I just had mine and dh's first baby while he was/is deployed. he is soon to return. we are most definitely on the rocks (we were not doing well prior to deployment or when this baby was conceived). anyways, i am most definitely unhappy and i have done everything with our son 100% on my own. i personally am nervous about his homecoming for many reasons including how he will treat our son. he says kinda horrible (IMO) comments about our son. it makes me sad and not ready to "share". yeah, i am sure ull say "go to counselling" and i would so go however, our son is colicky (very) and i ebf so i cant go even 45 mins away from him(not that i even desire to). anyways, i am just not ready to have sex again. i dont want anything to do with dh and i feel guilty since hes been gone for so long. i just am about ready to call it quits and that makes me feel even more guilty since I just gave birth to his son. so not fair for our son regardless whether i love his dad or not. i just dont want to hate him as much as i do. i just want to get along for our son's sake. ugh! vent over.