My husband has been in the air force for 9 years in december and it has been wonderful and also a struggle.I love my husband very much but he has just completely shut down.He doesnt like spending time with me and the kids and hes here but he really isnt here.Im considering leaving and i dont want to but i dont know how else to do this and the children are getting his distance now too.We have went to the chapline for a year and it is still at a standstill.If anyone has any advice,im all ears.Please help us.Thank you
This for sure.
Quoting MrsMWF:Have you asked him what he wants? Lay it all out there and ask him if he wants a divorce. If he says no then ask him why he isn't put the effort into the marriage. I
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This....
Quoting MrsMWF:Have you asked him what he wants? Lay it all out there and ask him if he wants a divorce. If he says no then ask him why he isn't put the effort into the marriage. I
Why is he distancing himself? Stress? Work? Something else going on at home? Communication is so important. You can't fix anything if you don't know what it is...
Quoting MrsMWF:Have you asked him what he wants? Lay it all out there and ask him if he wants a divorce. If he says no then ask him why he isn't put the effort into the marriage. I
Sorry that things are like this right now.
He has to be giving some kind of clues as to why he is acting like this.
If the kids are noticing this and he doesn't care, idk what I would do. I mean my kids are my everything and if their father was acting like that, I would just flat out ask him what the hell is going on!
If he couldn't give me an answer and was still distant from the kids and kids feeling like dad doesn't like them or love them, I would leave on that note, just to give the husband some time alone to figure this out.
I did with my ex husband, 11 years ago. Our child was just born and we got a divorce a year later. He just didn't want to be in the marriage anymore. He wans't happy. He told me this by me cornering him. I had it with him being distant and all that. So i left.
I am remarried with two more kids and a great hubby. He is engaged and has a kid with his fiance.
Guys are diff, they don't communicate very well so you just gotta get it out of him. Listen to what he is saying for clues, how he acts, his motions the way he says things all that.
I've been through this with my DH a few times. My DH is just the kind of person who stays so locked inside his head that he can't express what he's thinking or how he's feeling. He keeps to himself and never speaks up. It makes it even worse if I hound him, nag or bitch or if he feels threatened in any way.
One thing you might consider doing is just sitting him down and asking him how he's doing. Not just a light "hey how ya' doin" kinda thing. You're going to need to figure out how to get him to spill it with an open mind. If you truly want to know what's going on with him, be prepared for answers you may not like or don't want. But it may help. Get down to the dark details and figure out how to work on it.
Best of luck to you.
do they have any strong bonds retreats where you are at? I know when my DH came back from deployment he was way distant with myself and the children, it was almost as if he never came home. We went to the strong bond retreat in our state and it was the best thing for us, after that he started coming around slowly, we even sought out counceling. Good luck to you, I hope things get better.
Misty
ADA duty stations
- Malachi1
on Jul. 12, 2012 at 1:29 AM