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Military Families Military Families

Newbie Military Mom

Posted by on Aug. 6, 2012 at 2:27 PM
  • 12 Replies

       Hi. My 18 year old son is shipping off today for Fort Sill, Oklahoma where he will be in basic training for 9 weeks. Actually he left yesterday morning on a shuttle to Tampa Florida where he's flying out of today. I'm a new military mom...I have to wonder, how do military families do it? I have a good friend who hasn't seen her son in the Navy in over a year, and he's just re-enlisted too. The heart wrenching pain is so intence, it's paralysing sometimes as waves of grief wash over me... And it's only been a day! I can't even imagine a whole year.... it's worse than anything I think, because it's so unknown, wondering "what's he doing now" or walking past a baby picture on the wall, or making meals and remembering this is your "little guys" favorite food...and then those grief waves come again... I know many have told me that I really need to cutthe apron strings, that my baby is now a grown young man. But a mother never stops being a mother. Her baby will always be her baby even when they are bigger than she is (which my son is now). This is a very new thing to deal with...does this get ealsier?

by on Aug. 6, 2012 at 2:27 PM
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Replies (1-10):
amonkeymom
by on Aug. 6, 2012 at 3:58 PM
1 mom liked this

welcome


mommaaim12
by on Aug. 6, 2012 at 4:08 PM

Welcome! My husband leaves in 2 weeks to go to Ft. Sill for his basic!

chrlstoncharmed
by Melissa on Aug. 6, 2012 at 4:09 PM

Welcome to the group!

I don't have children in the military, but I do have grown children. I can't really agree with the sentiment that they have always been or will always be my babies. The relationship a mother has with her children grows and evolves as their children grow and evolve into adulthood. At least, that is my own experience. I think it's normal to feel nostalgic, but realize that your grown child is the summary of all those years of parenting. That is the goal, right?

Love060708kids
by on Aug. 6, 2012 at 4:15 PM

Welcome!  I'm just an army wife; husband joined the army at 18 and we were married 1 week before he left for Fort Sill, OK for basic and AIT.

asaffell
by Ashley on Aug. 6, 2012 at 4:15 PM
1 mom liked this

Oh mama, I promise it will get easier, even though I've only experienced it as a wife. I know that I had a training matrix when my husband went through bootcamp for the USMC that helped me feel connected a bit more. They're going to take really good care of him, mama, no matter how his letters or calls sound.

Welcome to the group!

XOXOArmyWife
by on Aug. 6, 2012 at 4:23 PM
1 mom liked this

I am in Oklahoma too; but I am not sure how military families do it either...we just do. The day after I got married my husband left for 10 months to Afghanistan. I regret how I handled it; feeling sorry for myself, crying every day and it really killed my life. I wish I would have focused on school, worked and saved money the entire time...I screwed up big time so all I can say to do is to be super strong; not only for yourself but for your son. They have so much to worry about; and their job is hard and dangerous but be proud of him...which I know you are and make his time there easier by letting him know you are okay and will be okay. Have fun making care packages, take lots of pics and send to him, join as many online military support groups. Facebook has a ton! They help out a lot because you will realize you are not alone and some are fun, they play games, you can seek and give advice, etc.

A lot of times I think people forget about the one serving and really get so emotional and depressed; they don't realize how much support we have to be for them. It's so hard; I hate being alone but the time will pass anyhow so you have to make the best of it. I've never had to be strong or tough; so when that deployment came; I crumbled. But; lessons learned and you will get through it. Deployment does end is the best advice anyone ever gave me because nothing anyone else said ever helped me feel better. All I knew is that it was going to end and stupid me should've spent my time more wisely so my husband would have things better for when he returns; which is another hardship at times readjusting. Sent lots of letters, card, packages, e-mails, skype...

adrianna1043
by Adrianna on Aug. 6, 2012 at 4:50 PM
1 mom liked this
You must be crazy! I'm ready to send all my kids to basic, but unfortunately they don't take two year olds:((
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mommaaim12
by on Aug. 6, 2012 at 7:10 PM
1 mom liked this

I agree!!!

Quoting adrianna1043:

You must be crazy! I'm ready to send all my kids to basic, but unfortunately they don't take two year olds:((


moate04
by on Aug. 12, 2012 at 5:55 PM
1 mom liked this

I totally understand how you feel my son who will be 20 in October is in his last few weeks of Basic @ Fort Leonard Wood MO. im goin to graduation the end of aug i cant wait to see him and give him a big hug  The day he left for basic was one of the hardest days of my life, my heart littlery was in pain and i cried for about 2 or 3 days. all my family and friends told me you should be proud that you raised a boy to a man to serve our country why are you so unhappy? my reply was cauz he will always be my baby no matter what and the not knowing what hes doing or what hes goin through drives me crazy, I litterly wait for phone calls and just to hear his voice when i pick up the phone and i hear him say mom i feel so much better. It does get a little easier the key i found was WRITE him. I write my son everyday, I just tell him how proud of i am of him for what hes doing i tell him things that are happing here at home i have also started a scrapbook for him i started it from the day he swore in up till now, his company has a facebook page where they have posted pics of what there doing there are some pics of my son and that also helps as well. See IF your sons company has a facebook page?  IF you ever need anyone to talk to email me. Were are in this together

sailorwifenmom
by on Aug. 12, 2012 at 6:45 PM
1 mom liked this
I'm a military mom and a military wife. It can be hard - some days much harder than others, when your loved one is gone. But one thing that helps foe me, with our son, is knowing that he is doing something he loves to do, and that we raised him to have the courage and motivation and strength of character to go for his dreams. I also remind myself that, while he will always be MY baby, he is not A baby, and, just as my husband and I have been blessed to pursue dreams and live our adult lives how we want, I want that same blessing for our kids (the one in the military and the one at college). Also, I know that even when they aren't here, they are just a phone call or email away, and they are happy. Their happiness, even if it's away from me, is more important to me than their location - better to be away - even if we miss each other - and living full lives than, say, they are leading stunted, miserable lives in our basement or down the road in a dead end job...

Reminding myself of those things helps me. I hope it helps you, too - and welcome to the group!
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