Advertisement
Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)

Set in etch a sketch *Update

Posted by on May. 12, 2012 at 10:34 PM
  • 17 Replies

Love hearing that - don't you? *sarcasm*

A little backround - I am 26 weeks pregnant and the baby was diagnosed wtih Ventriculomegaly so I am going back to the states to deliver.

My husbands command tentively maybe just might be able to have him come home for the birth and the possible surgery she will need but again - set in etch a sketch. They are also considering a different work schedule for him for a maybe upcoming det so he can stay on base. 

My big frustration is the lack of any info on my side of it. I know on his side he doens't have the info and that that won't come but I have no idea where I will be moving to or even when I just know it's going to be soonish because of flying pregnant. I'm curious if I will be allowed a shipment of household goods? I probably won't be coming back but my husband might not be able to get new orders so I don't want to move everything. But I do want to know if I need to be setting up movers. I'm also wondering if they will allow a DLA. I'm thinking not because it's just me not my sponsor but a girl can hope right?

So I'm here stressing because I'll get to the states and probably have less then a month before the baby trying to find a place to live with no stuff, no spouse, no car and a lot of stress. My sister tells me I'm over stressing about this to try and deflect the stress I'm having about the baby (she's taking psychology classes can you tell?) Which I agree is probably true but even without that it's a lot to think about and worry. I'm also going to be moving with my two year old, should be a fun long flight home!

Sorry about the long rambling rant that probably makes no sense, tried to talk to dh but he has the why worry now mentality and is already exhausted from work right now. 12 hours, 7 days a week right now :(


Anybody have any experiance with ERD?


Update:

Finally received an email back from my dr who had made it sound like the hospital administrative department was handling the return but I was wrong. He told me that he talked to my husbands CMC on Friday and now it is up to the command. The CMC is supposed to talk to the CO and go through Bureau of Personel and then hopefully I'll be contacted by the detailer? I still don't have a location or a date and my husband is currently on a Det where I have no way of getting a hold of him and he can't really do much from there anyway. The command has been very busy with an upcoming deployment very soon and getting the jets ready for this current Det and whatnot I really hope something will happen before the boat pulls out but I don't have much faith. I understand that they are dealing with a lot which is why it is so much more frustrating that this wasn't started 6 and half weeks ago when we first found out. Also, my husband might have to go straight from his current location to the boat if the det runs long - I don't know when he is supposed to return if that doesn't happen.


I'm really scared and feel like everybody I talk to is telling me it's up to somebody else to handle. I'm looking into just getting my own ticket home but at this point it is stupidly expensive and I'm not even certain that's where they would send me. I also have to figure out a living situation and car when I get there so I'm really trying not dip into my savings account. We also want to save her cord blood for future treatment. 

I just really want to get there and talk to a specialist and get a care plan. We haven't even looked at the baby in three weeks to see if there is growth or not. A lot of these babies are born early, so extra stress wtih each passing day. 

I really am trying not to stress but it's getting hard. Every time I think about it I stress and it's getting to the point where every time I stress I start getting braxton hicks. 

by on May. 12, 2012 at 10:34 PM
Add your quick reply below:
You must be a member to reply to this post.
Replies (1-10):
Maddies_mom101
by on May. 12, 2012 at 10:48 PM

 wow  you are expecting alot aren't you....... why do you think you would get all sorts of money from the military becuase you have to move. Why would they ship your household goods? is your husband suppose to live with nothing?

is the military sending you to the states or are you doing it on your own?

 

oh and you saying  never heard if it

blondie.mom
by Charity on May. 12, 2012 at 10:53 PM
Hm I've never heard that saying before. But it does describe the military life, I suppose. Good luck with everything, but I don't think they will pay to ship your stuff since your Dh is not on new orders or anything. Best of luck!
Posted on CafeMom Mobile
LOswald0314
by Lindsey on May. 12, 2012 at 10:54 PM
I'm sorry I know nothing about that. I hope you can get some definite answers soon.
Posted on CafeMom Mobile
Elle.tea.22
by Bronze Member on May. 12, 2012 at 10:56 PM
No. But my life as is is set in etch a sketch. *hugs*
Whitney15
by on May. 12, 2012 at 10:58 PM
1 mom liked this
I've never heard the saying either! But, it does sound about right lol. I'm sorry you're going through so much...I hope it all gets figured out.
Posted on CafeMom Mobile
betsyfaith
by Betsy :) on May. 12, 2012 at 11:24 PM

that's a new saying to me, lol

as for your situation... are they doing this as an ERD?  if that's the case, they will move all of your belongings.  is it anticipated that with the situation, you won't be returning?  then more than likely they are scheduling it as an ERD, and again, your stuff will go with you.  if your not sure...is your dh staying in your house there while you return to the mainland or wherever they decide to send you, or are they moving him to the barracks as a geo bachelor?  if he's staying in the house anticipating that eventually you will return then i would say that no, the mil won't ship your stuff and anything you do want shipped will be at your expense.  I would also be talking to a tax, bc all of this is related to something medical, and any costs you may incur may be deductible.

your situation is so individualized that probably none of us will have the answers, and that's also probably why your not getting many answers from the military either while they figure out what it is that they are doing with you nad your family.

hope it smooths out sooner han later, especially at the very least knowing where it is that you will be sent.  That will also help you figure out what all you need once you get there and where you will stay and what not.

japanmommy
by Member on May. 13, 2012 at 1:19 AM
1 mom liked this


Quoting Maddies_mom101:

 wow  you are expecting alot aren't you....... why do you think you would get all sorts of money from the military becuase you have to move. Why would they ship your household goods? is your husband suppose to live with nothing?

is the military sending you to the states or are you doing it on your own?


oh and you saying  never heard if it

They are sending me because there is not adequate medical care here for the baby. I was hoping I could do an express shipment because I do need things when I am moved and was thinking DLA for first and last months rent. I don't intend on leaving my husband with nothing so that's another thing I was curious about is if they did move our house would they provide a temporary storage so when he gets back he can move into the barracks as a Geo bachelor - if he can't get new orders.

japanmommy
by Member on May. 13, 2012 at 1:26 AM


Quoting betsyfaith:

that's a new saying to me, lol

as for your situation... are they doing this as an ERD?  if that's the case, they will move all of your belongings.  is it anticipated that with the situation, you won't be returning?  then more than likely they are scheduling it as an ERD, and again, your stuff will go with you.  if your not sure...is your dh staying in your house there while you return to the mainland or wherever they decide to send you, or are they moving him to the barracks as a geo bachelor?  if he's staying in the house anticipating that eventually you will return then i would say that no, the mil won't ship your stuff and anything you do want shipped will be at your expense.  I would also be talking to a tax, bc all of this is related to something medical, and any costs you may incur may be deductible.

your situation is so individualized that probably none of us will have the answers, and that's also probably why your not getting many answers from the military either while they figure out what it is that they are doing with you nad your family.

hope it smooths out sooner han later, especially at the very least knowing where it is that you will be sent.  That will also help you figure out what all you need once you get there and where you will stay and what not.

I think they are doing it as an ERD but I'm not sure, my Dr said medivac to the states in one of his emails. Not a lot of info has been given since we had the ultrasound that found out. My Dr likes to drip feed me info I guess - but he's probably busy with other patients as well. He doesn't think that we will be coming back because if the babie's ventricles continue to grow it turns into Hydrocephalus and she'll probably need a shunt placed which comes with a lot of other medical concerns that can't be handled here at the hospital in Japan.

I'm really not sure what's going to happen with my husband after I leave. He may or may not be going on the boat and then hopefully hopefully be coming for the birth. That has been approved currently but still has to go throught the CO and can change at any moment. If humanitarian orders are denied he will become a Geo Bachelor and move into the barracks and I don't want to  leave him with nothing so I'm thinking if they don't have a storage option for his belongings I'll have to ask a friend to hold on to some things for a little while.

 

Apollos82
by Cassie on May. 13, 2012 at 1:32 AM
I'm sorry you're going through this. Looks like a classic "hurry up and wait" situation, which sucks. I have no knowledge of this sort of thing, but I can pass on that if you need to know something, becaus your situation is so unique, you will probably know it when you need to know it, if that makes sense. They aren't going to call you 20 minutes before you have to meet a plain with your stuff to fly stateside, ya know? (At least I hope not!) anyway, my point is that you will know when you know and stressing about all of it won't help baby, who needs all the help it can get.
Posted on CafeMom Mobile
sailorwifenmom
by on May. 13, 2012 at 9:11 AM
We're in Japan on a different base though. I just asked my dh, because they have had several erds at his command and we've got a friend who had some serious medical stuff going on.

If they think you are coming back and they do it as a medicav sort of thing they give you a perdiem. She was gone the first time well over a month while they ran tests and got things square for her surgery. She was in a hotel when she wasn't in the hospital. (I don't know if she paid up front and got it back or how much her perdiem was though - sorry.)

If they erd you yes, they will pack you out with the "family stuff" and your dh will most likely have to move onto the barracks or ship. Then, when he leaves, they will pack him out like a single guy. (I don't know if they track the weight from both and you have to be under, or if you get the full authorized amount then he gets a full amount.)

My dh said if this is something very serious (long term) with the baby, as opposed to something that is only a problem during the pg and delivery then you could also ask about a humanitarian transfer for him. (I'm sorry, I don't know anything about the medical condition you're talking about.)

Good luck to you - I hope everything goes ok with you and your little one!
Posted on CafeMom Mobile
Add your quick reply below:
You must be a member to reply to this post.
Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)