I have read countless 'help' sites, all which ALL say, "You knew you were marrying a soldier." We were married before. I am living on base, have been for almost a year, have introduced myself to the neighboring women, but they have never gotten back to me, pretty much pretended I didn't exist. I have tried to make friends, but I am obviously not welcome. I have only met one of these women once, but the other women from the block were there, and they don't know me, and they pretended I wasn't there. I am so alone. I have never been rude to anyone, never even had a conversation with anyone, but still a group that had never met me, knew nothing of me, shunned and ignored me. My husband is leaving in a month, and I am 19 hours away from anyone who knows me. I thought these women would be more understanding, accepting, and I have no idea what I have done since it was the first time I had met them, but it was devastating. I feel so alienated, so unwelcome, when women are on the street, they look away, ignoring me. I am just a woman, just like them, trying to cope with possibly losing my husband forever. Why are they making me an outsider? My husband will deploy to Afghanistan in a month, and I will be here, alone. When he has been gone before, I cannot get out of bed, I just cry the whole time he is gone. I am not suited for the military life, I already know, but I married him before he had any connection to the Army, and was given such a sense of safety and security by the man who enlisted my husband,
This reminds me, when are we hanging out? The kids are out of school now. I can come out your way since my children are easier to transport than your's.
Quoting adrianna1043:
I'm not the type of person that likes to hang out with people. I hang out with my kids, take them out, walk, watch tv, ect. So I'm no help. My husband is gone quite a bit, but I like being alone.
You do realize you can go off post. There is a movie theater in Hinesville. Not to mention, you aren't that far from Savannah. There are malls, movies, restaurants, etc in Savannah. It is a fun city for the first few times you go. And, don't forget, you aren't far from the Florida and SC beaches, or if you want to stay in Ga you can go to Tybee Island or Jekyll Island. I lived in Richmond Hill for 2 years, there is stuff to do, you just might have to leave Stewart and Hinesville.
Quoting AudraGreenTea:That sounds great, but here on Ft Stewart we have bowling and movies that came out four years ago, lol. Very small town, I guess it is contagious. No activities unless you count the NA meeting down the hall from FRG,
I'm not the OP, but I know the area where she is and yes they have all of that. They have a small water park, indoor play area for the kids, community centers on post, etc and there is a nice Y in Hinesville.
Quoting Susan0805:
Does your base have playgroup or holiday parties? Family day? Do they have classes you can sign up for? (our base has scrapbooking, sewing, couponing, bingo, etc), go to an enlisted wives meeting (or officers equivalent if applicable). Does your town have a YMCA? Does your base have a facebook page? I know it's hard, i know it's lonely, but get up! Get dressed! And put yourself out there! Things will get better!
Quoting AudraGreenTea:
Thanks guys. My husband will deploy in a month, I will be here alone, any coping techniques?
my hubby has been in AF since september and wont return until sept this yr. I work..i work alot than i stay involved in my sons activites. he plays sports he runs track i meet alot of other moms and wives this way and have actually made some cool friends. sorry you having such a hard time. I had to learn to be my own best friend i go to movies for some me time by me self. i know it sux try n make the best of it. good luck.
I totally know how you feel. I hate when people say "You knew you were marrying a soldier." Uhm, no, I didn't. We were married 6 years before he enlisted, and I even told him I did not want him to do it, that it was not right for me or our family. Its a good choice for some but I knew it wasn't for us. He did it anyway. And guess what, its not working out like he thought it would, and basically we're unhappy.
I'm also very alone. I don't m ake friends easy. I'm shy and come off as unfriendly I think to other people. So I have no family and no friends. And now my son is going through medical issues that require him to be near a Navy hospital that can take care of his needs and there are only 3, so basically we are stuck here. I'd been hoping we might get to go back home. And of course theres the possibility of me dealing with these issues without my husband, which consist of my son getting chemotherapy.
Anyway, didn't mean to go all off on my own poor me rant, just letting you know I feel the same way.
Check out MOMS Club or MOPS. I don't know how old your kids are, but when we moved here, I didn't know anyone and it was a great way to meet other like-minded moms with kids the same age. I live in a big military area, so some of the ladies were military spouses, but some weren't. I made some fantastic friends and even though my kids are a little older now, still hang out with many of them.
Honestly, if you're not able to get out of bed when he's gone, it sounds more than typical blues. Have you considered talking to someone? It could help.
Hang in there. It'll be okay.
Dual military?
- AudraGreenTea
on Jul. 7, 2012 at 2:58 AM