old and I was single ( back then you could join as a single parent)

I would have had to leave him for about 12 months with BC and school. I just couldn't do it. I was all ready to go to meps, and I backed out.

it was the only thing in my life I regret- I should have been stronger and I should have gone in. My parents were going to take care of him until I got out of school, but a year was such a long time to not see him.

I was able to go to college and got a decent job, but I am am still working full time- with no retirement and no benefits for myself.

I think any one should do what they think is best for themselves.

pregers2011
by on May. 6, 2012 at 9:43 AM

Thank you all from the bottom of my heart for the advice.  I appreciate all you ladies have said!!!

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