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Military Families Military Families

How often do you send things to your soldier?

Posted by on Jul. 12, 2012 at 12:56 PM
  • 17 Replies

"My" soldier is my ex, and we don't really talk, but when he deployed he asked if our daughter (age 5) could send things.  He even sent some money for her to use for this purpose.  We started out sending one box a month.  The first month we sent the biggest flat rate box.  The next month we bought too much stuff so we had to use the largest and the medium flat rate boxes.  The next month was the same thing.  This month we got it all in one large flat rate box.  The thing is, since he and I don't talk, I get no feedback as to whether or not he likes the stuff we are sending or not.  We send a variety of snacks, mostly, and different stuff every time.  I honestly don't know what he likes.  I've sent him e-mails saying if he wants anything specific, let me know or if he really liked something let me know and we'll send it again.  He never responds.  I have no idea if I'm sending good stuff (although I'm sure anything he doesn't want will get shared with friends) or if I'm sending enough or too much.  We've already gone through the money he sent and I told him that.  He hasn't sent more money, but we keep sending boxes (mostly because of the shipping). 

by on Jul. 12, 2012 at 12:56 PM
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Replies (1-10):
beerebelly
by on Jul. 12, 2012 at 12:59 PM

 Has he been at least communicating with your daughter through calls, email, or letters?  Has he been letting her know he likes the boxes at least?

adrianna1043
by Adrianna on Jul. 12, 2012 at 1:18 PM
1 mom liked this
I would stop sending stuff, but that's just me. I never sent my husband anything. If he can't grow up and respond to your email, I wouldn't bother.
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besosfantasies
by on Jul. 12, 2012 at 1:23 PM

Does he tell his daughter he enjoys the things she sends him? 

I'd send my husband a variety of items.. he would NOT respond to anything so I had no clue at first either even though I knew some things he liked. Finally I told him about it and started asking specfic questions about specific items lol. I'd stop sending things until he asks about it. Oh and I've sent a box a month.

jas_momof2
by アニメの雌犬 on Jul. 12, 2012 at 1:30 PM
5 moms liked this

If he's not communicating with his daughter, I wouldn't send squat...

AnakaAlisyn
by on Jul. 13, 2012 at 12:27 AM

He calls every couple of weeks.  We ask if he got the package and he says yes.  We ask if he liked it and he says yes.  I guess we need to ask more specific questions.

Quoting beerebelly:

 Has he been at least communicating with your daughter through calls, email, or letters?  Has he been letting her know he likes the boxes at least?


cocoroo
by Coco on Jul. 13, 2012 at 12:51 AM

I don't send my husband stuff.  He doesn't want me to.  If I were in your situation, I would stop sending boxes until he starts communicating better.


Ankles
by Member on Jul. 13, 2012 at 1:53 AM
1 mom liked this
I would try and get a list of specific items from him. DH made a list for me before he deployed and then would update it. Towards the end I sent a lot of stuff for guys in his unit. DH also had regular contact with Iraqi kids so he asked that I send arts, craft, school supplies, toys, etc.
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Momof2Stepof3
by Member on Jul. 13, 2012 at 1:56 AM

While DH was deployed I sent every other month. I sent very large boxes. :) He was the only married guy in his shop so I took the other boys and 1 girl under my wing.

Momof2Stepof3
by Member on Jul. 13, 2012 at 1:58 AM

#1 thing the boys asked for was Lube. #1 thing the girl asked for was tampons the ships store couldn't keep them stocked.

Cukimonster
by on Jul. 13, 2012 at 2:15 AM
1 mom liked this

DH is ex army, medically retired due to issues from his 3 tours in Iraq.  I tried to send at least one box a month.

As for the items, if he doesn't say, I would just keep doing what you're doing, multi-packs, lots of choices.  And, even though he hasn't responded as he should, I would keep sending things as long as I could afford it. DH's last tour was 2009, so if things have changed over there since I last knew, and they do have more internet/phone access, then well, yes him not making every effort to talk with his child sucks.  But, it is so hard, tiring, and stressful over there.  You know him better than I do, but I want to give him the benefit of the doubt.  I am hoping he will either write, call, or if nothing else, thank you in person when he gets home.  If he doesn't, that's shitty of him.  But, do you think you would regret doing the nice thing if he doesn't appreciate it at all?  Maybe so, but at least karma is on your side. :) 

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