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Military Families Military Families

Depression and deployment

Posted by on May. 8, 2012 at 10:59 AM
  • 31 Replies

I need some help...BAD right now :( My husband moved me back home 3 months prior to his deployment so I could be close to family when I had our second son. Our first is 5 and Autistic. this past year has been the WORST of my life!!!! I have gotten NO HELP from family, developed BAD BAD manic depression, HIGH anxiety, BAD depression, I just cant handle life anymore! NO ONE takes our insurance around here. I have been fighting since we moved here about a yr ago. I go to my pmc every 2 weeks for the past 4 months for help and she does nothing for me :( she sent me to mental health and of course at the end of the session they said im sorry we dont take ur insurance but later that day I got a phone call from C.P.S. The reason. WELL Back in DEC (baby was 4 months) When he was SOOOOO colic were talking it took me 7 HOURS just to grocery shop with him crying and my 5 yr old freaking out like he ALWAYS does at the store...I would just sit in the middle of the isle and cry myself :'( so I started drinking to numb the pain. Needless to say my drinking got out of control. I told my family and friends EVERYTHING. EXACTLY how i was feeling. Nobody cared, nobody listened. The whole time hes been gone, i have not ONCE gotten time to myself. I am numb now. I cant do it no more. I cant. I just want to give up on life. he hardly calls home and when he does anymore i cant even look at him because in a way i blame him but I know thats not fair or right :( but my question is this. I want to go get help.i just cant get myself out of this hole. and I cant go get help and leave my kids behind like there dad did. would this be considered a family emergency? ugh I just dont know what to do anymore :'(

by on May. 8, 2012 at 10:59 AM
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Replies (1-10):
chrlstoncharmed
by Melissa on May. 8, 2012 at 11:19 AM

Please don't make this an emergency for your husband's sake. What are your other options? I mean realistic, do-able options.

SierraLynn
by Just Me on May. 8, 2012 at 11:24 AM
I would try to get away from your family. They sound toxic, in the way of just not caring. Which is sad. Try and see if you can get yourself moved back and get some help at a place that takes tricare. Living with family is not always a good choice. I'm sorry your in such a rough spot.
But please, don't make an emergency of this for your husband.
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besosfantasies
by on May. 8, 2012 at 11:30 AM
1 mom liked this

This. Especially since your oldest son is autistic and the other colic. This could be why family pulls away, because they do not know how to deal with it nor understand. I'd move back to duty station and start anew. You CAN do it, you just need better support systems. 

Also you need to explain to your husband the situation. Maybe not emotionally so, but he needs to know how you feel and what is going on. Trust me, he'll be on your side to move back. But I wouldn't suggest trying to pull him back stateside, he may regret it and whos to say he'll make it easier on you? 

Quoting SierraLynn:

I would try to get away from your family. They sound toxic, in the way of just not caring. Which is sad. Try and see if you can get yourself moved back and get some help at a place that takes tricare. Living with family is not always a good choice. I'm sorry your in such a rough spot.
But please, don't make an emergency of this for your husband.


lilkiddos
by on May. 8, 2012 at 11:34 AM

Im scared if I go back to post all I will do is drink 24:7, and if i dont get help soon with the suacidal thought then something bad will happen, but I WILL NOT leave my son behind

jas_momof2
by アニメの雌犬 on May. 8, 2012 at 11:35 AM
1 mom liked this

If you go back you'll be in an area that takes your insurance and you'll be able to get the help you need...

asaffell
by Ashley on May. 8, 2012 at 11:38 AM

Here's the thing, there will always be an excuse to drink. ALWAYS. You need to take charge of this situation and get the help you need now - it won't be any easier if you have your husband there because you still need to make the steps.

grlygrlz2
by on May. 8, 2012 at 11:41 AM
4 moms liked this

Have you called military one source's counseling line?  they can get you help in ANY area. Regardless of how close an installation is locatated to your current residence. 

http://www.militaryonesource.mil/MOS/f?p=MOS:CONTENT:0::::SV,UT,LG,CID,TID,COHE:Army%20Active,Member,EN,,,261882

Do you have a local YMCA?  Because your husband is deployed, in many areas, they offer free membership. It was suppose to be to certain military members, but I know my parents city opened it up to all military families. This would allow you to meet other moms, get your kids in activities, and allow you to build a safer network of peers.

Just a thought.   Good Luck.

4ever-SJ
by Gold Member on May. 8, 2012 at 11:43 AM
Call military onesource.

Also, is your 5 year old in an intervention program?
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ktelizabeth814
by Bronze Member on May. 8, 2012 at 12:11 PM
1 mom liked this
Also if you get a membership to the ymca they have 2 hrs free child care while you are in the facility.*atleast they did a few years ago* Go walk slowly on a treadmill & listen to music,swim laps,or take a class. Something for YOU. Even if you aren't big on excercise I went during my hubbys deployment just to have time away from the kids & just breathe!


Quoting grlygrlz2:

Have you called military one source's counseling line?  they can get you help in ANY area. Regardless of how close an installation is locatated to your current residence. 

http://www.militaryonesource.mil/MOS/f?p=MOS:CONTENT:0::::SV,UT,LG,CID,TID,COHE:Army%20Active,Member,EN,,,261882

Do you have a local YMCA?  Because your husband is deployed, in many areas, they offer free membership. It was suppose to be to certain military members, but I know my parents city opened it up to all military families. This would allow you to meet other moms, get your kids in activities, and allow you to build a safer network of peers.

Just a thought.   Good Luck.


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LOswald0314
by on May. 8, 2012 at 12:58 PM

 I agree.  Call miilitary one source.  They can help you in a lot of ways....find counseling in your area or give you info on moving back.

Quoting asaffell:

Here's the thing, there will always be an excuse to drink. ALWAYS. You need to take charge of this situation and get the help you need now - it won't be any easier if you have your husband there because you still need to make the steps.

 

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